Assumed Identity
by homegrownoregano
Summary: Kensi and Deeks are finally together, only for LAPD to step in and take Deeks back for six months of undercover work. Max makes a reappearance, as do a few other alias. An unexpected blast from the past complicates the mission for Deeks, leaving the ones he loves the most in potentially fatal danger. [Sequel to Bordereau] [COMPLETE]
1. Chapter 1

_Hello, _

_This is the sequel to the fic called Bordereau. It might not make much sense if you haven't read that first. Hope you enjoy._

* * *

The apartment that Deeks was currently sat in certainly wasn't the worst one he had lived in as an undercover operative. Of course it wasn't like the operations he had run with NCIS, his current apartment was still a long way from the suburban house he had lived in as Justin and Melissa. As Max Gentry, he had paid his, rather violent dues, and it had rewarded him with a decent enough kick back that he could afford a slightly more upmarket place, and so, the LAPD had been forced to give him something nicer than the bedsit he had been in before. It wasn't in character for Gentry to clean much, and he drank, hard. This meant the once nice apartment now resembled that of a crack den, with holes in the walls, bottles lying around, and damaged stained furnishing. The apartment looked like someone had tried to visualise what a hangover would look like if it came to life. He had joked to himself one night that Kensi would be happy here but that only made him miss her more than he could already cope with and it wouldn't do him well to have Max Gentry wandering around like a lost puppy.

Deeks had been cleared for duty after only three weeks and he remembered the anger as fresh as if it had happened yesterday. He expected LAPD to give him a few days, instead they had arrived at his door the same day his doctor had cleared him, as though he was a criminal about to skip bail. That had been five weeks ago and he had quickly gained the trust and respect of Harold Sanyo. He knew the current operation was coming to a close and he thought back to the first encounter he'd had with Harold after returning to LAPD.

* * *

"The police in DC are after you." An unexpected voice in his ear had whispered the words, he had turned to see a pretty blonde waitress smile at him, as he turned and locked eyes with her she pointed to the man that sat in the back of the bar. Deeks locked eyes with Sanyo and threw back his drink, throwing the glass down and making his way over. With an authoritative nod of his head he told the two men sitting with Sanyo to move, they looked at their boss only moving when he smiled at them, letting them know everything was okay.

"I hear you've been naughty. How unlike you?" Sanyo was smirking at the man in front of him, looking like the prodigal son had returned. Max didn't feel like joking, Max never did. Instead he asked a question.

"How much do you know about what happened in DC?" He knew exactly what Sam and Callen had shown him, but he wanted to see how up front he would be. Sanyo was notorious for not trusting anyone which made it even stranger that he told him every detail of his encounter with 'two DC mall cops'. His story never wavering from the one he had been told from his friends.

"So did you really kill that cop?" his voice wasn't one of disgust, but admiration, and it made Deeks feel sick.

"Yeah, let me just admit that to you. I was in the middle of a deal with George Peterson, and suddenly his phone rings and then he's dead and there are a ton of feds on our ass? I had to run on a bad leg, almost got caught. I know it was you that called."

"You think I've been flipped?" he laughed heartily. "You know that isn't true. I did call but I was warning him about you. I heard rumours that it was you that was working for our dear boys in blue."

"Well it looks like there is someone spreading bad information about us both. I'm guessing the same person that killed Allard and tried to kill me."

* * *

The conversation to reinsert himself back in Sanyo's life had been as easy as that. Max hadn't even had to use violence. Deeks wouldn't admit that the lack of violence had disappointed him.

In the five weeks since leaving NCIS he had quickly infiltrated the organisation. Sanyo's most recent job for him was to break into Allards old office, stealing the files that he had kept on all the other organisations. This meant Deeks knew his current op was coming to a close, he had pushed down any emotions akin to excitement, focusing entirely on getting out alive. The place he had to break into before he could go home was under protection by what remained of Allards former back up. They were fighting for the position at the top, and it was a volatile situation for an ally of Allard to enter that building, never mind going in as the man who helped kill the boss.

Deeks knew that although he wanted to keep the casualties Max piled up to a minimum, in instances like this, it was kill or be killed, but it didn't make him feel any better about it. As he pulled up a few blocks away he almost made a move for the glove box, suddenly realising he wasn't about to breach the building with Kensi and he had no comms to get from the glove compartment. Shaking his head and refocusing it he was soon back in the game. It been a while since he had been so deep undercover and being sloppy could get him killed. Taking the gun from the small of his back, he closed the door and started making his way towards the building. He could see five men in the living room, their silhouettes clear through the window. Another two men were sat outside on the front step so it would be impossible to get in through the front door without a major shoot out. Instead he pulled up his hood, eager not to be seen, and took the alley beside the house.

Making quick work of the ten foot wall, he silently cursed as his leg flared up in pain. He jumped from the wall and into the open upstairs hallway window. He knew that one room to his right was Allards office. Sneaking around, the coast was clear. Slowly he pulled the handle down, not wanting to make a sound. Max had only been invited into Allards office twice, a huge honour amongst thieves. Deeks filled a bag with all the paper documents, there wasn't many, he tended to keep everything on hard drives. After stuffing the bag he grabbed the two external hard drives and the laptop. Swinging the bag around his shoulder he clicked open the door again, finding himself face to face with a gun. The bag around his shoulder swung around, and he smacked the guy in the face with it. It stunned him for a few moments, enough for Deeks to get back to the hallway window and across the wall. As he stood on the wall he saw the gun raise, aiming towards him, without thinking he took the shot, getting the man in the chest and alerting everyone downstairs to the commotion. He ran until he found his car and then drove back to his apartment as fast as he could.

* * *

Half an hour later, Deeks had opened the door, smiling at the woman in the very short skirt, every bit of her outfit said hooker and they both knew it, he gave her a glance up and down.

"Hey Max. You missed me?"

"Oh, so much, bitch." He smirked, giving her a long stare over her body, pulling his hand down her hair as she stepped inside. Quickly dropping the act, had he said 'of course' instead of 'so much' she would have high tailed it out of there, knowing they had been compromised. She took the sofa, grabbing the pen drive from her bag.

"Let's get started." Detective Sarah Pope grabbed the laptop, trying to ignore the clothes she was sat in. Deeks made his way into the kitchen and heard her ask. "You had any issues?"

"I think they are still watching the apartment, they are more scared I'll run from cops than them so nothing to worry about." He answered quickly, placing a glass of soda in front of her. She had always liked Detective Deeks, he saved her life in her first undercover op and she had felt indebted to him since. He was like a big brother, so she felt a little self concious at her outfit. He must have known because he threw a blanket at her and she made an off handed comment about the lucky girl that would eventually get his heart. His smile told him there already was someone. She handed him a pen drive and he started on one of the hard drives.

"So who is the lucky lady?" her voice was teasing and he didn't want to think about Kensi because he knew the feelings would overtake him. She ignored his discomfort and pushed on. "Is it that bad ass partner from NCIS? Because you totally owe me if it is." He laughed, remembering meeting her for coffee shortly after he started NCIS. He had spent time complaining about how they didn't trust him, and he had maybe taken a little too long describing his new partner. She had called it then and told him he'd end up dating her. He'd laughed it off at the time but apart of him knew she was right even then. They fell into easy banter and she demanded to get to meet Kensi once this whole mess was over. He agreed and it felt good for someone to know him as Deeks for a little while. Once they were sure they had all the information from the devices, she snapped photos of the few paper files that had been taken.

"Take care of yourself. Don't get yourself killed for the jackasses back at the precinct." He gave her a hug and removed the blanket. Opening the door, she strutted away, taking all the evidence they needed to take down Sanyo and about five other big 'businesses', the door closing as quickly as he had opened it.

She had been away only a few minutes when he heard a knock at his door.

"Paying for it now Max?" the voice asked. Sanyo had dropped in by himself, probably leaving back up in the car Deeks thought. "You really are a dirty dog you know that?" He ignored the man that was now wandering around his apartment. "I arrived earlier but when I saw you had a guest I thought I'd let you blow off some steam first. You get everything alright?"

"Yeah." He pointed at the items on the table. "Found out who was spreading those nasty rumours about us flipping. They were dealt with." Sanyo broke into a smile. All the information and a nice little revenger murder to match. Max Gentry really hadn't changed he thought. Sanyo called some men to come in and carry the items to the car, giving Max an envelope with a substantial amount of cash. He didn't react and placed it on the table like he had handed him a paper weight.

"See you tomorrow Max."

"Sure." he answered without care, knowing they'd all be in prison by tomorrow evening. Knowing his bosses at LAPD, they'd say the one Max killed was the informant, keeping the Max alias open. He kicked the wall at the thought of that. Regretting it instantly as the pain seared up his leg. He grabbed to pain killers and headed to bed, trying to think about where his partner was at the moment.

The image of her smile enough to get him out of the bad mood he had felt curl around him earlier, and he finally managed to fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Kensi thought about where her partner might be at this late hour, not paying much attention to the dog now pulling her in the opposite direction of the park. She gave a short whistle and he started walking beside her again, happily keeping up with her. Monty was going on a late night adventure to the park despite the darkness that had fallen over Los Angeles because Kensi felt bad about leaving him alone for so long today. She had spent the entire day, and most of the evening catching up on the reports she had put off writing for the past five weeks. Normally Deeks would sit across from her, launching food, and occasionally pencils if she was taking too long. He would lean back on his chair and make jokes as she wrote, making it slightly bearable. She wondered if he was thinking about her, they had been separated for five weeks now and she still remembered the moment she had returned from work to find him gone, the memory as fresh as if it had happened only moments before.

* * *

She had picked up some take out on her way home, heading straight to his, it had became her normal routine. She felt pleased that they had managed to keep their relationship a secret. She had found the door locked, but figured he had decided to take Monty for a long walk as he had been cleared for active duty only hours before. When she finally found her key to his house, everything was in darkness, she spotted Monty curled up in his chair, and a note on the table. Her heart had fallen to her knees and she felt panic take over, but Deeks wasn't Jack she reminded herself, so she opened the note and began to read.

_Kensi,_

_LAPD turned up and need me for a case straight away, they aren't going to give up an extra second of these six months if they can help it. _

_I'm so sorry princess, they wouldn't let me wait for you to come home, or call and let you know. Please know it isn't my choice to leave._

_Stay safe, and miss me. But not too much, like a standard amount of missing allowed. _

_Don't be too mean to Sam, Callen and the new kid. They can't handle your cutting words like I do. Don't yell at the new guy for not being me, this whole package I've got going is one of a kind deal._

_I knew Monty would be okay with you, but please don't feed him that disgusting chicken thing you love from Elizondo's because it will be you that has to clean it up. _

_Miss you already, _

_Marty xx_

* * *

Kensi was walking along with Monty, reading the note once more. It had been an almost nightly occurrence for her to read the note as she walked their dog. Unsure at exactly what point Monty had become 'theirs' but it was before he left she knew that much. Reading the note made her feel a little closer to him. No matter how many times she read it she laughed. At work she needed to be Agent Blye, tough, no nonsense and she had a rookie to look out for on top of her normal duties. So she allowed herself these moments, at the end of the day, knowing he would tell her she was going 'soft' but smiling at her like it was the greatest thing.

Of course as soft as he joked she was becoming, it didn't stop the rampage she went on the day after she found his empty house. Storming into OPS, she had marched past Sam and Callen, launching her bag as she passed, landing it directly on her chair with a loud crash. The team that sat in the bullpen quickly stopped their chatting, they knew that look of determination and followed her up the stairs, a nervous looking Mark close behind.

"Nell, where is Hetty?" she demanded, making the analyst jump. Kensi had felt bad for that later but in the moment her rage was too much.

"I think she's out of town. I'll call you up if I get a hold of her?" Nell had asked softly, knowing something was wrong with her friend.

"I'll wait." Was all Kensi said, as she stood in ops, arms folded, staring at the screen. Kensi had stood in ops for ten minutes, unmoving, worrying her friends.

"Miss. Blye. I am in Washington at the moment, I heard you wished to speak." The screen had flashed white before settling on the image of Hetty.

"Hetty, did you know?" Kensi asked, a sudden softness to her voice, it wouldn't surprise her if she did but she thought they had repaired the holes in the friendship that had been caused by the white ghost mission and she would never trust her boss again if she allowed them to take him before they said goodbye.

"Miss. Blye. I don't know what has happened." Kensi could see the honesty in her eyes. It only made her more furious that they had also went above Hetty and NCIS.

"Those bastards took Deeks. No warning, just took him without a chance for him to say goodbyes or sort out Monty." Sam and Callen realised this had meant he had been forced to leave without them getting a proper goodbye. They expected another three weeks with their friend. Another three weeks to drop hints that they knew about the two of them. They had even planned a huge party and everyone in the office was coming. "Hetty, they can't do this, you can't let them."

"I'm afraid they can Miss. Blye. I shall be reporting it however, I feel Mr. Deeks deserved more respect from them. As did we. We will discuss this when I get back tomorrow." Hetty spoke before the connection had cut.

That hadn't been the best day for Mark to chose to shadow Kensi before his official placement with them. Sam had actually decided, after looking at how scared Agent Campbell appeared, that he would pair up with Kensi that day. He had been surprised when, after she had calmed down and they found themselves alone in his car, she told him that she was scared she would never see him again. It was a fear Sam shared but he knew that the bond between partners was different, and Kensi and Deeks relationship went deeper than a normal partnership anyway. From that day they had all alternated partners every case, finding it easier on them all. Kensi had felt a little guilty at tearing apart Sam and Callen but they assured her they didn't mind looking out for the new guy, she knew what they were saying was '_we don't mind looking out for you.'_

* * *

She made her way home from the park quickly, shaking away the thoughts of the past five weeks. Opening the familiar door and stepping inside. She hadn't been to her own apartment since the day after he left, finding it easier to be around his things. Knowing she really should inform the team about her move, but she didn't want to, it would tell them about the change in circumstances between the partners. She also figured moving in permanently was a conversation she should have with Deeks. Taking the lead from Monty, she slumped in her chair. A small knock at her door moments later stirred her from the sleep she had quickly fallen into. She grabbed her gun, she was at Deeks apartment and everyone thought he was out of town. No one should know anyone was here.

Taking a look through the peep-hole she saw a young guy, around seventeen, standing with a box in his hand. She opened the door, hiding her gun but ready to use it.

"I was told to deliver this to this address and give it to Fern?" She smiled and took the long box from the boy and made her way back inside. Opening it she saw a single rose, and she rolled her eyes at how romantic it felt. At the bottom of the rose was a small typed note.

_**It's over. **_

_**I have my sights on you.**_

Taking a peek out her window looking for any cars or strange people hanging around but the street seemed clear. It was a strange note and she tried to make sense of it. _"It's over"_ that must refer to whatever his first op was. _"I've have my sights set on you."_ maybe he was getting to come home sooner than she expected. The thought of having Deeks back in her arms for even a few nights sent her heart beating into overdrive. She took the rose from the box, swearing as she stabbed herself with a thorn, and placed it in a vase.

Kensi locked up and headed to bed, hoping her dreams would be full of a smiling Deeks and not something else.


	3. Chapter 3

Deeks had fallen asleep quickly, but he found his slumber plagued with images he would rather not see. Drills, pain and an almost broken Sam screaming at him about Michelle took over his mind. He could see his friend through the doors, tied to the chair. Sam looked up and they made eye contact. Deeks blinked, when he opened his eyes he saw Kensi. She was sat where Sam had been moments before, bound to the chair. The room around her began warping into a cave. The white walls turning to stone. They appeared from nowhere, trying to pull his mouth open but he refused. Then he saw others, one of them looked like his father, they moved towards Kensi with a machete. He opened his mouth to scream out to her, to try and warn her, and felt the drill enter his mouth. He could see the knife being raised in the air, as it began to fall towards Kensi he heard banging. Like the walls were falling in on him.

Deeks woke up and felt sweat all over his body, realising it had been a dream. His heart felt like it was going to explode from his chest. He reached out to the bed, suddenly remembering he wasn't with Kensi. He reminded himself that Kensi was safe and there was no drills in his mouth. His hand found his jaw, he could still feel the ache every time he woke from a nightmare like this. He then realised that the banging from his dream, the crashing sound that had shocked him awake wasn't a figment of his imagination, it was coming from his front door. He quickly grabbed the gun that was taped to the underside of his bed and moved cautiously into the hall. A dozen police now stood in his living room. He had no clue how much they knew about the case and figured that as uniforms, they thought he was as guilty as Sanyo, so he placed his gun on the ground and raised his hands.

One officer stood forward. Kicking away his gun and taking out their handcuffs.

"Max Gentry. You are under arrest..." He tuned them out, knowing exactly what they were saying to him. He had been a lawyer after all. He spotted one of the officers holding the proper documentation for the arrest and saw that had he been a real suspect, the warrant to breach his house was invalid and he could win it in court. Making a note to point out their mistake back at the precinct he allowed them to go through the motions.

As they pulled him into the station, he passed by a few of Sanyo's men, they were cuffed at a bench. He gave them a quick nod, finding it returned, they all assumed they were in this together. The arresting officer pushed him through a door and into a small room. He sat in the small interrogation room and they cuffed him to the desk and walked out. He sat staring at the cold walls, missing the smell of the ocean that he had came to expect from interrogations. It was another fifteen minutes of staring at the wall before someone he recognised walked in. Neither of them spoke until the door was fully closed.

"You did good. Those files are going to put away a lot of people." his cuffs were unlocked as he looked up at the man in front of him. Detective Omar Stephens. Deeks thought he was a good cop, and he was one of the few members of LAPD that Deeks could stand, he might even go as far as considering him a friend.

"How much do they suspect me?" Deeks asked, rubbing his wrist, which were sore from the young officers eagerness to make an arrest.

"I honestly don't know. When Sanyo was brought in he was shouting something about how '_that bastard is going to get it._' but we don't know who he was talking about. Do you think he knows?"

"I'm not sure Omar, he seemed to believe me when I pinned it on the guy from Allard's place but who knows. His original suspicion was that I had flipped, not that I was a cop so he isn't going to come after me. Max is being packed away anyway, so we have nothing to worry about."

Omar looked nervous, he knew that Deeks was one of the best undercover operatives, but he felt guilty at the position he was being put it.

"Deeks." he said, his voice lower, leaning in towards his friend. "They want to milk you for all you have, they hate that you are NCIS now. If getting their cases closed gets you killed, I don't think they will hesitate to send you in somewhere you shouldn't be." It had been the second time that day someone from LAPD had warned him about how the LAPD just wanted their cases closed. He needed to clear his head of all undercover business before he could deal with anything.

"Can I go home now?" It wasn't that he was ignoring the warning, and his friend knew that, he was simply exhausted.

"I'll go find out, they have probably been booked by now so the coast is clear."

It wasn't Omar that returned moments later. It was Bates. His boss. Deeks never thought he could miss the small, bespectacled NCIS Operations Manager as much as he did now.

"Your new name." Bates said, throwing down a file. Deeks opened it, taking a quick glance. "How long have I got between ops?" He was hoping for a full week but expected a only a few days.

"We are dropping you off at your new home in 30 minutes. Get ready."

"Are you kidding me?" Deeks yelled, standing up, his face inches from his boss. Bates knew that Deeks wouldn't do a thing, he couldn't become an agent if he attacked his boss. He never backed down from Deeks, despite the rage in his eyes. Bates spoke, as calmly as he could.

"We have a lot of work to do. And six months to do it in. You get through the next op fast and maybe we can discuss a little furlough." Deeks shot him a growl but knew there was nothing to be done. He sat back down and began to read the first page of the file, it contained the main details of the case.

* * *

**NAME:** Matt Graham

**DOB: **December 28th 1980

**TARGET: **A group of mercenaries (5 Men, 2 Women: Known as: _**The Seven Ruins**_)

**KEY DETAILS:** _The Seven Ruins_ are looking for someone who can help bring in large quantities of weapons, money and drugs. They are hired soldiers, working for the Lozano Cartel.

**GOAL:** Infiltrate _The Seven Ruins_. Collect details on all members. Background, tactical strengths and weaknesses. How the group works, who the leader is and help them move the weapons into America. Find out how much they are aware of the inner working of the Lozana Cartel.

* * *

He eventually flipped from the front page and had read the entire file three times by the time Omar came back into the room. He threw a bag at the detective and motioned for him to follow.

They drove in silence for a while, Deeks didn't bother trying to work out where they were driving too, all he wanted was to drive to Kensi's house. After they had been driving for twenty minutes, Omar began briefing Deeks.

"Your new apartment is upmarket, Matt has money and connections around the world. Your wardrobes are filled with suits so you can ditch the Max clothes as soon as we drop you off. The Seven Ruins have been in contact with you for five months. They believe you are in Bogotá at the moment and have been in contact with you via the dark web messaging service "PigeonPost". All the usernames, passwords and every conversation is in the file in that bag." Omar nodded his head towards the bag Deeks had been handed before he left the precinct. He was tired but listening, he needed to know as much as he could before he slipped into the role of Matt Graham.

They pulled up at the house. It sat on a slight hill, had an ocean view, and a security gate. 'Deeks realised that Omar was right about the money his cover was supposed to have. They sat for a few seconds before Deeks reached into his pocket, a nervous look falling on his face.

"Could you deliver this to my partner?" Omar looked at him, and then at the envelope. Deeks looked anxious as he spoke again. "I know this breaks protocol, and feel free to wait a few days so it goes unnoticed, but can you deliver it?" Omar could hear the desperation in his friends voice. He took the envelope, and reached into his jacket pulling out a pen.

"What's her address?" Deeks smiled at his friend and told him Kensi's address. Trusting him with that information. "Do you want me to hand deliver it and speak to her or..?" his voice trailed off, unsure what Deeks needed from him.

"If they find out that you spoke to her, they'll go mad. Just slip it through her letter box and she'll get it. Thanks man." Deeks climbed out of the car and threw the bag over his shoulder. He stood and watched as the car drove away. Copying the number from the piece of paper in front of him, he typed in the security code. The gate swung open and Deeks walked into his new life.

Inside he quickly stripped of the clothes that belonged to Max, dumping them in a box he found at the back of his wardrobe. He looked around, seeing racks of suits, and more ties than any man could ever need. The budget wasn't what he expected from LAPD but he knew if they brought the amount of weapons that had been discussed in the file, the bonus would work out. Plus they had just taken down two cartels with the information Deeks got as Max, and they were close to getting others. Deeks didn't care about the money, or the politics involved in his job. Throwing himself back on the bed he debated for a moment between sleep and research. Closing his eyes and seeing Sam tied to a chair made the decision from him. He would research.

It was seven hours after he had been dropped off that Deeks finally finished reading the conversations. He had re-read some parts a few times, thinking they might be important. From what he could tell a man by the name of Connar seemed to be the leader of the group, he along with his wife Natalie seemed at the top of the small groups hierarchy. He was told to let them know he had returned to Los Angeles, as soon as he was settled. Deeks typed up the message but didn't send it, instead he decided to shower, and sleep for a while.

After waking from a mostly peaceful sleep, he still missed having Kensi beside him but had no nightmare, he decided to get started. Hitting send on the message he started making his breakfast, surprised when only ten minutes after he sent the message he received a reply. It was asking for a meeting between Connar and Matt, no one else at this point. Matt replied, telling him to set it up and he'd be there. Only a minute later he replied.

_Cafe Del Ray. 4451 Admiralty Way. 1am. Tomorrow._

Deeks smiled, hoping this case would be quick, and the sooner he got started, the sooner he got to go home. Bates was not the kindest of men, and he was desperate to impress the new mayor. He tried not to get his hopes up about going home after this operation, because Omar was right. The LAPD cared about one thing, and that was making these arrests. Not the well-being of Marty Deeks.


	4. Chapter 4

From what Deeks could gather from the _'PigeonPost'_ transcripts, Matt Graham was self absorbed, narcissistic, arrogant and seemed to always be in control. He started dressing in the suit, Deeks falling away with each step. He had to _become_ Matt Graham. The suit material was softer than his normal bath robe, revelling in the luxury, the label telling him it was Armani. As he inspected his look in the mirror, brushing down the suit, he saw Matt Graham come to life. With a smirk that looked strange on the normally smiling face of Marty Deeks, he could see he now looked like a man to be reckoned with, one last glance in the mirror and he knew he was ready to go. Throwing all the files together, he hid it under the kitchen sink in an empty box of laundry detergent. It was one of his favourite places to hide things. People would rarely think to look inside.

As he drove over he made some evasive manoeuvres that Sam and Callen had taught him a few months before. He knew that as mercenaries, they would be suspicious of him at first, and may possibly try and follow him. He wanted to prove to them, that Matt Graham was just as dangerous and elusive as they were. After all, being discreet was Matt Graham's job.

The car he had been given was a Jaguar XJ, with a sleek grey body, and an engine that could cope with anything, Deeks fell even deeper into the role of Matt Graham, revelling in the speed the car allowed him. Switching on the techno station that he would normally snap off any other day, he enjoyed the ride. The sun was sitting perfectly in the sky, the surf looking incredible. All he wanted to do was pick up Kensi, drive to the beach and enjoy being with her. Picturing her in her bikini, his mind wandering, images of them throwing a ball back and forward with Monty running between them. He chastised himself, knowing that thoughts of Deeks life wouldn't help him get through Matt Graham's mission faster.

He stopped the thoughts of Kensi, but never switched off the station.

Pulling up at Cafe Del Ray, he pulled into a space. There was no valet for the lunch service. He sat for a moment, glancing around the almost empty parking lot. Using his mirrors, he quickly spotted only one camera and it wouldn't have gotten a shot at his face yet. The cafe wasn't far from the boatshed and he was distracted for a moment thinking about Kensi once again, wondering if she was grilling a suspect at this very moment. Shaking his head of thoughts of the tall brunette, he turned his focus back on the camera, and made plans on how to avoid it, leaving all thoughts of Kensi in the car. He pulled his phone to his ear, turning his head as far from the camera as possible. He wanted to make sure that Matt Graham stayed anonymous to as many people as possible. Entering the foyer he took the phone from his ear and was greeted by the hostess. She had dark brown eyes, which matched her hair, curls that seemed to defy gravity.

"I'm Dia, your hostess and waitress for today. How can I help you sir." She was full of smiles, her positivity shining through.

"Meeting an associate, Connar." He made no attempt at pleasantries, exhaling in boredom, he leaned an arm on the bar, looking tired of their current conversation, inspecting his nails instead of looking at the hostess.

"He is here already, I'll take you to him." The hostess look unimpressed, the business types were always the worst she thought, they never tipped either. Deeks could see her fight to force a smile on her face as she led the way to the table at the window. He had no time to think about the feelings of the woman beside him, instead he was focused on Connar. He sat in his chair, now getting a look at his target. He was thinner than Deeks had expected, with dark hair and a gaunt face. Not the muscular ex-marine he had been expecting. Surprised to find that he was both taller, and more built than the leader of the seven ruins. The hostess was still standing above them and Deeks ordered quickly and then turned to look out at the marina, it seemed as though boats stretched into the horizon. Eventually they were alone, having given their orders to the waitress.

"Good to finally meet you. You're a hard fella to get a meeting with." Connar, despite being the leader of The Seven Ruins, seemed eager to please Matt. They must really need to get something difficult into the country Deeks thought, before answering.

"Well I lead a busy life. I had a few issues in Bogotá that I had deal with before I could come home. My clients in Columbia pay a great deal of money to ensure I am able to do my job correctly." Their drinks had arrived and they stopped speaking once more. Waiting until they were alone.

"Look, we need your services, you seem like the only one that can get it done. We don't mind paying a premium." He slid a piece of paper across the table. It was a list of items handwritten by Connar.

_**Undisclosed Amount - Weapons grade uranium. **_

_**14 - Agram 2000 Sub machine guns. **_

_**100 - SIG Sauer MPX. **_

_**17 - Mk 47 Strikers. **_

_**43 - Siavash sniper rifles. **_

_**1 - MIM-104 Patriot.**_

"You have a Patriot?" Deeks asked, a smile growing on his face. Connar probably took this as excitement. Deeks however was smiling because he knew getting a patriot out of the hands of a cartel would be so impressive they might give him time off. The MIM-104 Patriot was a weapon known as a surface to air missile. It was designed to prevent and destroy air bourne threats. However in the wrong hands it could take down air support sent in to deal with cartels, or even just to take down airforce test flights as a form of terrorism. Either way, having a MIM-104 in the hands of the enemy wasn't good and would lead to deaths of active soldiers and civilians. Connar hadn't responded as the waitress had brought over starters, once again their conversation paused until they found themselves alone.

"Yes." Excitement evident in Connar's voice. "It was difficult to get a hold of but our issue now is how to move it." Deeks thought for a moment. It would take at least four shipping containers to get every part of the MIM-104 Patriot into the country. Then he would have to move in the other items. Luckily he had connections to make it happen. As Deeks was thinking, Connar spoke once more, his enthusiasm growing in his voice. "Do you think you can move it?"

Deeks, or rather, Matt laughed in response.

"Of course. Easily." A smile broke out on both mens faces.

They began to eat and Deeks used the faith Connar now had in him to ask more questions.

"I have to know who I am working with. I am discreet. I still need to know." Deeks kept his voice calm, Matt was unnerved by most things. Always calm, and always in control. He looked Connar directly in the eyes. If Connar refused to give the names he would simply refuse to bring in the weapons, and he knew that he was his only option. He watched as Connar debated all of this in his mind. He must have decided that the payout was worth trusting in Matt.

"My wife and I, Natalie, she is a former CIA operative. Well an old friend of her, Ada Warren, she worked as a private security, for the Lozano Cartel. Once they realised her connections we had a meeting with Mauricio, the head of the cartel." He paused looking at Matt, unsure if he should continue. Instead of stopping, he lowered his voice, leaning in closer. "Ada and Natalie set it up. We called in some old friends to help out. We worked with Ada, giving protection to the cartel. Clayton, Peter, Lucas and Devin are the other members of our little group but they don't understand how deep this goes. They think we are just providing the cartel with protection. They know nothing about the weapons." Deeks nodded, letting the man know he had said enough, for now.

Deeks sat back, calculating in his mind. The Patriot alone was worth more than three million dollars as a flat fee for the DOD to build it, but its rarity bumped the price even higher in the market place they were working in. He had to think of a fee that would be believable. Taking a pen from his jacket and a small card with his details on it he leaned over, writing.

_$1.2 Million._

He slid the piece of paper across the table, beginning to explain his price as he did.

"I like what you can get your hands on. That price is a promise that we work exclusively from now on, regardless of what you are importing." Connar's eyes lit up and Deeks knew he had offered what was the low end of their budget to pay him. A hand stretched out and Deeks took it, giving a firm handshake. Raising his glass, they toasted in celebration, Deeks feeling himself one step closer to ending this whole situation.

He allowed Connar to pay, wanting to leave no trace of his visit. Connar got up and left first, after Matt Graham had told him to get in touch when they were able to make the move. Deeks realised that Connar hadn't given the waitress a tip. He took out the $60 he would have paid for the meal and threw it on the table, shooting the waitress an apologetic look before he too exited the building.

Avoiding the cameras as he settled back into his car, once again making evasive manoeuvres and quickly finding himself back home. Deeks settled into his house, ready to the make a transcript of the conversation he just recorded, slipping the note of weapons into a evidence bag before dumping it in the laundry box.


	5. Chapter 5

The alarm that sat a few feet from the bed shrieked loudly, after its fifth yell, Kensi's hand shot out from the bed, hitting the air until she finally found the offending machine, shutting it up for the third time that morning. She rolled over, disappointed that the dream she had of Deeks coming home had been just that, a dream. Finally pushing herself from the bed and into the shower, trying to shake off thoughts of her partner in the field alone. She wasn't going to be late despite her extra fifteen minutes in bed as she had purposefully set her alarm early that morning. The night before Kensi had realised just how long it had been since she was last in her apartment and had decided to check in before work.

Monty fed and walked, she locked up and left the apartment, noting that it was becoming as messy and cluttered as her own place and she should probably clean it at some point. Making a note to sort it that night she climbed into her car, and pulled away.

Driving into her old parking space she realised she didn't miss this place at all. It was slightly bigger than his apartment, but she was more comfortable at Deeks house. This house held memories of trying to claw her way back to normality after Afghanistan. Deeks house on the other hand was where she felt normal, and safe. Even on her worst days, going to Deeks for beers, take out and bad tv had made her feel better, it made her feel like nothing had changed. Turning her key in the lock she found a small pile of letters. She didn't have time to sort through them before work so she placed them all into a bag, planning to sort through them all that evening. Suddenly realising that she had probably missed a bunch of bills, she huffed at how much she would have to do that night. She also grabbed a few more items of clothes, spare toiletries to save her a trip to the store, and checked on all the windows and doors. Everything seemed to be as she had left it, she locked up once more, threw the items in the trunk and made her way to work.

As she drove to the old Spanish style building, she focused on all the details around her. The other cars, the signs on the roadside, the sky, anything but Deeks. Despite her effort though, he was all she could see. She flicked on the radio, switching between stations, before landing on a song she knew Deeks would have demanded stayed on. Even though he wasn't in the car, and she would normally switch it off in seconds, she kept it playing, allowing herself to remember him for just a moment. The song cut off in perfect time, as she rolled into her usual space at work.

She had pulled up at ops at the same time as Callen and they made their way towards the door, quickly falling into step with each other. Kensi took one look at her friend, a smile stretching across her face.

"How is Joelle?" she teased, she had recognised his top as the same one he had on the day before and she could smell, what was becoming a very familiar scent of rose and raspberry, Joelle's chosen perfume. Rookie mistake she thought, feeling a little proud that she and Deeks had never been caught.

"She's good." he smiled, knowing he had been caught, but not caring. "She is really, really good. How are you?" his eyes seemed to change, now full of pity despite trying not to show it.

Missing Deeks, tired, worried, lonely, scared and angry. That is how Kensi was.

"I'm fine." she answered with a forced smile, pushing through the doors and into the familiar building. She didn't have time to say hello to the group before she heard the familiar whistle coming from the top of the stairs.

"We got a case guys." Eric's voice echoing around the building.

The team made their way up the stairs, she shot Mark a small smile as a way of saying hello, trying her hardest to see him as something other than _'Deeks Replacement'_, despite all the weeks they had worked together that's all she saw him as. He had yet to prove himself. Sam too, was growing sick of his attitude. He was often scared to approach suspects, and his undercover work was less than believable. Sam hadn't admitted it yet, but he was really starting to miss Deeks.

Kensi gave Sam a small nudge, which he returned with a smile. As the doors slid open and Eric led the way into ops, they found Hetty looking even more serious than normal.

* * *

"Mr. Beale, if you will." Hetty ordered. No time for pleasantries, this case was clearly important.

"Two weeks ago, Nick Connar, the leader of a group known as The Seven Ruins met with a man known as Matt Graham, someone who moves items in and out of the country for less than reputable people. The seven ruins currently work for the Lozano cartel. Chatter was picked up in the deep web private messaging service called 'PigeonPost'. That is how we found out. They had arranged to meet at Cafe Del Ray but we didn't find out until after the meeting took place."

Eric typed away furiously, as he spoke, images and facts suddenly appearing on screen regarding each of the seven ruins. Ex-Marines, Delta Force, Army, and CIA operatives. Highly trained and very dangerous. "We have no photos or details of Matt Graham at the moment, he appears to be somewhat of a ghost but the interactions between him and this group go back months, we don't know how we missed them." Eric paused for a moment before nodding to Nell. Seeing her cue she placed an image on the screen.

"This is an MIM-104 Patriot. They have one of these, as well as other weapons. The Patriot was stolen from a US base in Iraq two months ago, four officers lost their lives during the robbery."

"That's a dangerous piece of technology." Sam remarked, he had heard of them before, they were capable of shooting planes and missiles out of the sky with ease. He uncrossed his arms and made his way closer to the screen, pointing at the offensive weapon. "If this Matt Graham manages to get that into the hands of the cartel, hundreds of lives could be lost. Military and civilian."

"Do we not have any footage of Matt Graham from the cafe?" Mark asked, his voice quiet, he was still getting accustomed to the informal briefings this group had, at the FBI you remained silent until the briefing was over.

"This is the only footage we have. Two short videos, his face isn't in either of them." Nell typed something quickly, a vine popping up on the screen, followed shortly by a small loop of cctv.

In the first video, the six second vine, a Jaguar XJ pulled into a parking lot, the boys in the video talking about how nice a car it was, music blaring from it. As it looped on the screen, Kensi found herself swaying along to it, bopping her head to the familiar tune, quickly realising what she was doing she stopped, hoping no one saw. Suddenly thankful she had chosen to stand at the back of the room.

"The other video?" she asked, eager to stop the techno.

The black and white image was very grainy, impossible to make out any details. A man in a suit walked towards the entrance, the picture so low quality that they could barely make him out other than his height which was just over six feet.

"We can't clear up the image, it is far too poor in quality. He was also hiding from the camera on purpose, because no cells towers were pinged at that moment so he didn't actually use his phone." Nell said, knowing that would be their next two question.

"So we have no other images? Did you follow his car on traffic cams?" Eric stood up when he heard Sam's question, wielding his tablet in his hand.

"We tried, he used pretty impressive evasive tactics. We lost him two streets away and he never reappears." Eric had placed the last image of the car on the screen.

"We identified the boys in the vine, their addresses have been sent to your cells."

Callen gave Nell a nod, signalling his thanks for the briefing. "Mark and I will take the boys from the video, see if they know anything. Sam and Kens, you guys take the restaurant? Maybe someone can describe him to a sketch artist?"

They split into their cars, Kensi allowing Sam to drive, she was after all, splitting his partnership up.

* * *

"How you doing, Kensi?" Sam asked after they had been driving for a few minutes, breaking the companionable silence they had been sitting in.

"Okay, you?" she asked, ignoring his deeper questions.

"I miss that dumb partner of yours." She smiled and stopped looking out the window, instead facing Sam. It was nice to know that she wasn't the only one that missed him. She knew Sam and Deeks had grown closer after the incident with the Russians. That's how Deeks always described it. The incident. "It's okay to miss him you know, you don't always have to put on a brave face." he said, knowing her mind was beginning to wander. He also knew that keeping their relationship a secret must be tearing her up.

"I know. It doesn't help any of us to get emotional about it though." she said, her voice stoic. He knew it was a defensive action, pretending not to care about anything. It was the Kensi he had first met when she started at NCIS. For a long time that was what they had assumed was the real Kensi. Sam knew that it was better to allow her to hide what she was feeling at this time, making a note to have a cook out that weekend for the team, he'd talk to her there where she didn't need to be on the defensive. He looked back at the road, and she looked back out the window. The silence a little heavier, but still easy, staying with them until they arrived at the marina.

They had arrived at the cafè in record time, identification at the ready as they pulled the doors open and entered the restaurant. A girl smiled as she walked towards them with two menus. Sam flashed his badge before she got closer and a look of confusion crossed her face and she placed the menus on a table, making her way towards them.

"Can I help you?" She asked, her eyes showing worry, this wasn't the kind of establishment that garnered the type of clientèle that pulled the attention of the police.

"We were wondering if you might remember a booking. Two men, one by the name of Connar, the other by the name of Graham." The girl pulled out a large black book.

"Do you have a date and time?" Sam filled her in on the details and a look of comprehensive flashed across her face when she flipped the book back to two weeks ago. "I do know who you are talking about. Aha." she yelled motioning at the appointment book. "It was booked under the name Connar, and he paid in cash but he didn't leave a tip. I never got the name of his associate but his associate left a pretty big tip, in cash too, which was unexpected because..." Her voice trailed off.

"Because of what?" Kensi prodded.

"He was a bit of a douchebag to be honest." she smiled when she saw that the agents were smiling back. That was one way of describing a violent arms dealer Kensi thought.

"Can you describe him?" she asked, eager for more information.

"Tall, tan, blonde..." She paused for a moment, then decided to say what she was thinking. "Hot. I don't know, we have had a lot of customers this week and they all merge together I'm sorry. He was good looking though and his suit was really nice. I'm sorry we don't have cameras here so I can't really help with anything else."

They thanked the girl and gave her a card, asking her to call if they ever meet here again. Promising that she would they headed towards their car, Kensi pulling out her phone, dialling Callen, placing it on loudspeaker and holding the cell phone between them.

"What did you find out?" Callen's voice asked, slightly gravelly through the phone.

"That he is tall, blonde, hot and a great tipper." Sam and Kensi laughed, as Sam filled him in. The girl had looked a little flustered as she had described Matt Graham. "You guys get anything?"

"'He was a rich white dude', they were more focused on the car. Meet you guys back at ops?"

"Sure."

* * *

They climbed back into the car and made their way back to ops, no closer to finding the weapons, or the dealer than they were earlier. Sam spent the whole journey back discussing what he heard about the weapon, its killing power, as well as his anger at Marines and Navy Seals going against their country. Although he did make Kensi laugh when he said that a rogue CIA agent didn't surprise him, she teased back that she was telling Callen. Despite their jokes and attempts at being light hearted about the situation, Kensi knew they had to get the weapons before whoever this Matt Graham was, or people would die.

They had all arrived at ops, settling into paperwork, waiting on the news from Eric and Nell, hoping they would find some electronic leads because the ones they were chasing were getting them no where.

"I'm going to the gym." Kensi said after ten minutes, snapping her laptop closed, she was feeling annoyed at the lack of leads, and she had to do something.

"I think I'll join you." Callen said, looking at Sam. "Rematch from earlier?" Sam nodded with a smile, closing his laptop and following them from the bullpen towards the gym.

* * *

Mark Campbell found himself alone, finishing his reports, which he did in meticulous detail. Much to the annoyance of Kensi when he would write every single word she said during arrests and chases, including the numerous expletives. Kensi was glad that Hetty would redact quiet a bit from his files before they were locked away.

It had been fifteen minutes since they had made their way to the gym and Mark had finished his work, he was about to head to the gym when he heard a phone ringing. Realising it was coming from Kensi's desk drawer he debated with himself, before pulling it open and answering it.

"Hello?" unsure if he should identify himself.

"This is Dia from the Cafe. They are here." she was whispering and he could he the clashing of plates in the background, and shouting. "I'm sitting in the kitchen now, I didn't want them to know I called the cops." Mark suddenly had an idea that he would prove himself to the team. Grabbing the keys to Kensi's car that had sat beside the phone, hoping she wouldn't kill him for driving it without permission.

"Dia. Act normal and serve them as you normally would and don't stop them from leaving. We will deal with the rest."


	6. Chapter 6

Mark Campbell found himself sitting in the car park of the cafe, watching with eager eyes to see if he could spot the mysterious Matt Graham. He had the camera in has hand, ready to take some pictures and hopefully impress those back at ops. He was having second thoughts about his current career path. He woke up each day in a cold sweat, hoping it would be a quiet day of form filling. He spent more time writing reports than he ever had before, because the more time he spent on his reports, the less action he saw. When Kensi's phone rang he made a split second decision, he decided to make a go of it, try one last op. If he was able to successfully get the images, he would stay with NCIS, giving himself a little longer to try it out. If something went wrong, he would hand in his papers and see if he could get an office job back with the FBI. The sound of a door closing snapped him from his thoughts and he spotted the leader of The Seven Ruins exiting the cafe. He snapped a few pictures of him, and then a few of his car and license plate. Breathing a sigh of relief when he drove off without giving a glance at the car or the agent. Mark turned his focus back to the front door, waiting for the big catch.

A man with shaggy blonde hair, in a striking suit made his way out of the building and Mark couldn't help but feel there was something familiar about him. He snapped a few pictures, suddenly realising that the man was staring at him with confusion written on his face. Mark gave it a few seconds, pretending to be engrossed in his phone. He looked back up to see Matt Graham stalking towards him with a look of anger, the expression striking fear into the young agents soul.

"Can I help you?" The blonde man asked, taking a look in the back of his car. Mark was trying to work out the man's angle. Trying to understand why he was so focused on him, he thought he had been discreet.

Deeks was panicking, a stranger had Kensi's car and was now stalking him. He fought the urge to ignore all protocol and punch hell out of this guy then get in his car and drive to wherever Kensi was. Instead, he calmed himself, and he decided to find out who this man was.

"Who the hell are you?" He was now leaning in the car, both arms leaning against the window, knowing his gun was seen by the man in the car, but out of reach.

"Um, I'm F.B, I mean, NCIS Agent Campbell." He was surprised when the man laughed, he must have clocked the confused expression on his face because he continued his questioning.

"Why are NCIS following me?" He asked, he seemed genuinely concerned and it shocked the agent.

"Why don't we discuss that back at the office?" Mark said, suddenly remembering Sam's demands that he be more assertive in the field.

The suited man stood back from the car and laughed, clearly debating something in his mind.

Deeks thought this was a way of getting to see Kensi that wasn't breaking protocol and there would be nothing LAPD or NCIS could do about it.

"Sure, why not, but someone drives me back to my car." With the deal agreed, Mark was a little stunned when the man jumped in the passenger side, flicking on the radio like he was completely comfortable. He pressed number 4 on the radio and settled back with his eyes closed as though he knew what the station would be. He reached out and patted the dashboard once and smiled. Turning to face the young agent, he looked at him with confusion. Mark suddenly realised he should drive, turning the key, the engine roared to life and they pulled away.

* * *

They had been driving for ten minutes and the shaggy haired man finally spoke.

"So where is your partner?" Mark remained silent for a moment, ignoring the question, but the questions kept coming. "Do you not have a partner? Not play well with others?" he smirked.

"I have a partner. Sort of." Mark answered, technically Agent Blye was his partner but she tended to go with Sam and Callen if she could, not trusting him in the field. After today's exploits he could see why. He had potentially ruined the entire case.

"What's your partner like?" To Mark, it appeared as though Matt Graham was genuinely interested in his partner.

"She is really scary." He said it without thinking, suddenly wishing to eat his words back up. The man in his passenger seat burst into more laughter. Agent Campbell didn't think that weapons dealers were as happy as this one but what did he know he thought. "Um, I mean, she is intense. Highly skilled. Intense." Deeks smiled at the agent trying to describe Kensi. He prodded some more, eager to hear anything about his partner.

"You said intense twice. She pretty?" The agent looked flustered, only giving Deeks more reason to smile. "Yeah, I guess, I mean I have a fiancé so I'm not exactly... um Agent Blye is stunning." he was flustered but for some reason couldn't help but talk away to the man beside him. "She is so closed off though, I doubt she'll ever have a relationship." Deeks let out a burst of air, his hands running through his hair. Kensi's actions meant no one at work knew about their relationship status. He had discussed it with her and agreed they should tell them together, that he really wanted to be there. He hadn't expected her to have to keep it a secret when he was away, and would never have thought bad of her for telling the team. It must be tearing her up inside, and it broke his heart to imagine Kensi trying to act like nothing was wrong all day. In the seven, almost eight weeks he had been gone he had not wanted to hug her as much as he had in that moment.

The rest of the journey was covered in silence, finally they pulled up at the boatshed and he had hoped that Agent Blye had received the text he sent when he picked up Matt Graham. He had hoped she would be at the boatshed before he was. The parking lot was empty, so he nervously stepped out and led Matt Graham inside.

* * *

Deeks found himself sat in the familiar room, only this time on the wrong side of the table. He thought back to how confused Kensi must have been when she found herself here, only she wasn't undercover. She was accused for real. He sat for ten minutes, knowing that the young agent was on the other side of the door. He wondered why he was taking so long to interview him and then he realised, he was waiting on Kensi.

He heard a door slamming and footsteps move towards the centre of the boatshed.

"What. The. Hell. Happened?" It was Kensi's voice and she was angry Deeks thought, and not just stole the last twinkie angry, more 'didnt take the shot' angry. "Well?" she yelled. He moved towards the door eager to hear the entire conversation. Just to ear Kensi speak.

"You realise that you invaded my privacy by going into my desk, then you answer my phone. A phone which could easily have been a cover phone and you could have blown any operation? Then you steal my car, go and stalk a suspect. One which, had you came and told us about, we would have tracked, used a gps tagger on his car and then followed him to the deal. We might have lost the weapons. Not only that but its my job to protect you and you went in alone. You could have died and I will not lose another partner, even if you are only here for a short time."

Deeks could punch the agent himself, working Kensi up like that but he knew she could deal with anything, so he made his way back to the chair and gave her room to calm down. His heart fluttered when he finally heard her say.

"Which room?"

She walked into the room with her eyes closed shaking her head at the scenario that had just played out. When she opened her eyes and automatically started introducing herself she found her words caught in her mouth as it fell open.

"So Mr. Matt Graham." She said, smiling so wide that her cheeks hurt, her stomach filled with butterflies and the urge to kiss him overwhelming her. Forgetting everything that had just happened, and all the emotions it had churned up.

"Agent Kensi Blye." he said back, playing along but his voice was too soft and she could see that he was feeling the exact same emotions as she was. He couldn't take it any longer and stood up, backing her towards the wall, she felt herself come in contact with the wall and relaxed into it, his face almost touching hers and their heavy breaths between them. "I've missed you so much Kensi." the words were spoken with a reverence, but she didn't have time to reply before his lips found hers and they were saying what they felt with actions, neither quite able to believe how their day turned out.

In the main room of the boatshed, Mark watched nervously as Matt stood up, backing Agent Blye into a corner, the camera was at an awkward angle and he had her backed against the wall, he could see his arms were up but the image cut off everything above his shoulders and he panicked, unable to make out the whole scene he thought she was in trouble, suddenly remembering the gun that he had flashed back at the cafe. He saw on the outside monitors that the challenger had just driven up. He ran out and screamed for them that Kensi was in danger. The abandoned their car, the doors open wide, and ran past him, he pointed to the room as they saw it themselves on the monitor. She was pushed against the wall and he had her pinned down. Sam ran at the door, knocking it off its hinges, sending the three of the crashing to the floor.

"That happy to see me Sam?" Deeks asked, he was the first to recover from the sudden scene that just played out, laughing when he saw the realisation cross over Sam's face. He expected a smile, a handshake, maybe even a fist bump. What he didn't expect was his friend to stand up, pick him up and hug him tight. Callen and Mark where now in the room, Mark looking like he was about to pass out and Callen laughing at Deeks legs now inches from the ground. Callen walked over as Sam set him back down. Deeks reached out for a handshake and was pulled in for another hug.

"Damn. I'm feeling the love in here tonight. You want in Mark?" He opened his arms jokingly, Mark had finally recognised him.

"I knew you looked familiar. The picture on Kensi's desk, your head is down so I never had a proper look."

"Kensi has a picture of me on her desk." he laughed at her and she shot daggers at the young agent, who physically jumped back in reaction to the look, her face softened instantly when Deeks gave her a small kiss on the cheek, whispering about how cute she was.


	7. Chapter 7

The small group made their way back into the main area of the boat shed, Kensi, Deeks and Sam brushing off the dust that had settled on their clothes. Sam pulled the door off the floor, and sat it up against the wall, swearing internally as he now realised he was going to have to explain to Hetty how he smashed the door down, hoping the distraction of Deeks would be enough to lessen her rage.

"So how many undercover ops have you been on since you left?" Callen asked, eager to see how his friend was getting on.

"Two. First one was the Max Gentry case." Kensi moved even closer to him, hating even the mention of that name. "Second one is Matt Graham. Apparently they have been running this one for months and thought they may as well use me on it."

The team began to move towards the table, ready to hear more but they didn't have time to speak before the monitor switched between the interrogation rooms and ops.

"Deeks!" Nell yelled, moving out of frame before he could respond. "Eric. No just leave it, come here." The boat shed was filled with laughter as they heard an off screen Nell trying to get Eric to stop whatever he was doing and join her at the monitor. They eventually saw him being dragged into shot by an exasperated looking Nell.

"Oh my god, Deeks, How are you?" Eric asked, understanding instantly why she was so desperate to get him over to the monitor. Deeks moved forward, giving himself a better view of the screen. Kensi moving in perfect sync with him, neither of them noticing, but both of them craving the closeness.

"Good. Better now that I've seen everyone. I'm going to head straight over to ops. Catch up soon?" With a nod they had disconnected the feed from the boat shed to OSP, probably away to inform Hetty of the sudden change, although no one doubted she was already aware.

"Before we leave I need to say something." Kensi said, her voice low, and unusually monotonous. Deeks recognised it as the voice she used when she was having difficulty keeping her emotions in check. He debated giving her hand a squeeze of support, but stopped himself. Knowing that it would only make it harder for her.

"Mark. What you did today was irresponsible, stupid and put hundreds of lives in danger. You put your own life in danger, as well as jeopardising the case. Marty could have di-" her voice broke slightly and she didn't finish her thought. Sam and Callen tried to hide their shock as she referred to him as Marty, they knew they were together but somehow hearing her call him by his first name confirmed it. Kensi took a breathe before continuing. "If it wasn't Deeks in that cafe, you could have been killed and I_ will not _lose another partner."

"I'm so sorry." Mark responded, it was honest but he knew it wasn't enough. Sam had told him a little of Kensi's past on a stake out one night and he understood her need to protect her partners. He put out his hand for a handshake, surprised when it was Deeks that grabbed it.

"No worries man, let's head back to ops." Deeks could sense his girlfriend was still angry and needed space, he was also keen to get back to the familiar office space and catch up with his friends.

"Nell gave me a loan of her car to get over here." Kensi said, suddenly realising she now had two cars to get back to ops.

"It's fine Kensi, I'll drive that back with Mark. Sam will take the challenger." Callen directed, shooting a coy smile at the couple in front of him, he caught the keys she threw at him and Mark returned the gesture to her, making no mention that he still had her keys. Kensi started to exit the boat shed when she heard Deeks voice.

"Who am I supposed to go with?" Deeks asked, as innocently as he could. Finding his question answered by a roll of her eyes and a slight smile playing at Kensi's lips, he ran after her giving a wave to his team.

The team were quickly at their backs and yelled their goodbyes as they each jumped into their own rides. Deeks settled into the familiar passenger seat and sat smiling at Kensi, she was walking around her car, checking for scratches no doubt. Quickly jumping in and joining her partner.

When they were alone in the car, Kensi watched in silence as the other two cars pulled away. Her hands were looped around his, tighter than necessarily comfortable, but he had no intention of moving her, needing the connection as much as she did. He wanted to speak but he could sense she needed a little space. He held her hand and waited.

"I'm happy you're back, even if it's only for a little while, and, I'm glad you are staying safe." Her eyes never looked at his, never leaving the steering wheel in front of her. He could see her jaw was clenched and it was obvious she was trying to tell him how she felt but it was Kensi and it was difficult for her, he reached across the car, giving her a small but reassuring kiss, letting her know he got what she was trying to say.

"I've got something to come back to this time." A small blush rose over her cheeks and she removed her hands from his, put the key in the ignition and drove off.

"Did you get my note?" Deeks asked, before they had even left the parking lot yet.

"Yeah, why was it so cryptic?" She laughed, feeling a little lighter than she had moments before, turning to look at him for a second before returning her attention to the road in front of her.

"It wasn't cryptic. It was short I guess, but not..." Deeks stuttered, trying to work out why she would see his note as anything less than straight forward.

"Where did you deliver it?" Kensi asked, slamming on the breaks, a bad feeling rising within her. When he didn't answer her straight away and she repeated her question, hurried this time. Her voice wavering, as she tried to remain calm but he could hear the uncertainty in her voice.

"I obviously wasn't going expose OSP to a detective and deliver it there, I sent it to your house." Kensi jumped out of her car, he could see her swing the trunk door open and return quickly with a bag. It was filled with letters and Deeks face must have told her how confused he was.

"Um, this is embarrassing, but I've been living at your house since you left." Deeks smile told her that he didn't think that was embarrassing, instead he thought it was adorable. He had no time to jokingly remark about how much of a softy Kensi Blye really was because she was throwing letter after letter over her shoulder, caught in her own world, before finally finding Deeks familiar handwriting. She ripped it open and began to read aloud.

_Kensi, _

_This letter will be short and I'm sorry. I finished my first op and got out safe. They won't let me come home for a few days but I really want to. _

_I hope I'll get to see you soon. I miss having my partner with me in the field._

_I miss you so much. _

_Deeks._

"Crap." she whispered. Deeks was trying to work out what was wrong with his note. He didn't have much time to over analyse it before she explained.

"This is the first time I've read this. Someone has been sending me roses, under the name of Fern, to _your_ address. I thought it was you. The first one said something like, 'Its finished, sights are set on you.' or something like that." He could see she was panicking.

"We need to get to ops." He said, taking the bag from her lap. She pulled away at high speed, eager to get back to her team and the safety of OSP.

When they pulled in to the parking lot, he was still trying to reassure her that everything was fine, she eventually snapped and turned to him, fury in her eyes but he soon realised the anger was directed at herself.

"Deeks, I might have put you in danger by living at your house. If they know _Fern_, they know you. Don't tell me that's okay."


	8. Chapter 8

Kensi and Deeks, despite hanging back for a while at the boat shed, managed to make it to the base before the others. The journey over had been in scared silence, but his hand had been on hers the entire time. She slammed the door closed and knew that Deeks was right behind her. Making their way inside they found Hetty standing waiting on them in the middle of the room.

"Mr. Deeks. It is so good to see you." The small but powerful woman stood back, taking in her liaison, a smile pulling at her face, her spoken sentiment obviously being true. Their reunion was interrupted when the doors opened and the rest of the team made their way in. "Everyone to ops, please."

"Um, Hetty can we maybe have a conversation with you?" Deeks asked, suddenly nervous.

"Mr. Deeks. I am well aware of you and Miss. Blye's relationship, and while I do wish to speak to you both regarding that we have a case that is far more urgent."

"It's not about that Hetty."

Kensi felt a blush rise up her cheeks, she had spent so long hiding the relationship. Pretending that she missed her work partner, not that she missed her boyfriend. She had to admit, it was a little infuriating that it had all been for nothing, and she felt like a bit of a fool.

"Everyone to ops." she repeated but made her way towards her desk, gesturing for the couple to follow her. She sat and poured herself a cup of tea. "Azores Jasmine Green Tea?" she asked, their faces telling her no but she prompted further. "Imported from the Azore Islands off the coast of Portugal."

They quickly gave their heads a shake, keen for their boss to be aware of the mysterious messages. She sensed their urgency and sat back in silence, waiting for them to speak.

"Hetty. Someone has been sending me messages. I thought they were from Deeks but he has no idea who is sending." Hetty nodded once, thinking over her next course of action.

"These messages; what do they say?"

Kensi explained the words used and how they had always arrived with a single red rose, delivered in a pristine white box. Hetty seemed to be deep in thought for a moment.

"Your home is no longer safe Miss. Blye."

"They weren't delivered to my house." she said awkwardly her voice trailing off at the end of her sentence, her face blushing once more, hating the emotions that were rising within her today. She paused, seeing Deeks smile at her as she shifted uncomfortably and she swore she would get him back if he dared say she was adorable once more. "I've been living at Deeks house since he returned to LAPD."

"Ahh. Now that is something I wish I had known. I like to know where my agents are living at all times." She took a look at the agents, smiling at the obvious love between them, deciding to let Kensi off the hook for the moment, but making a note to have her go to the four day personal safety seminar, known over the entire spectrum of law enforcement as one of the most boring training seminars known to man. A good enough punishment she felt. "We will go to ops, and we will brief you both on the changes to the Matt Graham case. Then you will go home, slip the roses into evidence bags, hiding them in your bag. Then take them and Monty for a walk. You will then walk to a location where someone will pick you up. Mr. Deeks home has been compromised."

They both gave Hetty a nod and led the way to ops.

As they entered the small but bustling room, they were met with a practically bouncing Nell. She stood staring at him until he opened his arms and she ran into them.

"How you been Velma?" she smiled at him, pleased to see her friend safe.

"I've been really good." She said, she didn't have time to say much else because Eric was over and shaking hands with Deeks and it quickly turned into a hug.

"Ahem..." the small cough coming from the boss. "Before we get started we have one important thing to discuss." They all looked at her expectantly. Kensi and Deeks both assuming the team would be informed of the mysterious secret admirer. "Who wins the money? I'll be damned if Owen Granger gets it."

The room burst into laughter at the couple. Deeks smiling like a kid at Christmas, realising they'd had a bet on their relationship. Kensi stood at his side, biting at her cheeks, trying to control to smile that rose within her.

Callen was the first to get his laughter under control.

"Technically Granger said it would be a member of the team would force them to admit it, Mark forced them to tell us. Granger wins the $125.

"Bugger." Hetty responded, but with a smile. "Mr. Campbell, you and I need to have words once this over. You too Mr. Hanna." He was biting his cheeks and looked more and more nervous as the briefing went on. Sam just smiled back, knowing she wouldn't be too hard on him. "Miss. Jones." Hetty ordered and with that, they were all back in a more serious mood. Ready to take on the case.

* * *

"Matt Graham, wanted weapons dealer is in fact one Martin Deeks." Sam and Callen started clapping in mock celebration of his work. He waved them off as though it was nothing. "Due to the 'egregious' way in which Deeks was removed from NCIS and returned to LAPD – and those are the words of the Chief of Police – NCIS has been given permission to run this particular mission. The Chief of Police is keen to continue positive relations with us. Matt Graham, and his wife Samantha." Kensi glared at the screen wondering why the mission was changed, and who his wife was. Then she spotted the picture, on the screen she saw her own image staring back at her. "Samantha returned from a trip to Italy, that is why she has been absent for the past few meetings. Matt Graham uses the same team to bring in the goods. Wendell Roberts and Dave Brigton. The images of Sam and Callen now appeared on the screen. It is your job to ensure the weapons remain under your care." She aimed her words at Sam and Callen who gave nod to show their understanding. "Deeks and Kensi, it is your job to ensure the capture of the leaders of the seven ruins."

"Mr. Deeks, you and Miss. Blye will be returning to your cover home tonight but first we must sort out our little issue." She turned her attention to the other partnership in the room.

"Kensi has been receiving messages which we now believe may be threatening." She didn't pause to take in the shocked and concerned faces, instead she pushed on. "Mr. Hanna you will drive her to Mr. Deeks home, she will go inside, do what we have discussed and you will drive away. Callen you will wait at the dog park, where you will pick her up no more than twenty minutes later and return her to ops. After that I will send them back to the LAPD mission and both of you will search Mr. Deeks apartment for any clues."

Her team gave her looks that assured her they knew what had to be done, even if they didn't have all the information yet and she walked back to her desk. Sipping her cup she watched as a flurry of action took place. Deeks walked towards her and she had figured he would want to talk as he had no role to play until further that evening, but she had expected him to wait until the others had left.

He sat in the chair in silence, as she watched the other three members of her elite team leave the building, the door closing behind them. It was a few minutes before she returned her cup to it's saucer and looked at him.

"What can I do for you?"

"How is she getting on?" his voice was flat, trying to cover the worry he had been allowing to build up over the past seven weeks.

"I'm sorry?" She asked, but he knew that she was aware of the implications of his question.

"Is she doing okay, coming into work looking well rested, eating well." He wasn't sure were his questioning would lead but he hadn't expected a smile to rise on his bosses face.

"Miss. Blye is an exceptional agent, and while I am sure you are both dealing with the events of the past, she is doing well. I think her main concern is how you are doing without her. Trust her Deeks, she can cope."

"Oh I know she can and I trust her more than anyone else."

"Good." she replied firmly, before leaning across and taking his hand in hers. "Cherish each other, Mr. Deeks. Don't let the job, or the past, come between you." He could see a hint of sadness in her eyes, memories were clearly bubbling to the surface as they spoke but her pat to his hand had signalled that their conversation was over. He rose slowly, shooting a smile at his boss who somehow seemed a little more human.

Deeks made his way up to ops to catch up with his friends, waiting on news from the rest of his team.


	9. Chapter 9

Deeks took the stairs two at a time, heading towards ops, Hetty sat back and wordlessly watched until he had disappeared from view. After a moment, she motioned for Mark to move towards her, he abruptly stopped the incessant tapping he had been doing on the desk and made his way slowly towards her. She gave him time to sit, pouring two cups of tea, finally handing one over and beginning their impromptu meeting.

"Mark." She began, taking in the man before her, her hands finding the other and clasping them in front of her, before gently placing them on the desk. "How are you?" Her voice soft, and a kindness evident in her often dark eyes.

"I'm sorry. For everything." His voice low and his fingers were wrapping tight around the edge of his suit jacket. His eyes darting anywhere but at the woman in front of him. Giving the impression of a child in the principals office, rather than a federal agent in a meeting.

"That is not what I meant." She replied once more, before leaning back in her chair, eyeing him curiously. She had personally requested him to join her team, but not because she thought he would make a great agent, in fact, it had been the opposite reason. "Your mother would be proud of you even if you do not follow in her footsteps. You know that?"

Mark replied with a solemn nod to the woman he considered an aunt, not entirely believing her words. He finally made eye contact with her and he could see she wasn't lying.

His mother and Hetty had trained together, working as on and off partners well after splitting into different agencies. That last mission in Belarus, it was supposed to be a simple job, yet it had ended his mothers life, and was Hetty Lange's last official field op.

"I have told you many times what Anne said to me back then, and I'm telling you it again now. 'Make sure my boy is safe, and happy.' I want to make sure my friends wishes are honoured."

He smiled at the bitter sweet memory that was taking over, the memory of being sat down at the age of sixteen by his Aunt Hetty, and told the story of how his mother died. He had never been spoken to the way she spoke to him that night. She treated him like he was brave enough to know the entire truth. He remembered being sat down in his fathers study while his Aunt poured him a glass of whisky, his first drink. They sat for a few minutes as he felt the burn of the liquid slowly course through him, enjoying the effects even if the taste wasn't what he had expected. When she finally broke the silence, he felt like for the first time in his life, he was being treated like an adult.

"That mission, all those years ago. You are ready to know what happened. Your mother died with honour. It is of no comfort to you or I that she died bravely, the grief is too much to care why she died. I lost a dear friend, one of the few people in this world that I truly trusted. You lost a mother. Your source of strength, your caregiver, and that is a wound that I won't lie to you about, it will not heal. You will move on, but it will not heal."

The silence that had enveloped them once more back in that study had been heavy and tense and he had debated asking for the details of the mission that killed his mother, not sure if he wanted to hear it. As though she could read his mind she started speaking again, but it was as though she wasn't talking to him, as though she was relieving the mission alone.

"Five day mission. Retrieve the intel, get our operative, get out. Nothing we hadn't done before. Your mother and I, we got into the house in four minutes. Retrieved the data and were leaving when a man appeared. He was holding Richard Glacard. Our field agent in Belarus. We drew our guns and the man laughed. Our weapons fired at the same time and your mother took the shot just as he was about to kill Richard. Instead as he fell his hand was pulling the trigger, and the bullet hit your mother. We got her out, but it will haunt me till the day I die that I never saved her. We were driving to the hospital, she lay across me in the back of the car as Richard sped through the city. Ann told me to keep you safe, and make sure you are always happy. We were ten minutes out from the hospital when I knew there was nothing we could do. But we brought her home, and I will make good on my promise."

Mark blinked and took in his surroundings, he was sat in front of a much older Hetty, and at NCIS headquarters in Los Angeles but he still felt like the little boy back in that room all those years ago. Hetty had brewed some more tea, she was allowing him time with his memories. When she saw in his now calm eyes, that he was back with her she reached forward and offered him a piece of paper.

"Mark, your mother will be proud of you whether you are working here, or doing something else. As long as you are happy." Relief poured over him, and he felt like he had be released from a prison. He took the papers in front of him, resignation papers. Effective immediately. He signed them and handed them back with a genuine smile. He felt lighter than he had in years.

"So what are you going to do Mark?" Hetty asked, seeing a brightness in his eyes that had been missing since he was a teenager.

"Might open a little food truck, you always enjoy my cooking. Who knows, futures bright Aunt Hetty."

"Bright indeed Mark. I'll pop by and visit you and the lucky young lady that has won your heart this weekend." They stood and he felt awkward for a moment, then realising that he no longer worked there, he moved around the table, hugging his Aunt tight, promising to buy some nice tea for her visit.

* * *

Meanwhile Kensi was just arriving at her house. She quickly correcting her mental slip, Deeks house. She slipped the comm into her ear before slipping out of the car, swinging the gym bag over her shoulder.

"See you back at ops." she smiled to Sam who was sporting a serious expression. He replied only with a nod and she gave the roof of his car a tap, signalling she was good to go and he could leave. Her eyes darted around her as she walked up the path towards his door. Her key scraped in the lock and she heard the familiar patter of paws bound towards the door.

Monty ran around Kensi almost tripping her up, he did this nightly, always excited to see her. She walked by him, ignoring the dog, which only got him more excited because he couldn't understand why he wasn't getting his usual ear scratch. She pulled her gun from her back and crept towards the bedroom door, she flung it open to find only the mess she had left it in that morning. Giving the en-suite a search she sighed in relief when that too was clear. Making her way back out she reached for the door to the closet, almost tripping over a now very excited Monty, Kensi put her hand out flat and then swung it down fast, a signal Deeks had taught her before he left. Monty stopped following her and lay down instantly at the gesture. She made quick work of the rest of the house. When she was sure it was clear and there was no intruder, she slipped the gun back into place and bent down and give the patient dog the attention he was looking for. Scratching behind his ear, he rolled onto his back and she cooed at him.

"Hey boy, did you miss me?"

"You know I did." She smiled at the flirting voice in her ear and she rolled her eyes. A little embarrassed that all of ops had heard her cooing to her dog.

"House is clear." Kensi informed Deeks quickly, eager now to see him rather than just speak to him, She stood smiling as Monty made his way over to his leash. He was in as much of a routine as she was. "I'm going to grab a few things before I leave and then I'll meet Callen."

"Be careful Kens'." Deeks spoke and she smiled at how genuine his words sounded. She heard the small click and knew they had been disconnected, she slipped the small white device out from her ear and into her pocket, taking in the living room properly for the first time in weeks.

Her clothes were strewn across the sofa, four or five pizza boxes were scattered throughout the room and the coffee table couldn't be seen beneath the pile of magazines, mail and the offending white boxes that hid the rose inside. A quick glance at her watch told her she had twenty minutes to meet Callen or they would come for her. Sighing she grabbed the roses and placed them into the evidence bags before slipping them into her bag. Then the real work began. She ran around with a bag, throwing all the trash into it. Then grabbing piles of clothes, she threw them into the hamper. The living room still looked messier than when Deeks was here, but it was acceptable so she made her way into the bedroom. As she made the bed she tried not to think about Sam and Callen searching through the bedroom that her and Deeks now shared. Grabbing some of the things she would need, she placed them in a large garbage bag, and placed that on the bed. Sam and Callen had promised to bring it to her. Checking her watch once more she realised that she better leave before she missed her meet.

Locking up she felt a little emotional. This house was a place that her demons rarely manage to invade and she was being forced out by someone she didn't know. Her hand wrapped around the leash and she walked away without a backwards glance at her safe haven.

* * *

She arrived two minutes before the agreed time and she spotted Callen's car across the other side of the dog park, she made no motion to show she saw him, and neither did he. She stood with Monty, allowing him to do his business. Chatting with some of the regulars she had gotten to know since moving into Deeks house. Miss. Roberson was making her way towards Kensi and Monty, a smile playing on her face.

"You are late today." She said with a small laugh, Kensi smiled at her, trying not to grimace, knowing Sam would be lecturing her if he found out how much of a routine she had allowed herself to fall into.

"Got caught up at work. You know how it is." she politely answered.

"Someone was here looking for you about an hour ago." Kensi fought to keep calm, anger rising that someone had been observing her so closely that they knew the time she walked Monty.

"Did they say who they were? What did they look like?"

"No, just asked to tell you they'd catch you soon and they were sorry they didn't see you today. About 6 foot tall and white. I'm sorry sweetie I wasn't really paying attention." With a stiff smile Kensi made her apologies and whistled for Monty who quickly fell into step with her, walking towards Callen's car she vowed to herself that she would find out who this was and make them pay.

Opening the back door she let Monty jump inside before throwing her bag in after him. Climbing into the front seat she turned to her friend and whispered.

"Someone was waiting for me here earlier today." Callen said nothing, his eyebrows furrowing was the only sign he had heard her. They sped away from the park, towards the mission, Callen taking wild turns to ensure they weren't followed.

Someone was hunting Kensi. Callen didn't intend to make it easier for them.


	10. Chapter 10

Everyone had returned to ops and were eager to find something to do, unfortunately, they didn't have much to go on, so Nell and Eric were the only ones actively doing something. They were searching for cameras around the park, looking for a potential image of the man that had been stalking Kensi.

Kensi and Deeks both stood behind the table, their fingers entwined below it, the small touch helping both of them stay calm.

"Guys, all cameras around the park seem to have been cut for the past week. We've got nothing." Nell said, her eyes downcast, feeling as though there was more she could have done for her friends.

"It's okay, Nell." Kensi smiled at her, knowing they had more important stuff to be doing. "I'm away from that house, and they don't know where I am. I'll do this op with Deeks and we will deal with it later." Hetty had walked into the room at that point.

"Correct Miss. Blye. If you could make your way to wardrobe and pick up your things, and then you and Mr. Deeks can take the files on my desk and head back to the house he was living in. Mr. Deeks I had someone return your car here, it is in the parking lot. In the meantime Mr. Callen and Mr. Hanna, you will go and search Mr. Deeks apartment, I want the outside searched too, and ask neighbours if they have seen anything suspicious." She looked around at her team who were waiting to see if she had any more orders. "Go." She said with finality, letting them know this meeting was over. They all took off in different directions at once, ready to get their work done.

Kensi's made her way down the steps, her eyes lighting up when she spotted the small suitcase and matching handbag that sat on top of the table in the wardrobe department.

"It's the new Yves Saint Lauren set. It's so beautiful." She muttered to herself, quickly closing the distance between her and the expensive cases. She unzipped the grey fabric and found a weeks worth of stunning designer clothes inside. Kensi enjoyed reading magazines with luxurious clothes on each page that she knew that she would never be able to afford on her small budget, nor would she have a chance to wear it, so she planned on making the most of this suitcase. She found herself a loose black top, comfortable skinny jeans and a pair of flats to wear. The house could be under surveillance and she had to look like she had just stepped off a plane from Italy, so smart casual worked best. Exiting the changing room she spotted Deeks slipping all their documents from Hetty's desk into his own briefcase, finding herself smile at the image of him back in ops. The eight weeks had felt so much longer, and she knew after this operation she would have to say goodbye again. Pushing those thoughts aside she zipped up her luggage and made her way over, joining him and their boss at her desk.

"Please sit." Hetty said, before making her way around and sitting in her own chair. She had a small smile on her face as she began to speak. "It is at this point that I would normally give you a little talk, about professional boundaries and the difficulties of working undercover with your partner and the emotions that can be brought to the surface due to such cases. I think we are all aware how redundant that would be." They smiled, trying not to laugh, not needing to look at each other to know their expression was mirrored. "I do need you to remember that in this scenario, you are agents first. When you both return from the operation there will be a few forms to fill in. The handbook also states that you will have to attend a few classes on appropriate behaviour in the work place" They gave a questioning look but she had thrown her hands up in defence, unable to do a thing about the rules. She looked at them expectantly, waiting on a response, and with a sigh they gave their murmured agreements to Hetty and she smiled at them both, she stole a look at them before leaning forward once more. "I speak to you now as a friend. I am very happy you finally saw what was in front of you all these years. Good luck."

With that they were dismissed.

They made their way from ops looking like a pair of millionaires, heading towards his car. They had barely left the building, when Deeks swung his arm around his girlfriend. "Just keeping up appearances princess." She gave him a laugh and a small dig in the ribs but made no move to pull away, thinking about how nice it felt to be in his arms again, as she sunk closer to him. When they had gone under as Justin and Melissa she had secretly loved these little touches, she had actually found it harder pretending to hate them. When they had reached the car he took the luggage from her and placed it into the trunk, before pressing her up against the car for a kiss. She knew she should pull away, she was at work, people might see. Eight weeks of panic and dread stopped her from caring and her hands found his hair as their kiss became more eager by the second.

"They look so cute don't they?" Nell asked, watching her friends on the security cameras. Eric give an awkward nod and then started to blush at the sight of his friends now kissing, rather passionately up against the car. "Wow. Okay." Nell said as she quickly turned off the screen, finding her face starting to blush just as bright as Eric's. Saved by the bell she thought as the phone rang out, pressing the small device in her ear on, she gave a cheery hello.

"Nell, we are just pulling up at Deeks house, can you look at cameras around the area, see if there have been any cars hanging around lately?"

"Sure. Call you if we get anything." The call disconnected.

"This feels weird." Sam said, knowing he would hate to have his team rummage around his house.

"Just imagine it's a case Sam, don't think of it as Deeks place." He turned his back on his partner and unlocked the door, pushing it open and making their way inside. The place was a little messy and a wordless look between them both said 'Kensi'. "I'll take the kitchen and living room. You take the bedroom and bathroom." Sam considered arguing it, really not wanting to go into their bedroom, but decided to just get on with it. Sliding on the gloves he started searching for anything that seemed out of place.

The windows seemed to be sealed and locked, with no sign that anyone had tried to tamper with it. When Sam was sure that everything seemed in order he grabbed the bag she had left for them to deliver to hers and made his way to catch up with Callen.

"Anything?" He asked, a shake of Callen's head told him that they had no new leads.

"You got the stuff Kensi asked you to pick up?" Sam threw the bag at his partner before grabbing the rest of Monty's things that sat at the door. They took the stuff to their car before asking around. In the first four houses they asked about Kensi and |Deeks, no one had seen a thing. They were either out of the house all day working, didn't see anything or said they didn't speak English. They didn't expect the neighbours to be forthcoming, people rarely opened up to anyone flashing a badge. It was the fifth door they knocked on that finally gave them the hope of a new lead. A tired woman opened the door, a small baby on her hip and a messy, laughing toddler running around her feet. They flashed their badge and Callen started with the same question he had asked the other neighbours, not expecting anything useful.

"Ma'am, we were wondering if you have seen anything suspicious lately regarding house number 1894."

"Marty's house?" They were surprised when she knew of Deeks. "He hasn't been around in weeks, his girlfriend lives in his house now though. Is she okay?" They nodded quickly, assuring the slightly panicked woman that Kensi was okay. "I've actually got a package that was delivered when she was out, if you want to come and get it?" She let them pass by and closed the door, following them into the living room. She moved some toys out of the way and gestured for them to sit on the sofa. The woman's hair was pulled up in a messy bun and she had bags under her eyes, and Sam noticed she favoured her left arm, as though she had some permanent damage to the right one. The toddler had made her way onto the sofa and sat smiling at Callen as she began colouring in her book but the baby had started crying while her mum muttered about the box being around somewhere.

Sam reached across and took the baby, pulling silly faces and quickly calming the child, she shot him a small smile and a look of realisation crossed her face and she left the room. She returned moments later with a small white box.

"It arrived yesterday, they asked if I would make sure that it was delivered. I forgot all about it." Callen snapped on some gloves and took the box from her, opening it to find another wilting rose and a small note.

"_Kensi, sorry I missed you today, but rest easy, we will meet soon."_

"Can you describe the person who delivered this?" Callen pushed, a slight panic in his voice that his friend may be in serious danger.

"Um sure.." she said trying to bring back the memories from a few days before. "He was tall, average build, bearded, um white, brown eyes." she glanced at them and realised she had described millions of men. "I'm sorry he didn't have any marks or anything. Is Marty okay?"

"Yeah he's fine. We just need to know where these boxes are coming from."

"Can you tell him I said hello, he helped me a lot, the kids dad, well, he wasn't the kindest of men and Marty made sure he got locked up and signed all rights to me. I'd probably be dead without him..." Her voice trailed off and she seemed to shudder as though reliving some event from her past.

The two agents shared a look. Deeks was the kind of man that would help others, they knew a little of his past and violence against kids and woman was a sore topic for him.

"We will let him know." They promised and made their way out of the house.

"What if the guy comes back?" Her small voice asked as the reached her hallway. Callen suddenly had an idea.

He took a pen from the woman's side table, and a piece of paper from the phone pad.

"Tell them that Marty's friends dropped by and asked you to forward any mail to his new address. Give them this and let them leave." She nodded taking the piece of paper from Callen.

Back in the challenger Sam looked across at his partner. "What address?" it was all he had to ask, he understood his partners plan, set them up, stake out the place, make an arrest.

"Mine." Callen said, pulling away from the street.

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the delay in uploading, writing is still a little difficult at times**.


	11. Chapter 11

The journey to the cover house had been loud, the conversation hadn't lulled once and laughter was a constant companion with them. The radio stayed on a station that blasted out the songs of the top 40 and occasionally one of them would join in the singing. Their hands rarely left each other, Kensi had sat back and was allowing herself to just enjoy being with Deeks as he drove them 'home'. She liked the idea of that. Home. As though reading her mind he gave her hand a gently squeeze before coughing and suddenly sounding unsure of what he was about to say.

"I was thinking, maybe when I get back, we, um, we could look for a place? Together?" They hadn't really been dating very long, but they had been living as though they were together for years.

"I'd like that." Kensi answered, a unusual shyness taking over her body. "I never really left your house anyway." She added with a whisper as a slight blush rose up her cheeks.

"Yeah, about that. My house is a mess isn't it?" She threw her head back as she giggled and didn't try to deny it, or defend herself. Deeks felt like his heart could explode at the sound of her laugh. They drove in a peaceful silence for another few minutes before he noticed that a serious expression had taken over his girlfriends face.

"You okay over there, Fern?" He asked, eyes flickering between the road and the brunette sat beside him.

"I'm fine." His raised eyebrows reminded her that 'fine' wasn't a word they used. "I was just wondering how it's been, you know, undercover, and your nightmares. I didn't want to bring it up though."

"It's been okay. I miss you but I've only really been in one situation that was dangerous, you probably saw more action in the field." He tried to laugh and show that he was telling her the truth, her eyes searched his face, smiling when it was obvious he was telling the truth. She debated for a moment, deciding in the end to pretend she hadn't notice him dodge the question of nightmares. She realised the question would just be thrown back at her anyway so she pushed the conversation on.

"The 'seven ruins' then?"

"Yeah, we are meeting tomorrow to agree on the date and time of the transfer. We are having lunch with the two leaders, a married couple. The file is in the briefcase." He gestured with his head at the leather case that sat at her feet. Deeks reached across, lowering the volume on the radio and concentrating on the road, giving her time to catch up on the case.

They finally pulled up to the grand house, the gate opening for them as the drove inside, allowing the large home to rise in front of them, the house was probably worth more than the both of them would collectively earn in their life times.

"Ready to get started Samantha?"

"Of course, Matt." She reached across giving him a kiss.

They entered the house hand in hand, Deek's carrying the larger of the suitcases, while she grabbed her handbag. The made a show of walking around turning the house lights on, secretly searching for bugs. They couldn't find any, but they knew people could be watching from outside somewhere.

Kensi, now safe in the knowledge that so long as they were in the house, they were safe, grabbed his briefcase, and added the files into the box under the sink. Deeks smiled at the small action, pleased that she knew him so well that he didn't even need to tell her where the rest of the documents where.

"Should we start going over the casefiles?"

"That can wait. I missed you while I was in_ Italy._" she said quietly, starting to undress as she walked away from him. A day before he had been stuck working alone on a munitions deal, now he was back with the love of his life. He tried to get his head around how lucky he had been, before running into the bedroom after her.

When he woke the next morning, Deeks couldn't help but let a small laugh escape when he realised that it hadn't been a dream. He crept out from the bed, placing a small kiss on her head, and climbed into the shower. They still had a few hours to go before they had arranged to meet the leaders of the seven ruins for lunch. When he climbed out of the shower he wasn't surprised to find that Kensi was still fast asleep, she had moved at some point though, managing to take over the entire bed. Closing the bedroom door behind him he found his way to the kitchen, switching on the radio as he got started on breakfast.

Deeks had just had the greatest sleep since he left for the LAPD, and he was in a fantastic mood. Somehow having Kensi beside him seemed to keep him calm, he hadn't asked how her nightmares were going. Not wanting to talk about such things when they had just gotten back together but he made a note to ask how she was getting on, he had noticed she had changed the subject of nightmares as quickly as she brought it up yesterday. The breakfast was finished and he turned to go wake Kensi, jumping when he realised she had been standing in the doorway watching him.

"Like what you see?" He asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively. He hadn't put on his top yet and he could see her staring. She made her way towards him and he closed his eyes leaning in for a kiss. He opened one eye when the kiss never came, finding her laughing, with a mouth full of pancakes. "Tease." He muttered, joining her at the the breakfast bar. Giving him a peck on the cheek she seemed as happy as he did, so he decided against asking her about any nightmares right now.

Deeks mobile rang out, interrupting their moment of perfect domestic bliss.

"Hello."

"Just wanted to make sure we were still up for lunch today?"

"Yeah, my wife landed last night so she is going to join us. I want to meet at the new restaurant that opened on Venice? Samantha has been dying to try it. Still good to meet at two?" Deeks had been told by Kensi that she would be recognised at the Cafe he had dined at the day before, he hoped it wouldn't raise any flags in the Connar's minds.

"Sounds great, I know the new place you mean, see you then Matt."

Kensi had stood, moving closer to lean in and listen to the call. He hung up and spun her round and stole a kiss. He smiled at his small victory, before she pulled him closer, her lips finding his, his body instantly leaning deeper into the kiss.

"I better go shower." she whispered, her lips inches from his.

"Yeah." He breathed back, not moving his hands from her waist. They both felt like they were trapped in a daze. Kensi broke away first, quickly grabbing his hand in hers and pulling him back towards the shower.

An hour later and he stood in the bedroom, trying to chose between two suits. He held up the two towards Kensi. She was drying her hair, she pointed the hairbrush at the light grey suit, mouthing 'no tie' before turning back to the mirror. By the time he was dressed, her hair was finished and she had slipped into a black play-suit, that sat unbelievably high on her legs. She gave a small cough, causing him to realise he had been staring.

"Ready?" she gave a small nod, throwing on her blazer, taking her bag he was now passing to her and following him from the house.

They arrived at the beach front restaurant quickly, and were shown through to the waiting table. The Connar's stood to welcome them, handshakes and pecks on the cheeks as though they were old college friends meeting for lunch, rather than a shady business team making terrible deals.

The majority of the discussion regarding the weapons was taken care of within the first ten minutes. All written down in a rough code and passed back and forth between the couples. With a handshake it was finally agreed upon. They would wait until Friday, that gave them two days. Half the money would be transferred now, the rest the evening of the weapons transfer. Deeks had gotten a notification half way through the main meal, confirming funds had been placed in an offshore account.

Kensi was surprised at how well her and Deeks got on with the couple. They seemed like nice people, laughing as they discussed everything from trash TV, shoes, weapons, the waitresses cute hair and the politics of the middle east.

When the meal was cleared and the couples jokingly fought over who paid, they said their goodbyes. Natalie, the wife of Nick, making Kensi promise that they would do lunch after the meeting. They waved the Connar's off as they found their way back to Deeks car.

"Two days."

She smiled wistfully, knowing he meant two more days of being together.

Two more days before they were going to be torn apart again.


	12. Chapter 12

It had been two days of sheer bliss. After their lunch date with the Connar's they had made their way to ops, updating the team before returning to the cover house as the 'Graham's'. With all the work already prepared during the meeting, they had spent most of the time lying in each others arms. They both noticed that neither of them had prodded deeper than Kensi had in the car on their way to the house that first day. Deeks didn't want to be the one that ruined their domestic heaven that had settled, but he knew he would sleep better for the rest of his time back at the LAPD if he knew, honestly, how she was getting on.

"Kens."

"Yeah?" She murmured in a sleepy voice.

"How have the nightmares been?" He felt her go stiff in his arms, and her breathing quickened. They had been wrapped up watching an old made for TV movie, and she had been drifting in and out of sleep. She thought he was going to ask her what she wanted for dinner so she had been surprised when the conversation turned serious. Pulling herself out of his arms, she sat up beside him, her hands finding her knees, pulling them closer to her chest. Deeks thought she looked the dictionary definition of closed off so he was surprised when after a few minutes she reached a hand out and wrapped her fingers around his.

"Not great. Not terrible." He nodded and gave her hand a kiss, her smile at his gentle actions not managing to reach her eyes. "You know the rule. A story for a story." she could see he wasn't happy with her four word 'story' from the raised eyebrows so she sighed and continued. "It wasn't as bad when I was at your house, it's easier when I'm away from my apartment. Monty helps too. The nightmares aren't always the same ones I had before, they've changed."

"They changed?" He asked, pushing her, surprised she had opened up as easily as she did. That had only served to worry him more. At least he had been seeing Nate regularly since Sidorov, Kensi stopped going to her psychologist the moment she was cleared for duty.

"It's you instead of me in the cave or it's you being shot or I get a call from Bates and I have to go into the body shop and they try to make me leave you behind and they tell me to choose. All those people or you, and I always choose you Deeks, I made the mistake once of leaving you and I wouldn't I promise, but in my dreams, it's too late..." The words had seemed to roll together, rushing from her until her voice trailed off and she was left fighting back tears.

"Kensi, please tell me you don't still feel guilty about what happened with Sidorov."

"How can I not?" Her voice was raised in anger and he knew it was all directed at herself. "I had a choice. I didn't chose you. I should always choose you. You would have found a way to make it work, You would have gotten me out of there, you would have chosen me." He held her in his arms for longer than either of them realised, trying to let her know that he knew she didn't really have a choice. At the time, he had felt a strange mix of anger and pride. She had left him. She also saved him and hundreds of others including Michelle by making him hang on just a little longer. He understood now and he could never blame her. It had been a confusing time and he shut her out, refusing to answer the phone when she called because he knew logically she didn't have a choice, he had just needed time to sort through those emotions, which he did, he had made peace with it a long time ago. He told her this in small bursts, kissing her hair, with each kiss, a promise was whispered that she was completely forgiven if that's what she needed, but that she had never needed his forgiveness.

"So, your turn." She eventually smiled, somehow turning into his regular Kensi in moments. He knew she had been extraordinarily honest with him so he opened up.

"They are only bad if I don't get enough sleep. I see you in the cave. I'm in the body shop though, and I can't stop them getting to you. Sometimes its Sidorov, sometimes its the terrorists, sometimes it's my dad. As long as I know you are okay, I can sleep okay. I know I brought this up but can we stop talking about it for now?" Her kiss was all he needed and its what she gave him, determined to make him stop hurting.

* * *

When they woke on the morning of the deal the atmosphere was heavier, they both knew that by the end of the day he would have to leave and finish the last four months of undercover work. The first two months had been hell, so they didn't know how they were going to get through the next four. They got dressed in silence, stealing kisses every so often, as though needing the comfort the other freely gave.

"Stay safe Deeks." Kensi finally said as they drove to meet Callen and Sam.

"You too." His hand finding hers on the centre console, where they stayed until they arrived at the boatshed.

Callen and Sam were waiting at the boathouse for the couple, their welcome a little less emotional this time but the smiles were still there. They sat around the table, eating the doughnuts Kensi had brought.

"What are we waiting on?" Callen asked, eager to get on with the case.

"The rest of the team." Deeks countered, finding three files from the briefcase and placing them on the table. "Figured you guys would want to know who we are working with." The team grabbed a file each and read, passing it around when they were caught up.

"So these LAPD Detectives that are helping tonight, they up for the job?" Sam asked, opening the third file.

"Well they might only be lowly detectives like me but I think they can handle it."

"That's not what -" He stopped speaking and laughed, realising that Deeks was messing with him.

"Omar is a friend and the other two were personally recommended by him."

* * *

"No wonder you are leaving us if the NCIS office is this close to the water." Omar said pulling his friend in for a hug. "You must be Kensi." He said, surprising her with a hug too.

"Nice to meet you." She said as they pulled apart.

"Omar, this is Agents Sam Hanna and G Callen."

"Pleasure" Said Callen with a nod, obviously trying to decide what he thought of the LAPD detectives that were sitting in their boatshed.

"We were starting to think our liaison didn't have friends over at the LAPD." Sam joked as the two men shook hands.

"Oh, I'm his only friend at LAPD." He laughed in response as Deeks clutched his chest in mock pain. "This is Detectives Bartholomew and Andrews. We worked together on the 'Locat' Weapons op last year, figured it might be good to bring in two guys who know about weapons." He informed the group as everyone shook hands and got acquainted. Deeks also noticed that Callen seemed a little happier about the events after hearing about the 'Locat' op - it had been extremely successful and there were no injuries.

"Well I guess I better start the briefing." Deeks stated. He was no stranger to briefings, he had given hundreds back with the LAPD, often running much larger ops than this one. That wasn't how NCIS worked. At NCIS their briefings were mostly informal and it felt strange to step into a familiar role as team leader when his closest friends had never seen him in that position before. Pushing down the nerves he moved towards the screen and started.

"The Seven Ruins. Ruthless, highly trained, financially motivated. Files are on the table." He pointed at the files before realising Kensi was already handing them out, a silent show of support.

"They have requested a large import of weapons, some of which are so advanced they could bring down our military personnel. The weapons are taken care of, they are in the warehouse already although the group don't know this. They believe the weapons will be brought in some point before our arranged meeting time. As they are highly trained I wanted to be sure we weren't outnumbered, that's why some friends from LAPD are here. Detective Justin Bartholomew, you will be looking out for Devin Bradley."A face flew onto the screen so everyone could see and a new personal file was handed to Bartholomew. "He is ex-Army, he doesn't appear to have anything major in the way of special training, but be careful anyway. Detective Chris Andrews, meet Ada Warren, she is ex-Army too, currently working for the cartel as lead security." Another file was handed off and the detectives dove into their reading. Deeks passed another file out. "Detective Omar Stephens, that is Natalie Connar, one of the leaders of the group. She is ex-C.I.A, apparently a good marksman, be careful. Agent Sam Hanna." His voice was more formal than his friends had heard him, but he wanted to be sure they had all the information before going, it was his op and he would be entirely responsible for his teams safety that evening. "Ex Delta-Force Peter Cain, was allegedly part of the crew that provided the bombs that blew up the beach-front at the Marine Family Day last April, thought you might want to take him." Sam gave him a tight smile, appreciating the gesture and taking the file, but not reading until the briefing ended. "Agent G. Callen, Lucas Stevens, ex-CIA, he was at the agency after you so he will only know of you by name, he trained using the same regime as you so your fighting techniques should be similar. Agent Kensi Blye, Clayton Shaw." He handed her the file and returned to point at the man whose face now took over the screen. "Apparently highly skilled in sayoc, figured you could take him out. I'll be taking care of Nick Connar. Good lcuk tonight everyone." He moved away and gave them time to get caught up, he had been living with the case for weeks and was as prepared as he would ever be, Kensi had already read her personal file more than enough times too and moved to join him.

"You did good." Deeks felt a blush rise up his cheeks, he was getting better at accepting compliments from Kensi, but was still embarassed to hear them. "I mean it, you did great. You've prepared the team and we are gonna get them."

"Yeah we are, Fern." Taking the cup from her hands and refilling her coffee before they joined their impromptu team for any last minute questions.

* * *

They drove over to the warehouse hours before the meeting was due to take place, Kensi and Sam searched for snipers before they moved in, unsure how much 'The Seven Ruins' would have trusted Matt Graham. The coast was clear and the team quickly fell into the effortless ease with which they had completed many missions. They had cleared the outside, before taking to the inside of the warehouse. When they were sure that they were safe, they got on to the weapons. The warehouse was packed, the weapons the terrorists had ordered were sat in front of them. If the mission went wrong, an unimaginable killing power would be handed over to cartels.

They had a few hours before the meet and they quickly fell into easy conversation. As much as Kensi was eager to spend her last few hours with Deeks, she knew Sam and Callen had missed him too and gave them space to catch up. Omar had been pleased to finally meet Kensi and moved away from the detectives when he saw her sitting on her own.

"He's got it bad for you." he bumped her shoulder and sat back as they both looked in the direction of Deeks.

"Well, the feeling is mutual." she blushed.

"When I can, I look into his cases. I've requested to be his handler for future cases. Kensi, I've got his back." Kensi was taken back when she felt tears pool in her eyes, quickly choking back her emotions she gave him a brief hug.

"Thank you." She didn't need to say more. They both knew the weight of what he had promised.

* * *

The seven ruins finally arrived and after a short conversation outside with Deeks they were brought in to meet his team. The excitement of the weapons was enough to momentarily distract them and give the team the upper hand. Then the warehouse erupted into a fight for their lives.

Sam was currently fighting with the ex-delta force, both had some how been disarmed, Sam seemed to have the upper hand as he brought blow after blow down on the man. Callen had pulled his gun on his mark, hitting the man in the chest, only milliseconds before, the gun in his hand discharged a bullet. It hit the wall behind Callen, missing him by inches. He left the dead man and rushed and helped his partner bringing down the giant he was fighting with. Deeks had managed to get Nick in handcuffs with no more injuries than a few hits to his ribs. He had hit Nick in the left knee, an old injury he had remembered from the files. Kensi was in a fight to the death, both opponents had their knifes raised, his made contact with her leg and she swore out in pain before bringing her knife down hard into the side of the man. He collapsed below her and she moved his weapons away. The detectives had held their own, shooting the remaining targets, their side of the room had seemed to be a hail of bullets.

"Everyone okay?" Sam yelled out when the bullets stopped.

"Shit, Omar's down." Bartholomew yelled out and the team rushed over, Callen calling out for an ambulance over comms and for the back up team to move in and take the bodies and remaining suspects out.

"Hey man, you're gonna be okay, just hang in there." Deeks said to his friend. Kensi was sitting on top of him, pressing down on the wound, trying to stem the bleeding. It had hit his shoulder, going right through.

"It's just a scratch Deeks." Omar laughed, his voice course but light.

"Deeks, your jacket." Kensi demanded and it was in her hands in seconds.

She balled it up and applied it to the wound. The ambulance arrived and got to work, because of the position of the wound, if Kensi moved her hand he would bleed out in seconds. The rest of the team was pushed away as a board was slid under Omar and he and Kensi were carried into the ambulance and driven away.

Granger appeared behind them,

"Good mission. Go. I'll take care of this." He motioned to the room and patted Deeks on the shoulder, it had taken a while, but he had truly came to respect the detective. With the permission of the assistant director they rushed from the scene, following the ambulance to the hospital.

In the ambulance Kensi tried to keep Omar talking.

"I've known Deeks for years, and he has never been happier than when he started working with you guys. We never knew why, but I get it now. He has a family." She smiled at his words, he was holding on and she pressed him further.

"What about you Omar, you ever given NCIS a thought?" She was trying to keep him focused on her, hoping that the conversation would stop him passing out.

"Ha, no, not for me. Too many men in uniform to distract me." he laughed. He was drifting into a sleep by the time they reached the hospital. The doctor rushed over and was able to get Omar into a position that allowed Kensi to move away. He was pulled away as she was left standing in the middle of the hospital reception, drenched in blood.

* * *

Kensi pulled her phone out to call her team, but before she could hit dial she saw them rush towards her.

"They took him that way." She pointed down the corridor that led to the trauma unit, her voice breathless. "He was chatting on the way over. but lost conciousness just as he was pulled away but I think he will be okay." Deeks moved to touch her and she backed away. "I'll get the suit covered in blood. I'm going to clean up."

Standing in the bathroom Kensi took in her appearance, She knew the blood wasn't all Omar's, she had been stabbed in the leg but a mixture of adrenaline at Omar's situation and her refusal at possibly missing Deeks leaving again because she was in hospital had stopped the pain taking over so far. She had intended to patch it up herself, not realising how bad the cut was. The dizziness took over and she realised moments too late she had no choice, she was falling to the ground with a crash.

* * *

Deeks paced back and forward, Kensi had been in the ladies room for far too long.

"Excuse me, my partner, Agent Blye went in there a while ago could you check on her?" He asked a nurse, getting Sam to flash his badge. He was surprised when she ran out seconds later screaming for a doctor. Sam held him back as he made a move to run to her.

"Whatever has happened, let the Doctors in first." he said into his ear, not moving the arms wrapped around Deeks. The doctors lifted Kensi onto a gurney. That's when the team saw her leg, in the rush to make sure Omar was okay they hadn't noticed and she had been bleeding out for twenty five minutes at this point.

"Agent Blye, can you hear me?" The doctor asked as the gurney was rushed past her team, a distraught Deeks finally breaking free from Sam, grabbing onto the bed and running with them.


	13. Chapter 13

Kensi had been pulled into the trauma room as a sea of doctors swarmed around her. Doctors shouting for transfusions and the resuscitation team to be on stand by. It had been that remark that had caused Deeks to lose it. Sam and Callen had been called in by the doctors and were told to pull Deeks back or they would have him removed from the building. His fist had managed to connect with Callen's face accidentally but he had ignored it and continued pulling his friend away from the lifeless looking Kensi. Eventually his fighting gave way and he allowed the men to practically drag him from the room and along the corridor. They dropped him into a chair and Sam threw his arm around him as Callen gave a look to Sam, motioning at his phone, he didn't know if Deeks had noticed he had even left his side. Once outside he called Granger, he knew he would be all business and insure the rest of the team found out. Callen was trying to be clinical as he described the current state the woman he saw as a sister was in, explaining how 'Agent Blye' was in a serious condition. Granger had been more emotional than Callen had figured, he swore loudly and promised they would be there as soon as possible.

Callen returned to find the two men in the same position he had left them in. He had barely sat down on the cold seats of the emergency room when they had been joined by the LAPD Detectives Bartholomew and Andrews.

"Omar is still in surgery." Andrews told Callen, he motioned towards Deeks. "I knew they were friends but not this close." Callen pulled him away before Deeks could respond but he realised that Deeks had not heard a thing. He had never seen him look so broken.

"Kensi was stabbed, we didn't realise and she passed out after Omar was taken through."

"Oh, I'm sorry man, we had no idea." He waved him off, it wasn't their fault, they were dealing with the same worry over their friend too.

"Do the bosses at the LAPD know?"

"About Omar yeah but not Agent Blye, I'll give him a call." The detective said as he moved outside, he returned moments later, motioning for Callen to move back away from Deeks.

"He said to pass his well wishes on and that he would speak to Henrietta Lange? I don't know who that is, but, yeah, he said would call her."

"Hetty Lange is our boss, he is picking a dangerous time to try and talk to her." He told him, before making his way back to his friends.

Hetty arrived less than ten minutes later, flanked by a worried looking Granger. Callen rose and gave her his seat, she took it, as well as the hand of Deeks.

"Mr. Deeks? Mr. Deeks?" She asked in calm manner, again and again, until he finally snapped out of the trance he had fallen into and turned to her. He opened his mouth, and as though unable to find the words he closed it once more and simply stared at her.

"Lieutenant Bates has arrange to 'pause' your return until we can see how Miss. Blye is getting on."

That was enough to snap Deeks from his daze.

"Does he really think I even care?" his voice was low, cold. His hand pulled away from Hetty as he started to ball his hands into fists. Sam and Callen saw him as how they imagined those who came against Max Gentry saw him. Intimidating. Frightening. Someone who could cause a lot of pain. "The one person I truly care about is through those doors..." He took a breath. "She could be dead and he thinks that even crossed my mind?" He stood and stormed away from them leaving them staring at his back.

* * *

"I am _so_ sorry"

He had returned half an hour later with a tray of coffees from the canteen.

"I mean it, I'm really sorry this isn't on any of you, Kensi will go mad when she hears I yelled at you guys."

"Hey, you yelled at Bates, it just happened to be in our direction that the yelling took place." Callen laughed, helping him lighten the mood. He grabbed a few coffees passing them to the detectives, Sam helped him divide up the remaining drinks and Deeks fell back into the chair, and into silence.

* * *

"Mr. Deeks?" Deeks shot his head up as the unfamiliar voice called his name.

"Yes?" He asked eagerly.

"Are you Martin Deeks, next of kin for Kensi Blye?"

"Yes, is she okay?"

"Miss. Blye is doing okay." Deeks felt Hetty grab his hand a little tighter, but the group made no other move to interrupt the doctor. "She suffered Stage 1 Hypervolemia due to the stab wound, which in layman's terms basically means she lost about fifteen percent of her blood. We gave her a transfusion as well as a small operation to suture the vein, she should be awake in an hour or so. She is going to be fine." The small group seemed to let out a small burst of cheer, only Deeks remained silent. He had stood and hugged the doctor tight, she laughed a little as he pulled away, the biggest smile taking over the face of a man she had moments before seen as rather frightening.

"Thank you so much. Can I see her?"

"Give us another ten minutes to bring her up to her room and then you can go sit with her." She promised and he turned back to his friends finding himself facing a happy looking team.

"How could she have lost that much blood?" Deeks asked as the news settled that Kensi was going to be okay. "There wasn't that much blood on her leg."

"Ever heard of blood on the floor and four more?" Callen asked. Deeks shook his head not understanding what he was saying.

"Of course the CIA call it that, we called it CRAP. It means for every drop you saw there are internal places she could have bled from." Callen was still laughing at the CRAP acronym as Sam went on to explain, pointing at each body part as he spoke. "Chest, Retroperitoneum, Abdomen, and Pelvis. Kensi probably nicked a small vein in her leg and it bled the entire ambulance journey over, if she hadn't done that she'd have sewn that leg up herself."

"You know that was her plan, right?" Callen added, still laughing as they murmured in agreement. A large cough made them turn back to their bosses who were now standing, ready to leave.

"Hetty and I will return to the mission, give Miss. Blye our best." Granger said as the two agency bosses left the building.

* * *

Deeks placed a kiss on her head, not caring that Sam and Callen were there. In this moment she was his girlfriend, not his partner. She had been fidgeting and he knew she was no longer under because of the medication. At his touch she opened her eyes, and breathed a sigh of relief.

"I thought they'd send you back in without giving me a chance to see you."

"I wasn't leaving without speaking to you first and making sure you were okay."

"I know you wouldn't have left. Wait does that mean you are leaving now?" Her voice sounded a little panicked.

"Not quite, we haven't been debriefed yet." Her face told him the relief she felt and she held his hand a little tighter.

"Good, that's good. Now tell me, how is Omar?" She was relieved to see Deeks when she woke but she couldn't get the sight of Omar bleeding out, laying under her as he almost died and she had to know.

"Doing good, he is awake, it missed any major arteries, all superficial damage and he'll be back on his feet in no time." He told her, relaying the information the detectives had came to tell them only minutes before.

Kensi threw the covers from her, throwing her legs over the bed, pulling the hospital gown around her tight and slipping on the robe and her shoes.

"What the hell are you doing Kensi?" Sam asked, moving towards her.

"Going to visit Omar, I'm fine." and she marched from the room.

Her leg was bandaged and although it was sore, the cut had been at an angle that caused the blood to pour but she had no long term damage and she was even able to walk without limping. The pain felt like a bad bruise, nothing more. Her team ran after her, trying to make her stop. She turned and gave them a look that told them to back off and they knew better than to try and argue with her so they followed her out of the room and made their way towards Omar's room, secretly hoping a nurse would send her back.

They pushed the door open and found the three detectives. They both stood to allow Kensi to sit and she tried to wave them off.

"Sit." Omar demanded. She growled at him, but with a smile on her face and took the seat.

"I'm only sitting because you nearly died."

"And what exactly did you do today? Go for a leisurely stroll and bump your leg? You nearly died too if what I hear is correct." He laughed as the pair of them bumped fists.

Deeks just shook his head laughing at the pair, he had known they would get along but they were acting like old friends instantly.

Despite Omar's cheery mood he looked exhausted, the shoulder was bandaged and sat bright against his skin, he seemed to have a misty film of sweat all over him, even his eyes seemed darker. Despite this he smiled at the team that made their way towards him.

"Thank you Kensi." he said, grabbing her hand. "You saved my life, I owe you so much."

"No worries. You just stick to what you told me you were gonna do earlier and you owe me nothing." The team members shared a look unsure what deal they had made but they were all sure it had something to do with Deeks.

"So that's the only reason? Oh you wound me Kensi Blye, here I thought you had fell in love with these chocolate brown eyes."

"Nah, not the only reason, it's in the top five for sure." he gave her a look and she made a scene of re-thinking her statement. "It's top three, number one was the eyes." That got a booming laugh from him.

"This is why I didn't introduce you guys earlier, you're as bad as each other." Deeks joked as he sat on the chair beside Kensi. They fell into easy conversation with the rest of the group quickly.

"How long are you out of service?" Callen asked, pulling up a chair beside him.

"Doctor says I'll be out in a few days, a week or two at home and then I'll be on Desk duty for a few weeks and I'll need a little physiotherapy but I'm gonna be fine."

"That's great to hear Omar." Sam said.

They were interrupted when the phone rang out, Deeks took the call quickly, worried something had gone wrong with the arrests, he was assured that wasn't the case by his boss.

"Hetty wants us back at ops. We need to go." They said their goodbyes and Kensi discharged herself, against two different doctors orders. Sam and Callen drove ahead while Deeks ran back to the car and back inside with Kensi's gym back. She was thankful she had packed a pair of baggy sweats that morning, allowing room around her bandage. When they reached the car she let him drive, knowing he would complain about it if she didn't.

"I love you." he whispered before the drove away.

"I love you too." They didn't need to say more at that point, their emotions were running wild, Deeks was still worried about Kensi, and they both felt panicked about upcoming cases but in that moment they knew they loved and were loved deeply in return. That was enough for now.

* * *

Hetty raised an eyebrow when Kensi walked into ops but was unable to hold her straight face for long and gave her a hug. Kensi took a seat during the debriefing, the one sign that showed she had been injured. Throughout the briefing she had sat in a panic, she knew Deeks would have to leave soon.

"Mr. Deeks. I have managed to tell a little lie on your behalf, I said our debriefing would be tomorrow at sixteen hundred hours after Miss. Blye was released. I suggest you catch up with your friends during this time, and enjoy tomorrow with Miss. Blye. You will be missed Mr. Deeks. Please take care of yourself for the next few months. We will be waiting." Kensi wanted to hug her boss again, she had never felt so much adoration for her. Their relationship with their boss had been tense since Afghanistan but they seemed to have repaired it.

"Drinks?" Deeks asked.

"Sounds good man, how about we go back to mine, I promised a cook out."

The entire team found their way to the Hanna household, Deeks unsurprised when he was pulled in for a tight hug from Michelle, she had a soft spot for him since the torture and they had both been there for him while Kensi was reassigned. Monty ran towards him, happy to have him back. He tried to thank them for taking him while he and Kensi were busy but Michelle swatted him away.

"Uncle Marty." A bright voice yelled, jumping into the arms of Deeks.

"Hey Kam, I missed you! How have you been?"

"I got a an A+ on the test you helped me with." The pride was emanating from her and the group gave their congratulations. After her excitement and seeing her uncle faded she said her hellos to the rest of her strange little family.

They ate, drank and laughed. Deeks told stories of what he was doing undercover, he told them that the alias Max Gentry was dead in the ground. A fact that pleased Kensi greatly. They caught Deeks up on what he had missed, teasing Kensi about how much she had been pining for Deeks. She fought back with a small_ 'hey, I was stabbed today'_ but didn't put up much of a fight, she knew it was true.

After the sun had faded and the cold started to fall around them they started to leave, Callen left first, he had a date with Joelle. He intended to tell her the truth soon, so she could join these little get togethers. Eric and Nell left soon after, pretending to be going in different directions.

"We were more subtle than that surely?" Kensi asked, laughing at the young techs poor efforts.

"The issue with you two is you acted like that from the start, we didn't know when it changed." Sam teased as he started clearing the table. Kensi yawned and the events of the day were starting to take over. Her and Deeks said their goodbyes, making sure to give Kam a hug or she would hold it over him, like the time she fell asleep a few months before and he had slipped out without a goodbye. He had to buy her a doll to get her to start talking to him again.

Sam pulled Deeks aside as Michelle and Kensi said their goodbyes. He reached into his pocket and handed over a small dog-tag. Deeks turned it over and found that rather than a name it had an inscription. '_De familia mihi vires_ '

"It means '_my strength comes from family._' Michelle got me these for the first mission I had to leave on after we were married. These kept me safe, and they were a reminder that even when it got hard, I had a family back home. You have us. I hope these keep you safe." Deeks was stunned, he knew his relationship with Sam had come a long way because of what he had done for Michelle, but it still stunned him to hear him say 'you are my brother and you have a family with us'.

"Thank you." was all Deeks said but they both shared a look that told them they both understood the weight of their conversation.

* * *

Kensi and Deeks returned to her house, for the first time in months.

She realised as she unlocked her door that this was back to being home, no more living at Deeks house. The idea that she still didn't know who had ruined that sanctum for her frightened her a little. She could take down the bad guys, it was the unknown she feared.

Monty quickly made himself comfortable by sitting at their feet on the couch. Their kisses became more frenzied and they found their way to the bedroom.

As they lay in each others arms they didn't talk about his upcoming ops other than to agree it would be highly unlikely that he would be able to get in touch. She told him all about Omar's plans to be his handler which caused him to snort as he finally understood the entirety of their conversation.

The next day they stood at the doors of her house as he said goodbye, they both had tears in their eyes but ignored them, concentrating on the person in front of them.

"Stay safe." she yelled out after him and he gave a smile and a wave as he drove away and back into the field.

* * *

"Hetty can we talk?" Kensi asked when she drove into work the next day.

"Of course Miss. Blye" She said as she led the way to her office.

"First thank you for what you did with the debriefing, he, _we,_ needed that." A smile and a wave of her hand as though it was nothing was the only response.

"Nonsense. Sit, I wanted to speak with you anyway. Is Mr. Deeks back with our friends at the LAPD?"

"Unfortunately." she said which gained a small laugh from the woman now pouring tea for them both.

"I wanted to ask what you thought about using Nell as a temporary partner, it will be on a case by case basis until your partner comes back."

"Yeah, Deeks said she was great in the field when I was, she did great." Hetty eyed her suspiciously, thinking maybe another trip with Nate was needed to deal with Afghanistan. Hetty's thoughts were interrupted when Kensi started speaking once more. "Speaking of partners, can you give me Mark's address. I didn't really give him a chance to explain himself and I think I might have been a little too harsh." Hetty's smile grew wider and she reached over her desk taking a pen and writing the address for Kensi.

The house was exactly the kind of house Kensi would like to live in one day, a small single storey cottage with a yard, with a sweeping bath and large bay windows. The focus of the house however was the large double wide wooden door. It was way outside the pay check of a federal agent, but Mark was engaged to a lawyer so they had plenty of money. The knock on the door went unanswered and Kensi peaked through the windows over the door, the body of a woman was peeking out from the hallway. She pulled her gun and opened the door. The woman had no pulse and was cold, her murder wasn't recent, Kensi guessed, by the smell and decomposition this happened around the time Mark had left NCIS. Despite this Kensi swept the house first before approaching the body. Spotting a photo of the wall of a happy couple, her fears were confirmed.

"Nell, it's Kensi. I'm at Marks. He's missing and his girlfriend has been murdered."

"I'll inform Hetty."


	14. Chapter 14

Kensi waited inside the house for her team. Trying not to look at the body of the woman. She hadn't known Mark long but it had been obvious he was desperately in love with his fiancé. Sam and Callen arrived at the scene no more than ten minutes after Kensi had called it in, rushing into the house to find her.

"What happened?"

"Not got a clue, she was shot in the head so it's unlikely she had a chance to even fight but I haven't properly searched. No sign of Mark." She said solemnly.

"Kensi take the bedroom, Sam the living room, I'll take the kitchen. Forensic team are about fifteen minutes out, Hetty made them rush." With the orders from Callen given, the team split up.

The bedroom appeared to be as you would expect, with nothing out of place. Even the bed was made and the laundry in the basket. Feeling a little guilty, she started to pull out the drawers, searching for clues. Everything seemed in order, no signs of a struggle, nothing looked out of place. Whatever had happened in this house, it didn't happen in the bedroom. Sam however had a different scenario waiting for him. In the middle of the room sat a dining chair, ropes, now cut were bundled around the legs of the chair. A little bit of blood had been splattered onto the floor, nothing more than you would get from a nosebleed. He called his team in as he took pictures of the chair and sent them to ops.

"Oh no." Kensi said, noticing the chair properly for the first time. She hadn't paid much attention to it on her initial sweep of the house, her main focus had been finding Mark.

They heard Callen move down the corridor towards them.

"Nothing out of place in the kitchen except a missing dining cha-" His voice dropped when he saw the missing piece of furniture in the middle of the floor.

They stopped their search quickly after that as the forensic team had arrived. They swept the house as the agents sat with the coroner.

"G.S.W. No other sign of trauma but I'll no more once we get her out of here." She motioned for the carrying tray to be brought over, and with the help of her interns the coroner lifted the woman's body and moved it over.

"Oh god." Kensi said, feeling sick, guilt, fear and dread crushing together inside of her. "A rose."

Callen and Sam directed their eyes to where she was pointing, directly under the body, a single rose had been placed. Storming from the house, Callen quickly caught up with her, he tried to think of something to make her feel better but he knew his words would be useless, instead he handed her a bottle of water from his car and gave her a minute to take in what she had seen.

"This is on me." She said suddenly, standing up from the sidewalk and dusting off her jeans. "It's not safe for me to be a part of this team anymore."

"Kensi, it's never safe to be part of this team. Janvier, Jada Khaled, Sidorov, The Comescu. This family sticks together always." He pulled her in for a brief hug and she gave him nudge and pulled away, feeling a little better by the time Sam walked towards them.

"Was Kensi planning on going rogue agent again." Her eye roll had told him the answer had been yes for at least a moment.

"Let's go back to ops. We need to find Mark." she ordered, pushing away the guilty thoughts, focusing on the case.

* * *

It was almost two months later when they finally had a new piece of information. It hadn't come from Mark's house, or any of the cameras around it. In fact, they had no information other than a Smith &amp; Wesson 5944 had been the offending weapon during the raid at the Campbell's. None of them spoke about the potential significance of the choice of weapon, but they all knew, and it made them realise this was perhaps bigger than they thought.

The new information had come from a much less expected place.

Sam and Callen had been away on an overnight training op, at first Kensi hadn't believed it was an innocent op, and after a little persuasion, Nell searched the system and confirmed they were in Washington helping train new recruits. That had been the reason Joelle had called Kensi instead of Callen.

"I'm really sorry to bother you." She apologised. "My car has broken down and I need to get to class, I'm at Callen's could you pick me up?"

Kensi had been eager to chat to Joelle, she had made her friend very happy and that made her a friend by extension. That was why she rushed over and waved the redhead into her car.

Joelle climbed in with three bags and two boxes.

"Craft day." she explained with a smile. She set the boxes in the back seat when Kensi spotted something that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"What's in that box Joelle?" She asked, her voice hushed as though making a sound would startle it. Joelle reached across a grabbed it.

"A rose, it was dropped of on my door at some point. Callen isn't exactly the most romantic, Sam probably told him to send it."

"Was there a note." Kensi whispered, her face changing and causing Joelle to panic. She opened the box and eventually found a small note that must have fallen to the bottom of the box.

"Yeah, it says 'This doesn't concern you.' What does that mean?"

"Joelle, I'm sorry can you call work and make an excuse. It's time for you to meet everyone."

Hetty had arranged for Joelle to come to OSP, her life was potentially in danger and they would do all they could to protect it. They set up a video conference and Callen had instantly panicked when he spotted Joelle in ops.

"Mr. Callen, Joelle is perfectly fine. This morning a rose was left on your doorstep. We do not know at this point if she was the intended recipient or not. The note however was clearly for you." Eric sent them photos of the box and the note, Callen and Sam promised to board the next plane home. "Mr. Callen, Joelle will be staying with Michelle tonight, she will be okay. Have a safe flight gentlemen."

After the initial panic had settled they had all taken the opportunity to question the woman who had secured the lone wolf G. Callen's heart. Even Hetty was caught up in the questioning and Kensi had swept the flustered looking teacher away from the office back to Michelle's with an apologetic look. Joelle had inadvertently met the family, had had been massively unprepared for it. That night the three women had gotten extraordinarily drunk and the men had returned to find them asleep, tangled on the floor.

Although the rose had helped build a friendship between Joelle and Kensi, that was all it did, it gave them no new clues to work with and another past with no clues to follow.

* * *

It had been three months to the day since Kensi had last seen Deeks. Three months since she had heard his voice. Three months since Mark had been officially declared missing. The entire team had worked tirelessly in an attempt to find Mark but they were no closer than the day they found his fiancé, lifeless in her own blood.

It was an empty day in ops, and Kensi spent it how they had been spending every spare minute. Reviewing the evidence as though something would magically appear. Kensi thought back on some of the events that had led to her watching the same loop of CCTV footage in a desperate attempt that new information would appear

The footage that had been playing on a loop stopped and the change snapped Kensi out of the wander down memory lane. Nell apologised for pausing the file and started it up again. It seemed desperate to watch it, over and over, but with no new leads, it was their only option. Whoever this team were, they were skilled. For the first time, the entire team had hoped Kensi would get a delivery of flowers, to give them something to work with. None arrived. Kensi knew that it wasn't over. They just didn't have her address. The atmosphere in the mission was tense, they all had regrets in regards to their treatment of Mark, Deek's being gone played heavy on their hearts too, and their boss seemed to have taken the loss personally.

Hetty had taken the news of Mark being missing hard, placing the guilt on herself. She had promised to keep him safe, and in doing so, likely brought him to his death. The rest of her team did not know of their connection, this only made the burden weigh heavier on Hetty. Kensi also felt like it was her fault, roses had been found at the scene after all. Mark had been her partner and she hadn't protected him and now someone had probably killed him in an attempt to get at her.

"Hetty?" Kensi spoke quietly as the rest of the team made their way out that evening.

"Yes dear?"

"Cup of tea?" Kensi asked as she held up a box of Hetty's favourite loose Oolong tea leaves.

"How about something a little stronger?" She replied with a smile grabbing her bag and closing down her laptop.

"Even better." Kensi laughed.

They walked from the mission together and Kensi followed her boss in her car, she had expected her to drive to a bar but was surprised when they eventually rolled to a stop outside one of Hetty's homes. She followed her in wordlessly and sat on the comfortable sofa taking in the room as Hetty pottered about the kitchen. The walls were adorned with rugs, art, tapestries and other objects from all over the world. The table was a solid wood with what seemed like hundreds of small compartments and Kensi knew there was probably a story behind that too. Despite the luxury of the room it still felt homey and comfortable. Hetty returned from the Kitchen with a bottle of scotch, two glasses and a tub of ice cream.

"Please make yourself comfortable Kensi, you are here as a friend, not an agent." Kensi pulled her shoes off and sat up on the sofa, a sadness was obvious on her bosses face. Before Kensi could ask questions, Hetty handed her a small photo album. As Kensi began flipping through the photos of a much younger Hetty and her friends, Hetty began to speak. "That woman in the middle standing beside President Carter, that was my partner for many years, even after we went to different agencies, we were often paired together for black ops. Our code name was 'Double Edged Sword'. I would go in as the 'weak' civilian, the height always makes people underestimate me. She would barrel in as the distraction, then we would take out our target together." She stopped speaking for a moment, staring at the photos Kensi was looking at, a pensive look taking over her face.

"She was your best friend?"

"Yes, she was the closest I had to family at the time. She was married and had a son. My nephew, oh, how I doted on that boy. Our last mission went wrong, and she was killed. I promised I would keep her son safe." she reached across and took the book from Kensi, flipping the pages until she found what he was looking for. Kensi gasped when she saw Hetty and Mark on his graduation day.

"I'm so sorry Hetty."

"This isn't on you, I brought him here, in an attempt to get him out of our business. I thought working with us would make him realise it wasn't for him. Now he may be dead."

"It's not your fault Hetty, we will find whoever is doing is and I will put a bullet in their brain."

Hetty gave a smile, she had no doubt that Kensi would do just that. She lifted her glass to her lips before raising her glass.

"To Mark and Deeks. May they both come home safe."

"Mark and Deeks." Kensi whispered, before taking a drink.

* * *

Kensi woke in a panic, fresh from a nightmare she tried to control her breathing as she took in the room. She didn't recognise it and her brain seemed to be a haze. It was a large bedroom, with ornate wallpaper and light curtains, allowing the morning sun to drift in. As she had lifted her head from the pillow, the sudden movement made her feel sick but caused the memories of the night before to flood back. Kensi watching as Hetty took shots of tequila as though it was water. Giggling as they made vodka ice cream floats. Kensi crying to her boss about how much she missed Deeks.

Checking her surroundings once more she was now sure she was in Hetty's house, and had a terrible hangover. Embarrassment growing with each memory that surfaced. Looking at her phone for the time she saw a mass text had been sent out.

_'Take the day off. You all need it. HL.' _

Kensi made her way down to the kitchen to find Hetty. If Hetty had a hangover, it was hidden well.

"Breakfast?" she asked as a team of two chefs worked around her. Kensi gave a nod and followed Hetty to the backyard, the house was beautiful and the yard was large enough to hold a party for hundreds. Vines covered in lights surrounded the yard giving it a magical feel, Kensi remembered how it had looked the night before. It was decorated like a party scene from The Great Gatsby.

Kensi's phone beeped and she strained her eyes to make out the text.

_'Lunch?'_ was all the text said, she typed back a quick reply.

_'Korean place at W 5__th__ street at 2?"_ and smiled as she placed the phone back on the table.

"News from Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked, hoping for more information on her young detective.

"Omar wants to have lunch, I'll update you on what I find out." Kensi's mood was increasing by the second, lunch with Omar normally meant an update on Deeks. Since Omar had been shot, he and Kensi had become firm friends. They had little lunch dates at least once a fortnight and he would update her, as much as he could, on how Deeks was getting on.

After the delicious breakfast that Hetty's chefs had put on she said her goodbyes, giving Hetty a hug and a whispered promise that they would find out what happened to Mark. Kensi was pleased that she and her boss had rebuilt their relationship, she had feared after Afghanistan that they would never have the same trust but she knew now that things had settled.

* * *

Back at her own house, showered and dressed, she marked an X on the calender. One more month to go until he was home. She grabbed her bags and drove to meet Omar.

Kensi arrived first and ordered them both drinks, standing and excitedly hugging Omar when he arrived. They chatted about what they had each been up to since their last lunch date just over a week ago while they waited for food. Fifteen minutes into the small talk Kensi finally asked.

"How is he?"

"Fifteen minutes." he said making a dramatic show of looking at his watch in wonder. "Well done Kensi, that's a record." Omar laughed, surprised she had managed to keep the small talk going for so long. She had laughed in response, and rolled her eyes, not trying to deny she was worried. "He is doing good, he was pulled out of the op last night, he managed to shut down the entire supply of rohypnol that had hit the campuses around here, but he was given a new assignment straight away so couldn't come home."

"What's the assignment?"

"Heroin. I'm his handler so I'll be able to get you more information on this one. The mission is called Operation Golden Crescent, maybe your tech guys can get you a little more data and I wont get pulled in for giving out classified information." She lauhged once more as she wrote down the name, slipping the note into her jacket. "It's coming in from Afghanistan, funding some terrorist cells but he mostly focusing on the west coast suppliers rather than the bigger picture. I told him if he finds a navy connection to call me and I'd get you guys involved."

"Is the DEA involved?"

"Yeah I think so, they don't know who we have undercover but they know someone is in."

Kensi pulled out her phone, searching for a number before hitting dial.

"Talia? It's Kensi."

"Hey Kensi, How's things?" The voice chirped through the cell.

"Not bad, I called for a favour."

"Shoot."

"How much do you know about Operation Golden Crescent?"

"I'm going to be read in on it in the next few days. Why?" She said, curious at the NCIS interest at the case.

"It's Deeks current op, he's undercover."

"I've got his back Kensi."

"Thanks, I owe you."

"Buy me a steak and a beer and we're even." Talia retorted before hanging up.

Kensi hung up feeling a little better, she smiled brighter than she had in months. He would have two people she trusted having his back, it wasn't her out there with him, and he would still be on his own a lot, but it would help her sleep knowing he had help close by. After the initial dislike, Kensi and the DEA agent had felt towards each other, they had realised they had a lot in common and had become close friends. Talia had felt the tension between Kensi and Deeks and jokingly messed with them. The jealousy had made Kensi feel stupid after their spat and she had taken Talia to lunch were the both apologised and agreed that they had been immature. Their friendship only deepened from that point, they both understood the pressures the other went through and had since been there for each other, both personally and professionally. She had been one of the first to find out about their relationship status change from them and Kensi had helped plan Talia's grandmothers funeral with her.

Talia was loyal, ruthless and skilled, and knowing she would have Deek's back made Kensi feel better.

The rest of their impromptu lunch date passed without much chat regarding work. Omar wanted to learn more hand to hand combat and Kensi promised to meet at his gym in a few weeks and teach him some moves. She paid before he had a chance to argue and he pulled her in for a hug.

"He'll be home soon."

"I know, thanks for everything."

She drove back home feeling lighter than she had in weeks.


	15. Chapter 15

Operation Golden Crescent was the current task he was faced with. The supplier was using low level dealers to distribute the heroin throughout southern California but the Los Angeles area seemed to be the epicentre for distribution. All he had to find was one low level dealer and become friends. With all cases, that's where he would start anyway, quickly working his way into the inner workings of the larger operation. That was the same plan here. He had arrived at a bar where he knew that most of the patrons were at least using hard drugs, if not selling them.

The place was filthy, the entrance was in an alley way, and Deeks had to kick piles of litter out of his way to pull the gate to the alley open. The alley itself was disgusting, it smelt like stale alcohol, urine and sick. It was definitely a 'locals' only haunt, not exactly the Los Angeles they advertised all over the world. It was so well hidden that if you didn't know it was there, you would walk right by it. Deeks wouldn't be surprised if most natives had never heard of the place, even in his time as Max Gentry he had never came across this bar, and Max wasn't picky about where he drank. The sign above the door read 'Cunninghams.", although it was less of a proper sign and instead it appeared to have been hand painted onto the wall over forty years before and hadn't been updated since. The door to the bar was slim, with a small windows along the top, that had bars across it. He gave himself a small breath the prepare himself and then he was ready.

Dressed similar to how he dressed in his Max Gentry days he walked through the door, into the dark room and straight to the bar. His cover name was Scott Cardwell, he recently moved to Los Angeles from Ohio and needed a supplier. Deeks went over his cover story in his head as he had a drink. With each sip he settled into the bar, watching how the locals carried themselves. Making sure he would be able to provide himself with a cover persona that was scary enough that people would fear him slightly, but not too much that 'friends' would be called in to take care of the 'new guy'. That had been a mistake he had made in his early days.

He was on his second drink when a woman pulled up a chair next to him but he paid no attention to her despite how close she was sitting, it wasn't until she gasped and grabbed his arm and began speaking to him in an excited manner that he paid any attention.

"Scott? Is that you? Oh my god, I haven't seen you in years." Deeks turned and smiled, realising DEA Agent Talia Del Campo was sat next to him. "What you don't remember me? It's Amy Clark?" He noted her cover name, committing it to memory.

"Of course I remember you Amy, how could I forget? How have you been?" His voice was uninterested, fitted the role. In reality he knew if she was here, she had something important to pass on.

"Not bad, I bumped into the brunette you were seeing the other day. She was asking for you." He laughed, knowing Kensi would get Omar to talk and reveal the current operation. He also noticed that the bartender had been listening in and was still paying attention, this was their opportunity.

"That's great, say hi to her. Um, I'm just back from Ohio, do you know where I can get some stuff? I've not had a hit since I got off the bus yesterday?" he said in a whisper, but loud enough that he knew the bartender could hear him.

"Sorry Scott, I don't do that anymore. I've got to go but give me call if you need anything? I promised that girl I would take care of you if she couldn't." Her words were seductive as she handed him a cell number, but he understood the true meaning behind her words. Kensi was calling in her favours to get him home safe. He slipped the cell number into his jacket and turned back to the glass in front of him. He sat nursing his drink for a few minutes, knowing he had to be patient, and wait for the man behind the bar to take the bait of his impromptu conversation. The bar area was eventually clear and the bartender quietly leaned over. He slid a note towards him, it had an address on it. "Let her know Gary sent you." He gave the man a nod and paid and tipped him for the drinks.

* * *

The address on the paper was in a bad neighbourhood, but not too far from the bar. He drove the five miles his car, which managed to fit in with the neighbour he was driving into - It was a little bashed around the edges. The apartments in front of him were 5 stories tall, the bottom floor windows were caged up, metal bars hanging down to keep intruders out. The flat number he was given however, was on the top floor. The door was busted open so he didn't bother buzzing up. He walked up the stairs cautiously, trying to look around each corner as carefully as he could without potentially drawing attention to himself. As much as it had appeared to go to plan he still had to take into consideration that while undercover, anything could be a trap. Finally he reached the last floor. The door had_ 11b_ written on it in pen and it was the only apartment on this floor and the area was filthy. He took a breath to ready himself and knocked on the door.

It creaked open and a man appeared, Deeks was about to tell him that Gary sent him, assuming he was the dealer. He took in all the details he could about the man's face, knowing anyone he came across could hold the key to bringing down the drug ring.

"Just go on through, she's got good stuff this week mate." He passed by Deeks and he walked into the house. The apartment was tiny, and although he had never stayed in an apartment there was something familiar about this place. The furniture perhaps he thought, but he wasn't sure, and not being sure worried him. He passed two open doors, peering in, he noted they were empty. There was no one else in the house. Only him and the dealer, an older woman who now had her back turned to him in the living room.

"Take a seat, I'll be with you in a second." She muttered.

Deeks stopped in his tracks, his body frozen at the voice. He realised he was shaking and tears were trying to escape from his eyes. His heart was beating out of his chest and the emotions rushed through him, confusing him further, shock, guilt, fear, happiness and anger raged through his body in coursing waves. He took a few deep breaths, calming himself, allowing him to speak.

"Mom." his voice was harsher than he intended but he had felt rage take over as the primary emotion.

Her head whipped round and he took in her face. It was his definitely his mom, the familiar blue eyes that matched his, the blonde hair, the scar through her eyebrow she received at the hands of his dad. That is where his mom ended, this woman had sunken cheekbones, they looked so sharp, as though they were seconds from piercing the skin. Her face and neck had marks that looked like acne scars. Searching her thin body, looking for bruises, a habit he had since childhood. Instead of familiar bruises he saw that her arms were covered in red, itchy looking wounds, scars ran up and down her arms.

"Martin." she said, her voice sounded bitter but her face looked scared. "So you did turn out bad in the end."

His heart broke and he knew that it was the drugs talking. He tried to remember the woman who held him when he got scared, the woman who cut his toast into little soldiers for dunking into eggs and made a smile on his pancakes with whipped cream. The woman who had thrown herself onto of him when he had kicked the ball into the neighbours window and his dad was 'going to make him pay'. That was the woman he tried to think of. Not this broken woman who let the drugs talk for her.

"I'm a cop mom."

Her eyes seemed to change, as though life had sprung back into them. She looked proud and a smile crept onto her face. He was unsure what she was about to do next but he was frozen in place, when she started crying he pulled her to the sofa and held her. It was a scenario they had found themselves in time after time, his dad would beat her and storm out and little Martin Brandel would have to comfort her.

"I'm sorry for everything baby, if you just let me explain."

"Mom, we don't have time for that. I promise as soon as I am finished here we will talk. We need to talk, I know, but not now. Do you trust me?"

"Of course, baby."

"Then I need you to listen to me. I need you away from this situation, I've got a job to do, if you stay we could both get killed and my cover will be blown. If you leave, I won't have to arrest you." She had interrupted to say she didn't have anywhere to go but he cut her off. "This is the address you will go to, I want you to go there right now. Pack your stuff." He helped her put a few changes of clothes into a small bag, searching his pockets he found the number Talia had given him.

"I need your help, can you meet me at Abbot Kinney Boulevard in an hour?" The voice on the other end agreed, recognising something unusual in her friends voice.

They locked up his mom's house and she sent out the text telling a few people her nephew had arrived and told her that her sister was sick and she was going to visit her for a few weeks. Deeks hoped they would believe it, hoping the cover of nephew would be enough for anyone who had questions. As they drove, his heart broke every time he looked at his mom. She was like a different person from the woman he had last spoken to years before, but he hoped that underneath the pain was the kind and gentle mother he had missed since he was eleven. He tried hard not the think about that day. The day he pulled a gun on his dad and split his family apart. Logically he knew he wasn't to blame. Logically, not emotionally.

When they pulled up in the street he spotted Talia instantly. She walked over and took one look at the woman and knew this wasn't an issue with his cover, this was personal.

"I need you to take my mom to Kensi." He handed her a letter to give to Kensi and helped his mom carry her bag into Talia's car. Talia tried to hide the shock that the shaking drug addict now sat in the front seat of her car was Deeks mother.

"Is your cover blown"

"No, I'm good. Just please take care of her. Thank you." Deeks said pulling Talia in for a hug but not allowing her any more questions. He jumped into his car and drove away, and Talia knew she had to do the same.

She didn't have time to send Kensi a message to warn her, she had to get Deeks mom away from there as quickly as possible to ensure Deeks cover wasn't broken. She made a few false turns, not knowing if anyone was following but she figured it was better to be safe. The woman made no move to talk and Talia felt that talking to her might somehow be an invasion of Deeks privacy. She switched on the radio to drown out the awkward silence and was thankful when she spotted Kensi's car when they pulled into her street.


	16. Chapter 16

They pulled up and Talia grabbed the woman's bags, pointing her towards Kensi's place. Talia knocked on the door and heard Kensi yell.

"Just a minute."

It was a minute or two later when the door opened and Kensi appeared with her hair wrapped in a towel and a twenty in her hand.

"Sorry Talia, I thought you were the pizza." She opened the door fully and spotted the small woman beside her, her head was down so she couldn't get a good look at her. Talia remained silent and Kensi started to panic.

"Is he okay? Please tell me he's okay."

"He's fine Kensi. He wanted me to give you this." Talia handed a note to Kensi and led the small woman inside and onto the sofa, dropping her bags beside her. Kensi had sat in the armchair and was reading the letter when the door was knocked. Talia took the money from Kensi's hand, not even sure if she noticed and brought the pizza in. No one spoke, giving Kensi time to read.

_Kens, _

_I don't have much time so this note is short. This is my mom. Brenda. I'm not even sure what her last name is anymore. She is on heroin, possibly other drugs too but I have no idea. I'm sorry to ask you to help but I can't leave her here. I have money in my savings account, can you find a rehab facility and pay for it with that. _

_Thank you, I'm sorry._

_I love you so much. _

_See you soon._

Kensi looked up to find the woman looking at her, with fear in her eyes, she struggled to hide her shock when the piercing eyes looking back were exactly like Deeks. Talia was eating the pizza that had arrived and had gotten both of the women drinks. When she saw that Kensi had finished the letter she stood and grabbed her bag.

"Do you want me to stay?" Talia asked, shooting a glance between the two women, already knowing the answer but wanting to show she was there for her friends.

"No, I think this is something Deeks would want to stay between us as much as possible." Kensi, for one of the first times, would gladly have accepted help. She was entirely out of her element. Deeks needed her though, and that was enough to get her through it.

She walked Talia to the door, and didn't speak until she was sure they were out of earshot.

"Did he seem okay?" Worry written on her face.

"Shaken, a little, but he's doing okay." She promised. "If you need anything, _anything_ Kensi, just call?" She gave her a quick hug and left the two woman alone.

Kensi returned and unsure what to do, promised to grab another glass of water for the woman as an excuse to leave the room and tried to clear her mind as she rushed from the living room to the kitchen. She was in a panic, her hands shaking as she filled the glass with water. Swearing as she spilt half of it and had to start again. Trying to get her thoughts straight she tried to think about what she knew about Deeks mom. She realised she knew nothing. He barely spoke about his mother. She had no idea what to do, but Deeks needed her to do this for him so she grabbed the glass and tried to control the shaking and returned from the kitchen. She spotted the photo of her and Deeks on the beach and it once again reminded her that she needed to be here for him, even when she couldn't physically be with him.

"Brenda? I'm Kensi, sorry I just realised I haven't introduced myself."

"Are you a friend of Martin's?" She realised how fast this must have happened if Deeks hadn't had a chance to tell her where she was going. She noticed how scared the woman looked for the first time, she had been dropped into a strangers home without much warning, for either of them. Kensi didn't mind, so long as it kept Deeks safe but it served to remind her to be a little more patient with the woman.

"Deeks is my boyfriend, and partner at work too."

"Deeks?"

"Um, yeah?" Kensi said, as she remembered his dads second name was Brandel, his mom's confusion became clear.

"Deeks is my maiden name, I never knew he changed it from Brandel. He told me he would change it as soon as he was old enough but I never knew he went through with it."

"Is he doing okay? Did he look hurt at all?" Kensi voice wavered as she asked, unable to keep up the lie she had been living, that she was okay with Deek's being gone.

"No, he looked okay." In the blink of an eye she had made up the space between them and was holding Kensi in a tight hug. "Thank you."

"What are you thanking me for?"

"How much you care for my baby. I can tell he is loved." Kensi held her until she had stopped sobbing, she tried to draw strength from the photo of Deeks she could see above her TV, she made a promise to him in her mind that she would get his mom through this. Brenda pulled away from Kensi, wiping her eyes and adjusting her clothes.

"He was angry with me back in that room, really angry. It was like a ghost of his dad had came in, except he has the same floppy hair as ever, but his face was like Gordon's. Scary, angry. I understand why he is mad at me. Does he...?" she paused trying to collect her thoughts. "Has he ever hit you? Please tell me he isn't like his dad."

"No, never. Marty is the greatest man I know, he would never." She realised just how angry she was at the insinuation that Deeks was anything like his father and Brenda must have realised this.

"I'm sorry, he was always a good boy. I just worried I messed him up. I was a terrible mother."

"Marty always speaks about you with love." Kensi hoped the words would settle the woman.

"How does he manage that? After what I did."

"What did you do?" Kensi asked, fighting to keep the accusatory tone from her voice, wondering what else little Deeks had gone through, the few times he had spoken about his childhood he had told her about what his father did but he didn't speak much about his mother, other than to say good things.

"Gordon came home from work that night, it had been a tough day and I think they had said they were going to be letting people go. He came home early so his dinner wasn't ready. He kicked one of Martin's toys and it smashed to pieces. I tried to calm him down but he punched me and I fell into the stove, the boiling water burnt my leg." She choked on her tears as she relived the memory and Kensi grabbed her hand, promising herself that she would protect this woman as surely as she would protect Deeks because he had asked her too. Regardless of what she told her next, Deeks had asked for her help and she would give it. Kensi's stroked her back and calmed her down. She was finally able to speak again.

"It was probably the worst beating he had given and I thought he was going to kill me. He pulled a bat from Marty's room and was about to hit me and I heard the loud bang. Martin stood there in his little star wars pyjamas, the gun in his shaking little hands and he started crying. I called the ambulance and Gordon was unconscious and I thought he was dead. He roared in tears the whole time and I couldn't calm him, it took me a good few minutes to tear the gun from his hands. The police came and arrested Gordon as he was being lifted onto the ambulance. Deeks was hysterical when the policeman walked towards him, poor lamb thought he was being arrested." She paused for another minute, taking a sip of the water Kensi had gotten for her. "That policeman sat Deeks on his lap and told him that he had defended himself and me, and sometimes for the good guys to win, they had to hurt the bad guys. All that mattered was you never hurt the good guys." Kensi smiled at the idea of the police taking the time to help him. She was sure it went a long way to how he interacted with kids while on duty.

"What happened next?" Kensi knew there was more to the story, and she needed to know. Deeks had only spoken in passing about the night he had shot his father.

"I blamed him. Gordon was sent to prison and we had no money, we were going to lose the house. I blamed him. He was a kid and I was still so scared of that bastard Gordon that I blamed my baby. To keep us in a house I started dealing drugs, then using. When Deeks left for college he begged me to stop. I told him he was no longer welcome in my house if he didn't like how I paid for it. I thought if I pushed him away he would have a better life."

Kensi pinched her nose, a headache starting to rise. All she wanted was to hug Deeks tight and let him know he was loved.

She stepped aside and allowed Brenda to flick through the channels and eat as Kensi called Hetty. Hetty hid her surprise well but it was still noticeable. She told Kensi to take a few personal days, and come back once she had found the right rehab facility and sorted it all out. Promising Kensi that she valued Deeks privacy greatly and no one would find out.

Brenda was set up in Kensi's room, she tried to tell Kensi she would take the couch but she stood firm and made her take the bedroom. There were two reasons for her stance, Kensi had been spending more time falling asleep on the couch watching crap TV than she spent in her bed anyway and if she tried to run she would have to pass Kensi and probably wake her up. Once Brenda was settled and unpacked, they made their way back out and she cautiously sat beside her on the sofa. Monty launched himself between them, laying his head on Kensi's lap as she petted him.

"What is Marty like now?" She asked, eyeing the photo on the wall.

"He's amazing." She grabbed her laptop, loading it up so she could share photos. "He is the kindest, bravest, most loyal man I know. I love him."

"Does he talk about me much?"

"In passing, he will sometimes talk about the time you took him to a surfing class to get him out the house during the summer. He surfs almost every morning now."

"He was such a good boy, he deserved so much more than he was given from life. Is he happy?"

"I hope so, he makes me happy and I hope I do the same for him."

They flipped through photos and heard the woman laugh for the first time. Kensi smiling, when Brenda reached out to stroke to photo of him laughing at Nell's birthday night out a few months before he left.

"I was wrong." she whispered. "He looks nothing like his dad when he smiles. That's my baby."

Brenda eventually left the sofa and showered, returning shortly to Kensi, handing her a small bag.

Kensi looked inside and was surprised to see it was her drugs.

"I was about to hit up but I want to do this, for me, and for Marty. I want to get clean. I'm ready."

Kensi got to work researching rehab facilities. Trying to involve Brenda in the process as much as possible, together they settled between two places. One allowed visitors on weekends, but was a little more expensive. Kensi handed Brenda her laptop.

"Read up on the two of them, see which one suits you more, ignore the prices we are both federal agents." She knew people always assumed federal agents made a lot more money than they actually did and she hoped the little misdirection would aid her recovery if her focus was on the right facility, not the payment.

Kensi grabbed Deeks laptop and opened up his banks website. She guessed his log in in minutes, making a note to tell him to change it, and had access to his account. It felt strange, Deeks and Kensi had never discussed money. It wasn't a topic they purposefully avoided, it had just never arisen. They both were the type of people to live below their budgets so neither of them struggled and the topic never came up. She had $4000 saved and would use that if needed she thought, hoping he had enough to make the deposit. Clicking on the button to open his savings account, she let out a small gasp. $57,000. She reminded herself that he was once a lawyer and must have taken some higher paid clients, add to that the times he spent undercover with no need to use his wage. She knew they had enough to put her into one of the better facilities she had chosen.

Kensi rang up the rehab centre that overlooked the ocean, it had large spacious rooms and a success rate of 97%. She wrote down all the information the woman on the phone gave her. Pack as though you are going on a week long trip, bring no electronics but do bring workout clothes and identification. Before passing the phone to Brenda, Kensi tried to give her a smile of encouragement and moved into the kitchen to give her some privacy.

Kensi arranged for Brenda to join the next day. It would cost them a $10,000 up front fee. Kensi was angered at this, not that she would have to pay the money but that the cost of getting clean was so high. She moved the $4000 from her savings into her main account, and then transferred $6000 from Deeks into her account. She knew that Deeks would want to pay it himself but it wasn't about the money. Kensi wanted to show him that she was there with him, every step of the way, anyway she could.

"It says I can get visitors on Saturdays?" She said, her voice shaking a little, it had been an intense day for her.

"I'll visit until Deeks comes back and then he can come visit. He'll want to." Kensi promised.

"Can you come with him when he comes back. It will be tough for him and I think he'd like for you to come."

"I'll be here this whole journey, for both of you, Brenda." Kensi said as the woman fell into her arms crying once more, thanking her in a broken voice, for taking care of her baby boy.

Kensi guided her into her room, covering her in the blankets before wrapping herself up on the couch. Falling into a quick sleep herself, exhausted from the day.

Her sleep was broken at one am when she heard a crash and a scream coming from her bedroom and saw the front, flying open in the wind.


	17. Chapter 17

Everything had happened so fast after that first scream, she had reached for her gun only to find it missing so she grabbed her knife and entered her bedroom. Two unfamiliar men were standing in the room, one had a gun to Brenda's head, the other had Mark in the same position. Mark's face was swollen, his jaw must have been broken at some point and he looked awful. He had obviously been tortured relentlessly. She raised her knife further, poised to attack, and could hear Monty barking from the kitchen, long growls echoing out as he pawed at the door to try and help Kensi.

"Put down the knife." One of them had yelled. She knew they could easily shoot someone if she didn't so she lowered her knife to the ground. Trying to make her way closer so she could knock the gun from their hand. Instead they had made her walk out the room backwards, hands raised. She did as they said, her goal to get everyone out of the situation alive.

"I'm sorry Kensi. They held me for three months until I gave you up, I'm so sorry." She noticed his wrists were raw, as though he had been bound for a long time, his arms covered in marks.

"That's okay Mark. You did good." She tried to tell him. The man pulled him closer and Mark struggled, managing to pull away and make a dash towards the kitchen in an attempt to grab a knife. He pulled open the door and the man spun him round, shooting him in the chest. He was dead before he hit the ground. Brenda screamed, the woman was hysterical as sobs racked her body and the man holding her eventually brought his gun down on her head and knocked her out in one blow. Kensi now had the attention of the men fully on her, two guns pointed at her head. Her brain working at double speed trying to find a way out of the situation. Monty stalked towards them over the dead body of Mark, his hackles raised and his teeth bared in a terrifying growl. The dog moved to stand between Kensi and the two men. He pulled back quickly and launched himself at one of the men, grabbing onto his leg and biting down. The other man took a shot, hitting Monty in the leg. He yelped in pain and it was enough to distract Kensi before she felt a punch hit her in the temple and everything went dark.

She woke moments later to see Monty and Mark being dragged out of the house and into her backyard while the others searched for information on Deeks. She tried to stand, making it to her knees before the impact from the early blow took full effect, and she crashed to the ground once more.

* * *

When Kensi next woke up, she tried to figure out where she was being held. Looking around her, she saw she was on the floor of a small room, pushing herself onto her feet and ignoring the pounding headache, she took a look around. The only objects in the room were a small closet, one single bed and two doors. One of the doors led to the hallway, it was locked from the outside. The other to an en-suite bathroom that. after Kensi investigated, she realised flushed only after the fifth pull and had a shower hose that only poured out cold water. She closed the door to the bathroom and tried to see out the window, pulling the heavy curtains back only to see it was boarded up from the outside. Instead she listened, trying to determine if she could hear something that would give her a clue to her whereabouts. She could hear no traffic, no ocean, no people. Only silence. Defeated she turned her attention back to the room, on the bed lay Deeks mom, and she had struck the two day mark of heroin withdrawal and Kensi knew that it wouldn't have been a pleasant experience in a nice rehab facility, never mind a dark and damp room. She grabbed a towel from the bathroom, wetting it and returning to hold it against Brenda's head. Hoping it was helping her in some way. She tried to chat to her but the conversation would be cut off drastically by severe cramps running through Brenda's body and Kensi knew it was only going to get worse for her.

The door opened half an hour later, the metal bolt scraping along the outside of the wooden door giving them warning. Kensi moved away from the bed, watching as the man carried two trays in his hand, their lunch. She had told Brenda to get ready, to run behind her as soon as she gave the signal but she didn't seem to be fully aware of her surroundings. Kensi knew this could be their only chance, she brought her hand up, bringing it down hard on his neck, she was tired, weakened, but determined not to sit back and be killed. The man fell into a crumpled heap, knocked out instantly, he remained unmoving on the floor as she made her way to the hall, before realising Brenda wasn't following. She tried to pull Brenda onto her feet, but the woman seemed unable to move, muscle spasms making her cry out loudly in pain. It had been under a minute since the man entered the room, and she knew she could have escaped if Brenda hadn't been there. The men were in the room in moments, they had heard the commotion. She felt a fist make contact with her face and tried to fight back, exhaustion and hunger stopping her from having the upper hand. The last thing she remembered was a blow to her ribs that had caused a pain so intense she had thrown up. At some point during the beating she had given into the darkness once more.

Kensi woke hours later, remembering the blows smacking into her, but she wasn't sure at what point she stopped fighting, turning her head and trying not to whimper in pain she lifted the wrist of the woman now beside her on the floor. She had been unconscious for seven hours. Brenda was twitching in front of her, crying out in pain occasionally. The withdrawal causing her body to fight itself, muscle spasms and hot flashes taking over her small frame. Taking in a deep breath Kensi pushed her self up from the ground, she tried to catalogue her injuries, her ribs were bruised but she doubted she had any breaks. Her ankle was sprained and she could feel cuts all over her body. She stepped over Brenda and headed for the bathroom. Catching herself in the small mirror, her body seemed to be covered in nasty blue marks, the bruises looking far worse than they felt.

She flipped the shower on, turning the shower head so a steady but light stream of water fell. Brenda took Kensi's hand as she half guided, half lifted her into the shower. They sat on the floor of the shower. She was ignoring the water that was seeping through her clothes and into her wounds, focusing instead on the woman in her arms. She seemed to be in less pain, the cold water helping her muscles and the hot flashes. Kensi whispered in her ear that it would be okay. She would get them out of here. As she held her she tried to connect this woman with Deeks, other than the eyes and hair they seemed to have little in common. Kensi knew the drugs probably changed her but she hoped that Deeks knew, deep down beneath the drugs, his mother loved him.

They lay in the shower for twenty minutes, Kensi shivered from the cold but refused to move away.

"You need to help me Kensi, just get me a little bit to get me through." Kensi rocked her and told her she could get through this. They were interrupted when the door opened and one of the men that had beaten Kensi entered. They heard the heavy boots make their way towards the bathroom before the door was kicked open. He knelt in front of the shower, ignoring Brenda as he growled at Kensi.

"Who are you?" she asked before he could speak. She was still no closer to finding out who had been sending the roses and they were holding her prisoner, at what point would she find out she thought.

"Shut up." He said which only infuriated her more. "How about a deal? Since you threw your food away earlier. I'll bring you more food for both of you, and I'll throw in this for the old dear?" he held up a small clear bag with a pale powder in it. In his hand was a small dosage of heroin, but it would have been easy to think it was the fountain of youth the way Brenda grasped for it. He swung his hand back before she could get to it. "Well?"

Kensi knew they weren't doing this out of kindness for the older woman. They knew she would simply go through this withdrawal the next day, and then they would no doubt continue to offer her a little more. A cycle of despair, incredible pain and short lived highs.

"No." The moment Kensi answered with the short angry word she felt punches in her arm. They were weak punches, but in Kensi's current state, with the bruises already creating patterns up her arms, the punches felt much worse.

"Help me." she begged pleading with Kensi as the man left the room, and her punches fell to stop as another spasm took over her body. Kensi felt helpless and listened as the door snapped closed, locking them inside. Kensi eventually pulled the woman from the shower and sat her on the floor as she looked through the closet. The door opened once more and the man returned with only one meal. She took it and heard the door snap shut once more.

"Eat." she said to Brenda, returning her attention to the closet. The woman ate the food at a rate that was fast even for Kensi. When she had finished eating, Kensi handed her a pair of sweat pants and a large t-shirt. She changed herself into a pair of sweats and an old sweatshirt.

"I'm sorry Kensi." She turned at the sound of her name, she could see that a sudden clarity had taken over Brenda, her eyes shining a little brighter, a little sadder.

"It's okay, it's was the drugs talking. We'll get through this." she promised. She climbed onto the bed beside the woman and held her tight.

"I'm so glad Marty has you." Kensi didn't know how to respond to that. So she held her tighter, and whispered in her ear.

"I'm the one who is lucky."

They fell back into the rocking motion Kensi had found soothed the woman in the shower as she desperately tried to think of a way out of the hell hole they were stuck in. As she pulled her closer on the bed she heard the slats move slightly. Climbing from the bed, she lay on the ground and slid under the metal frame. She noticed the slats of the bed were long metal poles that weren't properly attached to the bed, the screws rusting away at some point. She pulled a few of them off from the far ends of the bed and kept them hidden. Returning to sooth the shivering woman at the other side of the small bed, feeling like she had a trick up her sleeve at last. She felt Brenda hug her tighter and she ignored the pain in her ribs, the hollow feeling in her empty stomach and the swollen ankle. Focusing entirely on Brenda and making sure she got to the other side of withdrawal.

An hour later, according to the watch on Deeks mom's wrist, the door opened. The men pulled a chair in from the hallway and then a camera that was attached to a tripod was placed in front of it. The sight gave Kensi hope, they were probably going to request something in return for the hostages, and then they would be saved. A man walked in behind the 'muscle' and she instantly recognised him, pleased to finally know who was behind this. One of the men pointed at Brenda and she shook as Kensi gave her a smile, trying to wordlessly tell her it would be okay. She sat in the chair, continually glancing at Kensi who was sitting by the chair on the floor holding her hand, giving her encouraging smiles.

"Let's send Deeks a little message, we want you to read this." The taller of the men demanded, his voice cold and harsh. She took the paper and stared at the camera, grasping Kensi's hand a little tighter, she started speaking from the heart.


	18. Chapter 18

It was just after two in the morning and Eric Beale had been woken to an alarm going off on his phone, he grabbed it and attempted to snooze it before he realised it was the middle of the night. He grasped wildly until he found his glasses where he abandoned them the night before and reached to his bedside table and looked at the offending phone once more. It was an alert from ops. There had been a security breach on the main system and the security protocols he had initiated were kicking in. An alert would be triggered when certain files were accessed, the system had been compromised or certain people attempted to access the system. He couldn't be sure which alert was triggered until he had access to the main system at ops. He called Hetty, not surprised when she sounded just as alert as she normally did despite the late hour, he explained the alert as he stumbled around the room, trying to find his clothes. With orders to meet her in ops, he hung up and immediately returned to the bed, shaking Nell from her sleep.

Despite her initial protests, she was awake as soon as he showed her the alert and he waited to fill her in on his conversation with Hetty until the journey back to the mission. He and Nell had reached ops before anyone else and the place was empty. An unusual dead silence falling over the old building. Nell punched in the security code and the lights flickered on slowly, illuminating the building, and sparking it into life. The entire team had been called in immediately and they would join them soon enough, but at the moment, the pair were sitting alone in ops, trying to find the source of the alert. Nell felt like she was ready to fall back asleep and excused herself to go get the coffee ready while they waited on the systems booting up. Hetty arrived in OSP as quickly as she could. Hetty entered an almost empty building, placing her jacket in her office, she tried to find her familiar composure as she climbed the stairs, readying herself to lead her team through whatever drama she was about to find herself a part of. Walking into ops she noticed a nervous looking Eric, hair sticking up in all directions, his top on backwards. He was typing away furiously, but the rest of her team had not yet made it into OSP.

"What do we know Mr. Beale?"

"Mark's log in was used less than two hours ago. He is marked as deceased, that's why the alert went off." Hetty tried to cover her shock that Mark's log in had been used, instead she focused on the screen as he typed some more, stopping abruptly and staring at his monitor, his face twisted in horror.

"Mr. Beale?" He seemed to snap out of his shock and returned to his work.

"Sorry Hetty, two files were accessed." He pressed a button and the two files flew onto the screen. The personnel files of Special Agent Kensi Blye and LAPD Liaison Detective Martin Deeks. Their smiling identification photos stared out at them, Hetty stared back for a moment, before she shook herself from her pensive mood and snapped back into her role as boss.

"Have you traced where the message was sent from?"

"Not yet." Eric said flustered as he continued to type. "I'm trying but it's as though they have re-routed themselves through every country."

Seconds later Sam and Callen rushed into the room beside a panicked Nell who had informed them of the situation. Kensi hadn't arrived yet and it was starting to worry them, their fears only getting worse when they saw it had been her file downloaded. Callen and Sam both pulled out their phones and made attempts to call her, the phone ringing out every time. It was unlike Kensi to be unreachable, and it only served to cause them more worry. Callen was in the middle of leaving a voice mail, asking for her to call immediately when Eric let out a yell.

"Oh my god. The files were accessed from an cell tower really close to Kensi's apartment."

Sam and Callen started to rush out with Nell close behind them but they were called back by Hetty who spoke fast, understanding their urgency, but needing to pass them pertinent information to the case.

"Miss. Blye is not alone, she took personal days because Mr. Deeks mother is currently living with her." They gave a nod to show they understood, managing to hide their surprise well. Things felt even more dangerous now, as not only was Kensi missing but they had a civilian in the mix, Deeks mother had to be found too. They knew nothing of the woman, for all Deeks spoke for hours at end, conversations about his past were few and far between.

The journey to their friends house was tense, Sam was breaking every traffic law in his rush to find Kensi. Nell sat in the back seat, trying to calm herself. During the past three months she'd had a little bit of field work but was still not at the level she needed to be. That didn't stop her. Scared, but ready to help her friend, she grabbed onto her gun a little tighter. Preparing herself for whatever awaited them.

Pulling into her street they knew instantly that something was wrong, Kensi's front door was ajar, blowing open and closed in the wind. Sam abandoned the challenger in the middle of the road, running into her house, gun raised and ready. The team cleared the house with efficiency, finding no evidence of Kensi, or any intruders but their hurts dropped when they found a large pool of blood, but no body to match it to. Sam flipped on the lights and looked around for evidence. He stopped before he had a chance to investigate properly, a noise distracting him. He brought his finger to his lips and the trio stopped still in their tracks, listening intently. They all heard it this time, a small whimpering from somewhere behind them. Callen and Sam tried desperately to find the source of the noise. They moved through to the kitchen and the noise seemed to get louder, realising in sync that the whimpering was coming from the back yard. Swinging open the door, guns raised, surprised at the sight they found. They found Mark, dead with a bullet hole in the chest, and Monty, whining out in pain, a bullet in the dogs leg.

Sam scooped the dog up and grabbed a towel from Kensi's washing line, wrapping it around the dogs legs. Despite being in pain, Monty allowed the agent to wrap the towel tightly around his wound, never once snapping or biting. Only letting out a small strained bark occasionally.

"Hey boy, did you try to protect Kensi? You did good, good boy." He comforted the pup in his arms, the dogs eyes looking heavy and tired. Fear for his friend starting to rise even more but they felt a little calmer knowing that wasn't her blood they had stepped over. Sam shared a look with Callen, they were both trying to keep calm, their emotions fighting to take over. Nell was still staring at the body of Mark. It wasn't her first body, not in the least, but it was the first time seeing someone she knew like this, in the flesh. Callen took in a breath, turning away from the dead body of their former team mate, spinning Nell by the shoulders as he did so, snapping her from her daze.

"I'm calling Michelle." Sam muttered, carrying the whining dog back into the house. Nell pulled out her phone and immediately called Hetty.

"Miss. Jones?"

"I have really bad news Hetty." She paused for a moment, composing herself, surprised when her boss patiently waited in silence.

"Mark is dead, he was shot. Kensi and Deek's mom are both missing." The silence rung out in Nell's ears, for a moment she thought she must have dropped cell service, surprised when Eric's voice sounded out through the phone.

"Nell? Hetty just handed me the phone and walked out of ops. What happened?"

"Kensi is missing and Mark is dead."

"I'll search camera's around the area, see if I can see anything. Stay safe Nell."

Nell disconnected the call unable to say more, she stood for a few minutes in the garden, trying to regain her normal composure. By the time she returned to the house she found that Michelle had arrived already, their house was not far from Kensi's, and she was hugging her husband tight. She tried not to interrupt their moment but Michelle had caught her eye before she could back out the room and she pulled away, giving a smile to Nell before returning her attention entirely back to her husband.

"Kensi is one of the best. She'll be okay Sam. Pass me Monty and I'll take care of him." She lifted the dog from Sam's arms and moved towards her car, promising to be back soon.

The forensic team arrived a few minutes later, springing into action as the team returned to the car, hoping they would have new leads waiting for them at ops.

When they finally arrived back in ops they found their normally calm boss, shouting down the phone.

"I don't give a damn about protocols. His partner and mother are missing, so help me, if you don't pull him out your career is over." The voice on the other side must have considered that ending their career was certainly something the infamous Hetty Lange could do.

"Good, I'm glad to hear it. Just tell him to report to ops." With her orders given she hung up and saw the three stare at her. "Ops." she commanded, pointing up the steps, they rushed up the stairs at her word, Hetty close behind them.

"We have no footage. No leads." Eric said with a defeated sigh, as the team stared at the faces of Kensi and Deeks, still on the board.

* * *

Deeks was in the middle of a deal, he had planned to meet one last guy and then head back to his cover apartment, it was late and he was exhausted. When a familiar face walked towards him his heart raced a little in panic because he knew Omar wasn't supposed to meet him until the following week.

"Scott. I've got what I owe you." he said, knowing it would give Deeks an excuse to follow him away from the men he was currently talking to. They walked towards the parking lot across the road, and as soon as they were far enough away from interested ears, Omar started to mutter his orders.

"Your team needs you. I don't know what has happened, all I know is Bates apparently got screamed at from someone at NCIS and you are to return to ops immediately."

"Thanks man." Deeks yelled as he found his car, pulling away form the bar, hoping his team were okay, trying not to over think things.

It took him under twenty minutes to arrive at ops. He had gone through every emotion on the way over, panic, sadness, worry, then it looped around to trying to convince himself that they just needed him for an op. His heart stopped and he could no longer keep himself calm when he spotted a row of familiar cars in the car park, Kensi's usual spot was empty. Pulling into her space he ran through the mission doors and straight into Sam who appeared to be waiting for him.

"Sam, what happened?"

"Kensi and your mom are missing." Sam thought Deeks was going to punch a wall, his worst fears had been realised and his fist were balled and then he started to run his hands through his hair as his hands shook violently. Sam pushed on with his bad news, knowing his friend had to hear it. "Mark was killed too, we found him in Kensi's apartment. I need you to stay calm, so we can go up to ops and get them back okay?" Deek's gave a nod as he tried not to panic. Sam pulled him in for a quick hug, promising to get them back. They were interrupted when the doors swung open behind them and Michelle entered.

"Monty is going to be okay, we can pick him up tomorrow." Deeks eyes went wide and Michelle swore under her breath as she realised Sam hadn't told him yet.

"Monty was shot in the leg, probably trying to defend Kensi. The vet said he is okay." Deeks rushed away from his friends, needing to be in ops, actively doing something to find Kensi and his mom.

"Marty." Hetty said, and it shocked him to be addressed by his first name from his boss. "We will find both of them soon." she promised and he gave a forced smile, if anyone could find her it was this team. Michelle walked in close behind her, she offered to help in anyway she could and she fell into line with the rest of the team.

The team stood as Callen caught Deeks and Michelle up on the roses and the events of the past three months, including Mark's disappearance.

"Your mom is with her?" Callen asked after his mini-briefing, needing more information from him.

"Yeah, I came across her on an op and Talia took her to Kensi."

"Talia? As in the DEA Agent Talia? The woman Kensi hit?"

"Yeah, they're good friends now." Deeks snapped, and then quickly apologised. They waved him off, knowing that as worried as they were, Deeks felt the same, only magnified. Looking around the room he knew he had to tell them the rest of the story.

"My mother is on heroin. Kensi was looking at rehab facilities for her."

He could see the team trying to hide their shock, doing a terrible job, but in the moment he didn't care.

All he cared about was getting them back alive.

* * *

**_A/N: Huge thanks to XoxMountainGirlxoX who pointed out that the chapters read far better in this order. _**

**_Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, I can't believe I have over 100 reviews on this story. Thank you!_**


	19. Chapter 19

They had been taking turns to rest. Hetty had forced Deeks to take a sleeping pill and a lie down after he refused to nap, only giving in to Hetty after she reminded him he would be of no use to his mother and Kensi if he was exhausted, weak and unfocused. Despite knowing he couldn't focus on anything else, he had relented, throwing himself down on the sofa beside the bullpen. He had surprisingly slept for five hours, the pill working well and sending him into a deep sleep only five minutes after taking it, but his rest had been anything but peaceful. His nightmare had been so vivid he had been convinced it was real. He could see Kensi, trapped in the cave as his father advanced towards her but he couldn't move, couldn't help. He screamed out trying to warn as his father got closer, swinging the bat wildly. Before it came crashing down he heard another scream, his mother lay beside Kensi, covered in blood from a beating. He managed to break free from his bounds and ran towards his mother and Kensi, his dad turned to him and Deeks realised the bat was now a gun. He heard the trigger releasing and he was sure he was going to die. He had woken up to his own screams, realising it was another nightmare taunting him. Only this time when he woke the danger was still present, and he didn't have the relief of knowing that he and Kensi were okay. She may not have been in the cave any more, but Kensi was in just as much danger. He threw himself off the sofa and went to get himself cleaned up, he threw some cold water on his face in an attempt to clear his head of the dark images plaguing his mind, but no matter what he did, all he could see was the photo of Kensi with her throat slit. It was an image that had haunted him even when she was wrapped up in his arms.

Needing to know if they had gotten any further he launched himself up the stairs two at a time and back to his team. He appreciated that no one mentioned his nightmare when he returned to ops, but Sam gave him a look that told him they would be talking later. Deeks moved to join the group wordlessly, when no one spoke to update him he felt even more defeated that they had no new leads to follow.

Callen, Sam, Michelle, and Hetty all stood with him around the table staring at the large screens which still had the smiling face of Kensi staring back at them. Nell and Eric were sat at their desks, they were trying to find anything in the traffic camera footage from the streets surrounding Kensi's home that could help them. They seemed to be getting nowhere, every new idea only led to failure and every piece of footage held no clues. The entire team watched in silence as car after car drove through the streets but they knew that there were at least two roads from Kensi's house that didn't have cameras, it was unlikely they had slipped up and used one of the roads with a camera. Deeks stared at every person and car that appeared on the screen anyway, searching for someone he recognised, or a car that seemed familiar, anything that would lead him to Kensi and his mom. They had been working for hours and were no closer to getting them back when Eric suddenly jumped, and it caught the attention of Deeks who stood up straighter, Eric appeared to be frozen in place, hands hovering over his keyboard.

"What is it?" Deeks demanded in a low voice, panic taking over.

"We, uh, we just received a video message." He stuttered out. He pressed a few keys and a video appeared on the screen. The screen was black as he hovered over the play button, unsure if he should press it, not knowing what it could be.

Hetty moved towards the screen, taking a look at Deeks who now looked as though he was ready to pass out, he fought against his panicked body that was threatening to give out under him and was able to give her a nod. He had to see it.

"Play it." She commanded and the entire room seemed to hold their breaths at once, worried about what they were about to witness. Sam and Michelle moved to stand either side of Deeks, knowing he would need their support regardless of what they were about to see.

A small blonde woman appeared on the screen, she looked directly into the camera and everyone in the room knew instantly that it was Deek's mother, her eyes were exactly like the familiar and kind blue ones they saw everyday. She looked exhausted, but there appeared to be no injuries. For that they were all glad, unsure how Deeks would have reacted to the once familiar sight of a bruised mother. She was shaking slightly and they noticed a tiny smile pull at Deeks mouth. Confused, they followed his eye line to the corner of the screen were they spotted Kensi's hand, rubbing calming circles onto the palm of Brenda's hand as she wrapped her fingers around hers, trying to provide comfort to Deeks mom. The confirmation that they were together gave them all a little strength. They heard a man cough, obviously tired of waiting. In a shaky voice his mother began to speak and Deeks shook slightly, not fully aware of the hands that gripped him either side.

"Martin, it's mama. I'm so sorry baby. You got to help me. I'm so sick. I love you and I know you will help me. You were always my brave prince and you always saved your mom didn't you? Marty, the men want me to read you a note." She explained and her hands shook as she removed them from her lap and unfolded a piece of paper. Her eyes went wide and she stared up at someone off camera. "Oh no, please no." she pleaded in a small timid voice, new tears forming in her eyes. Everyone in ops seemed to still even more, fear over what she was about to say. They didn't have to wait long until a voice pushed the video along.

"Just read the damn note."

"It says that you have to chose which of one of us to save and who to leave behind."

She sobbed as she stood from the chair and her sobs could still be heard as the camera remained unmoving from the view of the now empty chair. Deeks was shaking so hard that Michelle could feel her body move with him. She gripped him tighter and stroked his back, trying to keep him calm. His body relaxed slightly when he saw movement on the screen and Kensi made her way onto the chair and into view. Her hair was in its natural state, much curlier than she normally wore it and it hid her face. When she was seated she flipped her hair back and Nell let out a small gasp as she noticed the bruises across her face, and then spotting the ones that were all over her body. Deeks realised she had been taking all the beatings, protecting his mother. He stared at her as she growled at the men that stood behind the camera.

The team waited on her speaking. She sat still, looking over in the direction of the sobs every so often and giving a small smile, blinking occasionally but making no other movement.

"Hurry up." a voice said as they saw the note being passed to her, she didn't take it so they threw it and it landed on her lap.

"No."

"Read the note." Someone yelled loudly, the tripod shaking a little.

"No." she retorted as though she was speaking to a petulant child.

"Read it." The voice growled.

"I'm not reading it." She smirked at the men, unwilling to back down. She refused to allow them to force her death on Deeks conscience. She wouldn't let him take the blame. Sam shook his head with a smile as he watched her stare down an opponent off screen, even when backed against the wall, Kensi refused to stop fighting.

"Make him chose." A new voice behind the camera said, the voice colder and more menacing than anything they had heard so far, and Deeks froze, recognising the sound instantly. He didn't have time to process it before Kensi started speaking, they thought for a moment she had relented, doing as she was told.

"Marty. Please hurry up and get your mom out of here." A hand flew into view and slapped her across the face and the video ended abruptly.

They stood in silence as all eyes seemed to turn to Deeks.

"Sanyo. The man talking in the background was Harold Sanyo. He is supposed to be in prison. He went after them because of me." He was ignoring everything else about the footage, ignoring the impossible choice he was being forced into making. Still trying to process it, he pulled himself from the arms of the Hanna's and stormed from ops.

"Give him a minute." Michelle said, holding onto Sam as he and Callen moved to follow him.

They looked at Hetty, unsure how to proceed.

"I agree with Michelle, give him a few moments to compose himself and then you can go and try to talk to him. Mr. Beale, please put the bullpen on the screen, I'd like to keep an eye on him." The camera flipped on and they watched as Deeks sank into Kensi's chair, they could see his shoulders shake as tears racked his body and none of them envied his position. Sam wanted to go and support his friend but Hetty stepped forward, taking hold of his arm.

"Sometimes, Mr. Hanna, it is better we allow someone a moment alone with their grief." They watched on the screen as he eventually calmed down and reached for the phone. Sam and Callen made their way down, eager to see what his plan was.

Noticing his team around him he flipped the phone onto speaker, allowing them to listen in to the conversation that had started before they joined.

"What the hell happened to him? How can he go from us having his ass in jail to getting a hold of my mom and Kens?"

"Apparently bail was set at $750,000. He wasn't deemed a threat and he paid it, he has been off the grid since and never appeared for his court case."

"Why did no one tell me?"

"Bates said it would distract you if you were constantly worried about Max Gentry having to make a reappearance. I think he was genuinely trying to help you on this one Deeks." They said their goodbyes with Omar promising to be there in anyway he could. Deeks turned to the men behind him. He was silent for a moment, trying to find the words.

"What do I do?" He finally whispered, searching his friends faces for the impossible answer.

"We. What do we do Deeks." Sam said, his hand finding Deeks shoulder. "You aren't going to do this alone." The words were said in a way that Deeks didn't doubt them for a second. It didn't matter though he thought. It wasn't their girlfriend and mother in danger. It wasn't because of him they were in this situation to begin with. The blame was entirely on him.

Callen led them back to ops and was the first to speak.

"Hetty?" he asked, needing some guidance.

"Miss. Blye is an agent first, in any situation with a civilian and an agent we prioritise the civilian. Miss. Blye has already reminded us of this herself." Hetty spoke, sounding strong but her emotions betraying her as her voice broke a little, nevertheless she managed to maintain eye contact with Deeks the entire time.

"I can't leave her there. Eric tell me you managed to find them somehow?" He demanded, refusing to accept that their backs were firmly against the wall.

"Sorry." was all Eric said. He and Nell had come close a few times, they were starting to understanding how they were re-routing the information but they hadn't been able to find a location yet.

* * *

It had been half an hour since the bomb had been dropped on them, everyone had tried at some point to talk to Deeks but he refused. Michelle finally pulled him from ops without giving him a choice and sat him in Kensi's chair, kneeling in front of him and taking his hands in hers.

"Kensi will understand. Even if that wasn't your mother you would still have to get the civilian out of there first, because that's what we do, all of us. Kensi does this job to try and protect innocent people. We will set up a trap, they are going to have to give us information to get your mom back to you aren't they?"

He gave a small nod, but couldn't speak, so Michelle continued.

"When they do that, we will find their weakness that will let us in. We will get them both back." Deeks didn't believe her and he was still trying to think of another option, drawing a blank every time. All he could think of was the conversation he had with Kensi a few months before, when they had been wrapped up in each others arms before the operation with the seven ruins. Her words seemed to be playing out in his head on a loop right now.

"_You would have found a way to make it work, You would have gotten me out of there, you would have chosen me."_

Here they were in the exact type of situation they had been talking about and he couldn't find a way to work it out. When she had left him in the body shop she knew where he was, she knew he would get out alive and she knew they had a plan to help him. He had no plan, and very little hope that he would ever see her alive again, despite what his friends were trying to say.

He heard the phone ringing out from the bullpen and ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

It was a video call, Deeks took a breath before nodding at Eric and standing in front of the screen, his team flanking him on every side.

"How are you Max?" Sanyo asked, sounding as though he was talking to an old friend, his entire face taking up the screen as he sat so close to his own laptop. "Although that's not your name is it. Martin Andrew Deeks. LAPD." He said with a shake of his head, but he was smiling, taking pleasure in the pain that was written on Deeks face.

"Why are you doing this?" Deeks asked, the defeat obvious in his voice.

"Oh I'll explain that a little later, I promise, right now though, I have to know the answer to my little question. We are all excited to hear what decision you came to." Sanyo moved away from the screen and he saw Kensi sitting on the floor beside his mother. Kensi wasn't paying attention to the screen despite Deeks and her team. Her focus was on his mother, focusing on the blonde woman in order to stop herself from breaking down at the sight of her family.

"Please..." Deeks voice broke. "Let them go and I'll come with you."

"That was the original plan Max my boy, I planned to kill you. I went to the beach one morning to find you and instead of finding you alone I saw you with this lovely lady." He gestured at Kensi who now snapped her attention to the man, giving Sanyo a look that said she wanted to kill him. "When I saw you together I thought how it would hurt to have to live day after day, visiting her grave, knowing you put her there. Finding your mother at her house was simply a bonus, allowing me to have even more fun. Now you won't be able to look at whoever you save without remembering the choice you made. You get to tell one of them you chose for them to die."

Deeks felt as though he was going to be sick, he could see his mother was crying, silent tears racking her body. Kensi was staring at him, her eyes were filled with sadness and understanding which only served to break his heart further.

"Make your choice Mr. Deeks."

"My mom." He said, his voice barely a whisper, breaking as he spoke. "I'll get my mom."

"No, Mr. Deeks. I want to hear you say it. I want you to say. I chose to leave Kensi behind to die."

"I, I chose to leave Kensi-" He managed to say before the tears erupted in his eyes. He forced himself to look at her. She was frightened, he could tell. She could never hide it from him when a case got a little too much for her and the look in her eyes right now was worse than he had ever seen. The guilt poured down on him some more knowing that she was scared and not only could he not help, but he was the cause. She looked at him, a sad smile playing on her lips before she mouthed 'I love you' and turned her attention back to his mom. The all listened as she grabbed his mom and spoke to her.

"Deeks is gonna come get you Brenda. I want you to stay clean when you get out of here okay? I need you to take care of yourself so you can take care of him. Please take care of him for me." she begged, unable to look at her team on the small laptop screen, not willing to say goodbye. Brenda pulled her head down and kissed her forehead, not dissimilar to the way her son had performed the same action of love countless times.

"I'm so sorry darling." She said sobbing.

"I'll text you the details of where to meet some point soon." Sanyo said and the laptop snapped closed, the call disconnected, and Deeks fell to the floor.

"Eric, please tell me you have a location?" Callen asked, praying they hadn't just signed the execution orders for Kensi.

"Sorry, I was only able to get a lock on it being in the greater Los Angeles area but I know how they are doing it now, I might have more luck with his text."


	20. Chapter 20

Ops was still as they waited, everyone stealing small glances at the phone on the table. The small devices silence appeared to be purposefully taunting them. The team looked everywhere but at Deeks face, they knew he was barely hanging on, and they didn't want to add their own emotions to his fragile state. They waited for what felt like hours, but in reality the text came in only a few minutes after the call had been disconnected. It sounded out once, a loud tone that shocked the silence of the room. Deeks reached for it with shaky hands and read aloud, his voice broken and low.

"3pm, Fountain Plaza, Grand Park."

"That gives us just enough time to get a plan into action." Hetty commanded, her voice fighting for control over her own emotions. She gave them pointed looks and watched as ops took to action once more, clinging on to the hope that they could get Kensi back alive.

Eric and Nell tried to find a location using the text, their hands moving double speed across the keys as they tried their hardest to find any information they could, their usual jovial banter missing, concerned looks taking it's place. Hetty was on the phone with LAPD, they needed a team of detectives in normal clothes walking the park, searching for something that would lead them back to Kensi. Omar had taken the call from Hetty and took charge, finding a team of detectives and promising uniforms to try and help. Sam and Callen were also on the phone, trying to track down an elite team. Snipers. The moment it was revealed it was for Kensi Blye, everyone in the Los Angeles area they called had offered their immediate services. They managed to find six snipers that would cover the entire park from surrounding buildings. Michelle got the number for Talia, she took the phone from Deeks hands, unsure if he had even registered the disturbance. Talia had promised to help in anyway she could and called Michelle back ten minutes later to tell her she had managed to get four young DEA agents and herself off duty in order to help.

Deeks sat in silence, watching his team desperately claw at the little hope they felt they had. Deeks knew Sanyo. He knew their attempts were useless and he was losing all hope fast. Michelle eventually nudged Deeks from his thoughts and he followed her from the building and into her car, she was close behind the challenger as they made their way to the boat shed. She had tried to start a conversation with him a few times, but his one word answers and grunts weren't conducive to a conversation so she left him alone with his thoughts, hoping they weren't pulling him to a dark place he might not climb back from. When they pulled into the familiar parking lot she grabbed his arm and held onto his hand before he could get out, he closed the door over and turned to her, letting her speak.

"I promise we will get your mom, and then we will do everything we can to get Kensi back. But I need you to be the brilliant detective you are, don't give into despair just yet."

He gave a nod and looked up, a little bit of hope starting to fill him as he took in the sight that waited on them. In front of the boat shed stood a large team of people, all ready to help. He gave Michelle's hand a squeeze and pulled away.

"Let's go get them back." he said, walking from the car, towards the group.

Sam and Callen were shaking hands with Andrews and Bartholomew, both of whom had dropped a case to be here for Kensi the moment Omar called. They gave Deeks hand a quick shake and a sorry, before Sam unlocked the boat shed and led everyone inside. It was a tight squeeze but they managed to get everyone into the small wooden building. When Deeks walked in, he froze for a moment, his eyes firmly placed on one thing. He had spotted a jacket hanging on the back of a chair. He stalked towards it, the crowd parting as he moved through them as though he was alone. He lifted the jacket so delicately, as though it might fall apart in his hands. He folded it reverently, placing it over his arms. She must have left it by accident at some point recently, the scent of her perfume still hung around on the fabric and was pulling him under into despair once more. Forcing back tears he walked back towards his team at the head of the table, making no reference to the jacket he held in his hands, he clutched it tighter as though it was a life raft and was keeping him afloat.

Callen took charge at first, placing a map of Grand Park on the screen, pointing out the area they expected him to arrive in with his mom. Everyone watched wordlessly as he explained that she was going to be dropped off and it was imperative they found who was with her. Mid sentence he was caught off when Deeks stood and diverted all eyes to him. He walked to Callen, and gave him a pat on the shoulder. Callen smiled as he saw Deeks return to them, a fire in his eyes and a determination clear in his stance. Deeks wasn't going to sit back and accept their fate. When he started speaking his voice was strong, he led the meeting with a tenacity that frightened a few of the younger team members, but gave strength to the more hardened agents.

"Sanyo is a clever bastard, he will know where the cameras are." He pointed at the cameras on the screen, circling them for everyone to see. "There are eight blind spots in the park, eight locations he has to pick from." He explained as he showed the locations on the screen.

"I will wait in place at the fountain plaza. The uniformed officers, I want you in normal clothes, walking around the perimeter of the park." A low murmur of 'yes, sir' travelled throughout the crowd. "I want eight teams in each of our blind spots, we have enough detectives to make three per team, team leaders are Callen, Sam, Michelle, Omar, Talia, Andrews, Bartholomew and..." He searched the room, unsure who else he trusted to lead.

"I'll do it." A voice said from the back of the room.

"Bates?" Deeks voice asked, confusion taking over his features as he watched Bates push through the crowd and stand in front of him.

"I'm here to help Deeks, tell me where you want me." Everyone watched as Deeks considered it for a few seconds.

"And Bates." He spoke, shooting a look of thanks at his boss before continuing his speech with the same tenacity as before. "These people are in charge of their locations, you take orders from them. If you see anything suspicious, alert your team leader." Deeks went around the room separating them into small groups. "Those not in a group, you will take the perimeter with the unis. It's unlikely they will use another entrance but better to be safe."

"Snipers are in position, they will only take shots on Hetty's command, she will be running the op from our base, she will have access to all the parks cameras." Sam interjected, passing on the information to Deeks and his team.

"It's important you remember that Sanyo is dangerous, manipulative and cruel. Do not approach him without at least radioing it in."

A murmur of agreement rang through the boat shed at Deeks final command. Looking at the team in front of him Deeks started to have a little hope that he would get Kensi back after all.

Sam pulled Deeks back as he was about the leave the room.

"That last order goes for you too Deeks." Deeks gave a nod, but wasn't making any promises.

* * *

They arrived in the park in small bursts from various directions, just in case the park was being monitored. Deeks couldn't see them, but he knew the snipers were already in position. As he walked to his own spot, the fountain plaza, he searched around desperately. Looking for any sign of Sanyo or his mother. He stood looking up at the fountain watching as the colours changed around it. He could see families, mothers and their children, couples on romantic strolls. A little girl, around two ran by him with her dark hair in pigtails, she screamed as she ran through the water chased by her older brother. The dark haired four year old boy ran around Deeks laughing as he finally caught up with his baby sister. Deeks thought about how he had dreamed of having kids with Kensi one day, little mutant ninja assassins he had joked once, but the sentiment had been true. He tried to look away from the crowd as it only served as reminders of what he might lose. What he couldn't see however, was any sign of his mother.

"Anything?" he whispered, knowing everyone over comms would hear it. He received murmured no's from throughout the park. They were now fifteen minutes late and Deeks was starting to panic.

"Deeks, I think that's your mom walking towards the park from the Hill Street side." Talia confirmed over comms five minutes later. He could hear Sam give orders to head to that side of the park and search. Deeks joined too, desperately searching for his mom. She saw him and ran towards him, a little shaky on his feet.

"Where are they?" he demanded as he checked her over, trying to see if she had any signs of injury.

"They dropped me off a few blocks away and told me to meet you here." Deeks was dejected. His heart sunk and he realised they had been outdone again. They had no lead to follow.

"Marty, they want you to call them." she said as she handed him a note, her voice gave away that she was on the verge of tears. He took the note as he pulled his mom closer. The number was written on the same piece of paper that had the words she had been forced to read. Deeks knew it was no coincidence and it was simply another way they could taunt him. He led his mother from the park and towards the car, angry and disheartened as he heard Callen take charge and end the mission. He ripped the comm from his ear, not able to hear Callen explain how they had been tricked once more.

He put her in the car and drove back to OSP, he couldn't speak, not even to ask what had happened. Sanyo was right, all he could see when he looked at his mom was Kensi's broken body. His mom knew he wasn't ready to talk and gave him the space he needed. The rest of the journey was made in awkward silence.

* * *

Deeks got his mother settled, sitting her on the sofa beside the bullpen. The team hung back trying to give them some privacy but their curiosity got the better of them and they didn't return to ops instead remaining in the bull pen. Hetty moved forward with a cup of tea and a sandwich on a tray.

"You must be hungry Mrs. Brandel. Eat." Hetty demanded as she placed the tray on the table, shooting a concerned look at Deeks. Deeks eyes met her but there was an anger in them.

"Your name is still Brandel?"

"A question for another time Mr. Deeks." Hetty cautioned, not needing her detective any more emotional than he already was. "Eat Brenda." She corrected herself.

"I'm okay. Kensi gave me her food so I could get through the withdrawal." the woman said, before another wave of sobs took over her body.

"Mom, do you remember where you were kept?" Deeks pleads, grasping her hands as though she may disappear, ignoring the feeling in his heart at the mention Kensi's name.

"No we woke up there and they blindfolded me until we had stopped round the corner from the park, they were just in a regular black car." Deeks gave his mom a kiss on the cheek as he stood.

"Eat mom." he says defeated, before walking past his friends and back to ops.

* * *

When Deeks entered ops, Eric threw the camera footage up on the screen so he could see his mom. He gave him a nod, unable to word his thanks. Instead he hands him a number and walks back to centre of the room, using the table for support, unsure if he could hold his own body up at the moment. The team join him around the table as they listen to the sound of the phone ringing. It cuts off after the thirtieth ring. They try again, and it rings out once more. Deeks thinks they are playing him but before they can try to dial it again, they receive a video call. Deeks gives a nod and stands straighter, ready to face Sanyo once more.

"Thanks for letting us know your mom got home safe, how is she doing?" He asked as though genuinely concerned.

"Where's Kensi?" he begs, pain coating each word.

"Patience Max." he said calmly, only causing Deeks to panic more.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Ah, well, now isn't that the question? A few reasons. You're a dirty rat for one, and I take great pleasure in getting rid of vermin that tries to infect my businesses. The reason I'm taking something you love away however, is you stole my family from me." The confusion must have been written on Deeks face because Sanyo gave a bitter laugh before continuing his story.

"I was in foster care for years, I was bullied and teased. I wasn't always the man you see now. I was shy and timid, scared of anything that spoke above a whisper, and then I met Allard. You remember him right?" Deeks made no move to respond but Sanyo didn't need him too. He knew they were both on the same page now.

"He was like a brother to me, and you killed him. I don't care if it was you that put the bullet in his brain yourself or not, it was your actions that led to the only person I considered family dying. Your 'brother' Ray? Well that bastard is either dead or in hiding. So I was going to just go after you, and then, as I've already told you, I saw your beautiful girlfriend and thought it would be far more fun to let you live with the grief."

"Do you actually think you will get away with this? I will hunt you down." Deeks said, his voice barely above a whisper but the anger in his voice made the hairs on the back of his team neck stand on end.

"Oh I have no doubt that you will try Deeks." he sneered his name but the smug smile didn't fall from his face.

"Once I have finished my business here I'm leaving the country. Good luck finding me, it will drive you mad as you try and hunt, but I'll be lying on a beach somewhere, drink in my hand with a beautiful lady by my side and one day in the future when you realise you will never find me, your team will find you with a gun in your mouth and I'll still be on that beach."

Deeks tried to speak, but he couldn't get the words out, they all seemed to be catching in his throat. Deeks back seemed to stretch as he stood up, forcing himself not to lose it. Deeks stared at the man with a look so dangerous, none of his friends had seen it on him before, his face was twisted into an almost animalistic snarl. Sanyo was taking a drink as he watched Deeks try to control his emotions. When he placed the glass down he took the laptop from the table, and started to walk with it.

He said nothing as he walked, but they watched as three men moved behind him, bats in hand. They reached a locked door and he slid the lock across. When he entered he flipped the screen around, placing Kensi in full view. She stood in the middle of the room, she was more in control of her emotions than Deeks. She looked strangely calm. Sanyo placed the laptop the chair, checking that everyone was in frame. Deeks realised they were going to make him watch as they beat Kensi to death.

"Before we begin Kensi, I want you to remember that this was all Marty Deeks choice, he could have gotten you away from here." She doesn't respond at first, she stares him in the eyes, refusing to show her fear. Pulling back her arm she punches him in the face.

"Don't speak his name." She says in a voice that, although barely above a whisper, was just as frightening as though she had screamed it. He landed on the ground with a crash and the team in ops watched as the group in the room rush to Kensi, one of them swinging a bat high in the air. The laptop gets knocked over during the commotion and they could no longer see a thing, just the sound of baseball bats raining down on the floor. Eric looked up, eyes wide.

"I have an address. I sent it to your phones." The team rushed from ops and into the cars, knowing it was unlikely they would get there in time to save Kensi, the address was twenty minutes away, what they did know was they would get there in time to make Sanyo pay.


	21. Chapter 21

The team rushed out into the parking lot and towards their cars, desperation etched on their faces. Deeks fumbled in his pockets trying to get his car keys as his hands shook violently from a mixture of fear, exhaustion and anger. He swore as he dropped them, managing at last to get to his car and unlock the door.

"Deeks." Sam yelled loudly, causing the team to spin and stare at Deeks as he made his way into his car. "You aren't fit to drive, get in my car." Sam grabbed him by the arm and physically pulled him out of his seat and towards the challenger and Deeks had no option but to get in the passenger side of the car. Michelle and Callen made a dash for her audi, knowing Sam had Deeks safe. They pulled away from the mission as Sam pressed a button built into the dash, the undercover siren. It blared loudly, it's scream forcing traffic to split in the middle of the road, creating a clear path for both vehicles. Sam was driving as fast as he could, the needle bouncing on the speedometer, but it still wasn't fast enough for Deeks. With each second that past, Kensi was more and more likely to be dead. The loudspeaker in the car rang out and Deeks hit the answer button with a little bit too much force.

"An ambulance is going to meet us at the scene." Callen yelled over the sound of the siren. He had realised that if they got there in time, perhaps they could save her. It was a long shot, but they needed something to hold onto. The call ended with no more being spoken and Deeks focus was back on the road, watching as Sam expertly manoeuvred around cars, with Callen and Michelle right behind them, never more than the distance of a single car away. Deeks pulled his gun out, making sure it was fully loaded, shooting a look at Sam.

"Deeks my gun is in the glove compartment. Make sure its ready for me to go." Sam said, his voice barely under control. Deeks had expected Sam to try and calm him, instead he realised the seal was almost as far gone as he was, noticing for the first time how tightly his hands were gripped around the steering wheel. The car swung off the free way without warning and weaved through the narrower residential streets as they delved further into the suburbs. They noticed more and more boarded up houses. The team quickly pulled into a condemned street, every house had boarded up windows and keep out signs plastered over the doors. They knew they were definitely in the right place when they saw an ambulance drive towards them from the other end, its siren blaring loudly in competition with the challenger.

There were nine houses in the small street, all with boarded windows and no sign of life. They rushed out of their car, guns raised ready to take a shot. Callen and Michelle joined their sides instantly, their own guns raised. They looked around desperately as the paramedics made their way from the van, unsure where to go, seeing the guns they returned to the vehicle, unable to help until the coast was clear. Just as the the team are about to split up and start searching through the row of houses, they heard a loud bang, a gun had just rang out.

The lock which had been blown open by the impact of the bullet fell to the crowd and the door it belonged to swung open, smashing against the side of the house with a crash. The house in the middle of the street now held the attention of everyone, they stalked closer, guns raised.

A figure appeared in the doorway, and the shock freezes the team for an instant as the figure staggers out into the light.

Kensi is alive.

She stumbles out from the garden and into the street, she is drenched in blood and little of her can be seen beneath the scarlet stain that seemed to coat almost every inch of her. She spots her team with wild eyes, not having noticed them before, managing to say in the smallest voice they'd ever heard from Kensi.

"Three dead, one unconscious." before raising her hands slightly, dropping the objects in them. A gun in one, and a metal pole in the other. Now red with blood, the pole falls to the ground with a crash, followed quickly by Kensi herself. Deeks is beside her in seconds as are the paramedics.

The two men get to work quickly, Checking her eyes for a response and her pulse. Ignoring the panicked man desperately begging his girlfriend to wake up they push on, one of the paramedics holds her head in place, as the other runs quick checks, not wanting to move her until they know it's safe.

"Pulse is dropping." One of them informs the other as he releases her wrist, ignoring the terrified team around them, their focus on the agent in danger. As he checks her body for injuries he makes a sudden movement that shocks them all. He grabs her side with a force they weren't expecting.

"She's been shot, we need to get her to the hospital now." He says to the other paramedic, before he runs back to the ambulance returning with a backboard. He quickly explains to them that he needs help rolling her onto the board. Deeks and Sam help roll her over, the paramedic using the time to feel her back.

"We got an exit wound." He says as they lift her into the ambulance, now placing pressure on the wounds as much as they can. "Her pulse is dangerously low we have to go now." Deeks tries to chase after them but they share a look with each other, knowing that the woman in their care might crash on the way to the hospital and he shouldn't be witness to that. They slam the door behind him, leaving Deeks standing in the middle of the street, coated in Kensi's blood as he watches the ambulance disappear from view.

"Deeks, let's go." Michelle yells, throwing herself back into her car as Deeks jumps in the passenger side, pulling away after the ambulance, managing to close the difference between them in minutes.

* * *

Sam and Callen remain at the house, neither of them make reference to what they just witnessed, knowing they won't be able to get on with the job if they do. Callen presses a finger to his ear, activating comms.

"Kensi is still alive, she's been shot and is being taken to hospital." He says before anything else, knowing the team at ops are just as worried as they are.

"Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asks, her concern obvious.

"With Michelle following the ambulance, we are entering the scene we need forensics."

"On it's way Mr. Callen, stay safe." Comms is shut down after her goodbye and Callen turns to Sam and with a nod they both follow the trail of blood Kensi left as she kicked her way out of the building, the blood drops getting smaller as they advance into the decrepit house. Stepping inside, the house looks like something from a gory horror movie. The light switch, covered in blood, is flipped on already and is illuminating the house of horrors. The thick, and once beige, hallway carpet is a shocking red, drenched in blood. Sam says a silent prayer that the blood isn't all Kensi's because there is no way anyone survives losing that much. The walls were splashed with crimson patterns, and weapons seemed to be lying everywhere. They step into the living room, cautiously swinging the door open, guns raised only to find the man the blood belongs to. Bullet wound to the chest.

They had confirmed one of the dead, the one they were concerned about was the one still alive and still in the house somewhere. They continued their search of the house, kicking in the door to the kitchen, they found it empty, no blood, no sign that anything had happened in there. Next they saw the room with the lock, the room they had seen in the video calls, Callen kicks the door as Sam charges in.

Three men lay on the floor and they noticed only one of them were breathing, his chest rising and falling in shallow bursts. Callen flipped the bodies of the dead over. There appeared to be no bullet or stab wounds, Kensi had beat these men to death with what appeared to be a mix of a bat, her hands and her feet. Callen shared a look with Sam that questioned just how much this would effect their normally strong agent. It was difficult enough to shoot someone when in the field, no matter how justified. Ending the life of another person with your own hands, that's a different experience all together.

* * *

One hour later and Sam and Callen finally arrive at the hospital. Hetty and Bates had coordinated the crime scene together, taking over and allowing the two exhausted men to join their team at the hospital. When they arrived they couldn't find Michelle or Deeks anywhere, expecting them to be in the waiting room. Before they allowed horrible thoughts of what if scenarios to take over Sam spotted a nurse and ran over, asking her if she had seen them.

"We put them in the family room, they needed some privacy." She says, with a concerned look that let's them know Deeks wasn't coping too well. She points them in the direction of the family room and gives them a sad smile. Callen says nothing as they walk to the small private waiting room, this particular room is normally reserved for bad cases, where the doctors expect to have to deliver some bad news to the families. They knock on the door, wanting to make sure they weren't interrupting anything, praying the doctor would have brought good news. Michelle opens the door, smiling when she sees her husband. She pulls him a little tighter than she normally does, pulling closer to him. Deeks is sat in the armchair, staring at his hands, the hands that are still covered in Kensi's blood. Callen and Sam sit on the sofa with Michelle, unsure if Deeks has even noticed them.

"Any news?" Callen asks. No answer. Deeks eyes never wavering from his hands. "Deeks. Any news?" He demands, not so much because he needs the information, Michelle could tell him what he needs to know, he pushes because he wants to break his friend from his thoughts, which Callen could guess weren't helping his emotionally state. Callen finally reaches over and grabs his shoulder, asking his question again, Deeks looks up at last and gives the men a shake of the head, slumping back in the chair.

"What happened back there?" Michelle asks, knowing Deeks needs the answers just as much as she does.

"Sanyo and two of the men are dead, the other one is in surgery." He pauses for a minute, taking in Deeks face, he seems calm enough. "She beat three of them, two of them are dead and then she must have found a gun and shot the other in the chest." Callen wasn't sure how he expected Deeks to react but a smile wasn't it.

"Wonder women. I only wish I could have killed him myself." He smiled but his voice was still low, not quite managing to allow the smile to reach his eyes, not until she was out of surgery and he had good news. He was serious about Sanyo, he wouldn't have been able to stay on the side of the law had he got his hands on him. He stands and starts pacing, walking the length of the small room and then retracing his steps. Methodically, without thinking, his feet trace circles in the room and he slips away from the group once more and into the dark areas of the mind. Callen wonders how he is still standing, he must be exhausted after the past few days. The doors to the small room they are waiting in open and Deeks head snaps around, looking for the doctor. Instead Hetty enters with Bates following close behind.

"I'm sorry Deeks, I should have told you Sanyo was on the run." The man says, his head hung in shame, hand outstretched, unsure if the offer will be rejected.

"It's fine." He manages to say, because he knows its no ones fault, and at the moment he has a glimmer of hope that Kensi is still with him. Looking at the man's hands he holds his up. "I would shake but, my hands." he trails off looking at them once more. "I'm going to go get cleaned up."

"Wait." Bates pleads, grabbing Deeks arm before he could leave. "I came to say we managed to get you out of LAPD now, I know you won't care much right now, but I wanted to let you know it's all dealt with, your pension and benefits are still intact as though the six months were over."

"Thank you." Deeks manages to say. "I appreciate that." Bates is right, he doesn't care. If Kensi doesn't make it he will find every last person who helped Sanyo make this happen and make them pay, without giving a second thought to LAPD or NCIS. He does appreciate the gesture for what it really is, an olive branch that Bates was trying to offer, reminding him of the kind boss from when he started back at LAPD.

"If you ever need help from LAPD please call?" He asks, looking at the team to extend the offer to them as well.

"Consider that offer returned Lieutenant Bates." Hetty says as shakes the man's hands. After Hetty checks on her team she leaves asking them to keep her apprised. Deeks walks her out of the small room and finds his way to the small toilet. He watches as the blood from his hand spins in circles before falling down the drain. He can see in the mirror how much of a mess he looks. He had been surviving on only five hours sleep when Omar had found him days ago and he had only had the broken restless sleep in osp. The adrenaline coursing through his body was enough to keep him going until he had news of Kensi. He dried his hands and rushed from the toilet back to the room, finding a doctor walking in just before him.

"Mr. Deeks?" The doctor asks,

"That's me." Deeks says breathless at the mans back as he spins into the room. "How is she? Is she okay? Is she out of surgery?"

"Deeks." Michelle whispers in her most calming voice.

"Agent Blye is out of surgery, she is doing okay at the moment." He says, his attention fully on the panicked man. "However due to the trauma her body underwent, we placed her in an induced coma." The doctor must have seen the panic double in the eyes of everyone in the room, because he hurried out his next statement. "This is just to give her body time to heal. She will be awake in around ten hours. She just needs this time to rest, it's nothing to worry about." He promised, this time, looking at Deeks directly. Smiling when he saw the life flash back into the young mans eyes. His smile quickly turned into a look of shock when he felt his legs being lifted of the ground after he was pulled in for a hug off the detective.

"Thank you, thank you." Deeks said, giddy with happiness, the giggling that had erupted from him seemed to spread and the entire room was laughing and hugging.

"I'll call ops." Said Callen, smiling for the first time in days.


	22. Chapter 22

With the good news from the doctor, a sense of relief washed over the room and Michelle demanded they all go and eat, it had been hours since any of them had even had a drink. Deeks practically skipped to the canteen, chatting away with his normal exuberance, Sam considered making a joke at his friends expense but when he opened his mouth he couldn't, seeing his friend happy once more was too good so he let him chat away. He never spoke of anything pertaining to the case, and they knew it was unlikely he would until Kensi woke up. Instead he spoke about the awful food they ate in the canteen the last time the found themselves at the hospital.

"Go sit down Deeks." Callen commanded, he could see the bags under Deeks eyes and he looked as though he could pass out from exhaustion at any time. Deeks found a table at the back of the large room while Michelle and his team mates grabbed trays and found a selection of food to take back to the table. When they returned they found Deeks, lying back in the chair, his mouth wide open, sleeping like a baby.

"Should I wake him?" Callen asked, looking at the food he had placed in front of the detective.

"Let him sleep, he needs it." Michelle answered, tucking into her own meal. Before pausing as though biting back words. She shot a glance at Deeks before deciding he was definitely in a deep sleep. "How do you reckon this will effect Kensi?" She whispered, looking between her husband and his partner.

"It's Kensi, she'll be fine. She has to be." Callen's answer was short and to the point, he had thought about it on the journey to the hospital and he couldn't imagine anything but an in control Kensi. Michelle's phone rang out before they could discuss it any further. She sat on the phone for a few minutes, laughing with whoever called her as the food on the table slowly disappeared. She was in the middle of a laugh when she reached out and smacked a hand, Sam had attempted to steal from her plate while she spoke. She hung up and shot him a look before delving into her fries.

"That was Miss. Jacqueline." she explained to Sam, speaking of the elderly lady that watched the kids when they were both called in at the last minute. "Apparently the vet called and Monty can be picked up, so I'm going to go and get him and then take him home with us until Deeks can pick him up." She stood and gave the two men a kiss before she left. "Take care of him." she demanded of her husband, she had a soft spot for the detective and it broke her heart to see him hurt.

* * *

They weren't alone for long, Hetty had found them and was heading towards their table with Deeks mother. Sam stood and pulled out a chair for Hetty as Callen reached an outstretched hand towards Deeks mom.

"Nice to properly meet you Mrs. -"

"Brenda, please." She asked in a small voice, a smile gracing her face. She was dressed in smart white cardigan and a knee length light blue skirt. Clearly Hetty and Brenda had some fun in wardrobe before they joined the team at the hospital. As she sat down beside Deeks she placed a small kiss on his forehead, being careful not to wake him. "Has he been sleeping long?" She asked.

"About fifteen minutes." Sam informed her with a smile, trying to put her at ease, she was clearly nervous.

"He was always napping as a kid, He could sleep anywhere! I once found him asleep on his surfboard in the back garden when he was practising standing up on the board." she laughed at the memory of her tiny boy, fast asleep, hands outstretched on top of the board.

"Do you want something to eat, a cup of tea maybe?" Callen asked his boss and friends mom as he stood.

"Tea from a place like this Mr. Callen?" He gave her a questioning look but she pushed on with an eyebrow raised. "Certainly not, but thank you." He laughed and extended the offer to the blonde woman at her side.

"Glass of water would be lovely."

He returned a short time later with a glass of water and a sandwich, when she opened it she laughed surprise.

"How did you know this was my favourite?"

"It's Deeks favourite, I must have picked it up without realising."

"I'm so glad he has this little family." she smiled as she looked at her son once more. "And Kensi, oh am I glad he has her." Without much prompting she began to speak of Kensi and what she had done during their time being held hostage. "I'd have given up if she hadn't been there. She told me that her and Deeks would get us out of there and they did, I can't believe it but they did." Callen and Sam just gave her a smile, knowing that they weren't fully out of the woods yet. If Kensi didn't cope well, it would rip their team apart.

"Miss. Blye is a remarkable agent, she and your son make quite the team." Hetty said, with a smile in her eyes.

"You all seem to be quite the team. Thank you, for being there for my boy."

"Deeks has saved all of us at some point." Sam answered, thinking of Michelle.

"Kens?" Deeks voice mumbled. "Kensi?" He yelled this time fear in his voice, gaining the attention of a few of the other patrons.

"Marty it's okay sweetheart wake up." His mom said in a calming voice, rubbing small circles on his temples, he woke up and grabbed her hands in a panic, easing his grip and allowing a smile to take over when he saw her and realised where he was.

"Sorry." He said sheepishly when he realised he must have screamed out. The shake of their heads told him they would pretend they had heard nothing. "How are you mom? Are you okay?"

"I'm good baby, tired, but Hetty and Nell, they helped me get dressed in this smart outfit and packed a bag so I can go to the rehab place. I went through the main withdrawal, but I want to stay clean. Can't break my promise to Kensi can I?" She asked, watching the smile on her sons face grow wider at the mention of his girlfriends name.

"Mr. Deeks I have already called the facility that was chosen by your mother and Miss. Blye and explained why she didn't appear. They can accept her today, Miss. Blye won't be awake for another few hours which gives you time to drop off your mom and pick up some essentials for Miss. Blye."

"I don't have my car, I can't leave." Deeks said in a voice that told them, it wasn't the lack of car that he had an issue with.

"I brought your car over Mr. Deeks and Nell will be arriving shortly to return me to ops."

Deeks looked in a panic as he took the keys from his boss, he felt as though he was being made chose between them again, Sam could see his hand start to shake with nerves.

"Kensi is going to be asleep for hours Deeks. Take your mom and get Kensi some clothes from her place." Callen told him, making it an order rather than a suggestion. It was what Deeks needed, otherwise he would never leave the canteen. He took the bag of his mom's stuff from Hetty and gave a quick thanks to the team and promised to be back as soon as he could.

* * *

The walk to the car was awkward, Deeks wasn't sure what to say to his mom and Brenda had years of questions to ask him. When they pulled away from the hospital he spoke in a voice so low she barely heard him at first.

"Are you okay mom?"

"I'm scared about going here but after the past few days I think I can get through anything." He smiled at that, she was able to talk about it directly which was good. It meant when she spoke to the psychologist at the centre they would be able to face her problems head on.

"Are you okay Marty?" her voice was full of concern, she didn't sound like the drug addicted woman he had stumbled upon a few days before, she sounded more like the woman that spent hours walking him back and forth from the beach just to keep him out of the way of his father. The woman who jumped in front of him hundreds of times, taking beatings 'meant for him'.

"Kensi's going to be okay, I'm going to be okay."

"She was so good to me Marty, she got me through it, I couldn't have coped without her."

"She has a habit of savings us Deeks." He joked, his mom joining in the laughter.

When they pulled up at the lavish mansion by the beach he could see her smile fade silent, panic starting to take over. He grabbed her bags and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"You can do it mom." He said, grabbing her hand and leading her inside.

"Welcome to Sirona Horizons, Can I help?" A young woman stood behind the desk, the look in hr kind eyes told them she was obviously well accustomed to fearful new residents.

"My mother is here to check in, it was arranged by Kensi Blye and Hetty Lange."

"Brenda Brandel?"

"It's Brenda Deeks." His mother corrected in a shy but strong voice, gripping her sons hand tighter, seeing a huge smile erupt on his face when she said her name.

"Well a warm welcome to you Brenda, my name is Chantelle, I'm one of the support staff here. Follow me." They trailed behind the woman as she pointed out the common areas and the back yard that overlooked the ocean and had plenty of private areas. She led them to her room, a small area with a single bed and a en-suite. She froze in the doorway, confusing both Deeks and the woman.

"Sorry, it's just very familiar to where they..." her voice trailed off and Deeks understood instantly. He was about to request another room when she led the way in. "I'll never be locked in will I?" she asked, sounding almost childlike in her questioning.

"No, never Brenda. The main door is locked for residents safety but you are here because you want to get better, not because you are under arrest." She gave them a moment to say their goodbyes and Brenda wrapped her arms around her son.

"You take care Marty, and look after Kensi and tell her how thankful I am for everything she has done."

"I love you mom. Do your best okay?" She gave a nod and he left her alone in the room.

"Has the payment all gone through?" He asked when he returned to reception, not wanting her recovery to be stopped by money.

"Yeah the initial deposit of $10,000 was paid a few days before by" She searched on her screen from a moment. "Miss. Kensi Blye." Deeks thanked the woman and left driving as fast as he could to Kensi's apartment.

* * *

The yellow tape was blowing across Kensi's door, it was no longer a crime scene but the tape hadn't been removed since no one had been home. He pulled it off and unlocked the door. The blood had been cleaned but it had stained the floor in her kitchen. A ghastly reminder of what could have been. Grabbing a bag from the top shelf of her wardrobe he grabbed a selection of things he thought she might need over the next few days and then filled a smaller bag with some of the products from her shower that she liked. He searched in the pile of clothes that sat beside her bed, finding his LAPD zipper she had claimed as her own fairly early on in the relationship. He sat on the edge of her bed with the clothes in his hand. His thoughts started to darken as he packed everything away neatly. Kensi had gone through horrible things, at the hands of men who had gone after her because of him. He replayed all the times she had spoken about how he would have chosen her, her faith in him had been so strong and yet, when it counted, he let her down. The thoughts plagued his mind and he had to get out of the house before they took over. Half way out the door he realised he would have to pick Monty up at some point. Grabbing his bowl, leash and bed he locked the house without a second glance. Trying not to think about what happened in that house, and the events that took place because of it. Instead he hurried back to the bedside of the woman he loved, only hoping she still loved him to.

* * *

The beeping is the first thing she noticed, it was loud and making the pounding in her head grow heavier. She opened her eyes and that's when she realised where she was, and how she ended up here. Kensi threw the covers off, finding herself in a flimsy hospital gown. She makes one attempt at getting out of bed. The searing pain in her torso telling her she made a huge mistake. She throws herself back and starts panicking when she realised she was alone. None of her team were waiting with her, Deeks should be by her side. She pressed the nurse call button and tried to calm her breathing, a friendly woman appeared after a few seconds.

"I'm Nurse Collins, good to see you are awake."

"Are my team waiting here?" She asks, needing to know what happened. Desperate to see Deeks.

"Yes, they are excited to see you. I'll try and find them, you are awake a little earlier than expected. They went to get food." Kensi's heart felt lighter when she realised her team are still here. No more than ten minutes passed and Sam and Callen burst into the room, not missing the look on her face when she realised Deeks isn't close behind them.

"Hey Kensi, how are you?" Sam asks as he sunk into the chair by her side. Callen grabbing the one at the other side.

"Fine, where is he?" she demands, looking at their faces. "They didn't hurt Brenda did they?" Her voice betraying just how panicked she felt.

"No Kensi, she is okay. We weren't expecting you awake for another two hours, he is taking his mom to rehab." She mutters something that sounds like thank god under her breath.

"I'm glad you're okay Kensi." Callen says, worry still etched on his face. "What happened in the house?"

"Callen." She snaps, her voice short and angry. "I'm not talking about that right now. I'm tired and I need to sleep." They understand what she is doing, they just hope she doesn't push Deeks out too. Sam stands up and gives her a kiss on the forehead, Callen grabs her hand and gives a squeeze before the leave her to rest and update ops.

"Sorry guys. Thank you for everything." she whispers before the leave the room, instantly regretting her cold tone.

"Any time Kensi, any time." Callen says, watching as she falls asleep immediately.

* * *

Deeks almost ran into Sam and Callen as he rushed into the hospital, a bag in one hand and an entire box of twinkies in the other. He doesn't wait to speak to them, or even allow them to talk, he can tell she is awake from their faces. They share a smile as he almost trips on his rush to her room. He enters the small room and finds her wrapped up under the blankets. He places a kiss on her head, tears forming in his eyes that she is okay. He drops the bag beside her bed and places the twinkies on the bedside table. It's not exactly a bunch of flowers but she'd only kill them he thinks with a smile. An hour passed and she still hadn't woken, and he still hasn't left. He was staring at the iv that was dripping into her arm, not able to look at the bruises on her face too long without the guilt taking over. He sees her arm twitch and his eyes shoot up to her face, she blinks her eyes awake, taking in the room, and the slightly dishevelled man in front of her.

"Your awake, oh thank god you are awake." He says, grabbing her hand and kissing it.

"Who are you?" she asks, her eyebrows furrowing in the middle. He grabs her hand tighter,

"Fern it's me, it's Deeks."

"My name is Kensi." she says, sounding concerned.

"Oh my god, Kensi, you can't re-" His sentence is cut short by a laugh that manages to be both part scream, part snort.

"Oh my god Kensi I can't believe you." She is still giggling but manages to speak between the laughs.

"Yeah, you did it to me when you were shot and I swore I'd get you back." He stands and kisses her forehead, holding her head gently as he does.

"I'm so sorry Kensi, I love you so much, I am so sorry." His words come out as pleas and their moment of laughter is forgotten fast.

"Deeks. Stop." She says, a harshness to her voice. "I don't want to talk about it, I got out." she breaks her hand from his and he feels his heart plummet. She manages to shuffle herself over in her bed, yelping out in pain once. Pushing Deeks away when he tries to get her to stop moving. Eventually she is happy with the space she has created. "Get in bed and cuddle me, I've missed you so much." The elation in his heart causes the tears he has been feeling to finally erupt. He climbs in beside her, holding her gently, careful not to bump any bruises yet he can still see her grimace as he hugs her but she only asks him in a delicate whisper to hold her tighter.

"Kensi?" He says, her little half snore telling him she is already asleep again. He kisses her head, mindful of the bruises that pepper her face. He knows her little attempt at humour was a cover, she was trying to bounce the conversation away from what happened before he even asked. Refusing to talk about what happened was exactly how she dealt with Afghanistan, and it was still plaguing her. He manages to pull out his phone without waking her and sends a message to Hetty asking her if Nate will be back in Los Angeles any time soon, a sense of relief washes over him when she tells him he will be back in just over a week. Happy that Kensi won't be allowed to hide behind her mask for too long, he pulls her closer. "I love you." he whispers before allowing himself to fall asleep too.


	23. Chapter 23

One week later and Kensi's pleas to her doctors result in her finally being released from the hospital.

She had spoken only once during that week about what happened in that house. Hetty had required a statement for their reports. When Kensi spoke it was cold and disconnected, she said the facts of what had happened without describe how she felt or reacted at any point. Deeks knew it couldn't go on like this, it had been how she had tried to cope with Afghanistan and in the end she was still having nightmares about that. He caught up with Hetty in the hallway, his eyes like those of a lost puppy as he tried to control his emotions.

"What do I do Hetty? She won't let me mention it, she hasn't even let me apologise."

"Give her time, and remember, Nate will be home in a few days." He felt a little better when he remembered Nate was joining them soon. Other than the first night when she had asked him to climb into the hospital bed with her, she hadn't touched him. She had yet to say 'I love you' back and she was refusing to talk about anything that was deeper than what was on tv the night before. Kensi was closing herself off again, this time, leaving Deeks on the outside.

He remembered the conflicting feelings he had tried to wade through after Kensi had left him in the body shop and he knew she must be going through something similar. In all honesty, Deeks felt he didn't deserve her forgiveness. He hadn't felt worthy of her before, but now he felt like a fraud. When she was sleeping, Deeks thoughts got darker, every time he thought she would wake up and tell him to leave.

Her mom had visited the day after she had been admitted, she had chastised Deeks for not telling her Kensi was missing but when she saw the guilty look on his face she gave him a hug and told him she was stronger than she looked, Kensi didn't get it all from her dad. Deeks didn't doubt that for a minute and hoped that Julia's arrival would lead to Kensi opening up. Kensi had slept while Julia and Deeks got caught up, he asked her if she could try and get Kensi to talk but the shouting he heard half an hour later followed by a crying Julia running from the room told him it had been a terrible idea. Julia returned to the room with Deeks and they found Kensi on the floor of the room, she had tried to chase after her mom and fell.

"I'm sorry mom, it wasn't your fault we didn't see each other for so long, I should never have said that." She cried, tripping over her words as she tried to apologise.

"Kensi, It's okay sweetheart. You have to talk about it eventually though." Was all she had demanded before the conversation took a lighter turn. They hadn't spoken about anything more serious than the weather since that day.

Kensi was standing in the room dressed in a pair of soft linen trousers and a loose top ready to leave. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and the bruises in her face had lightened considerably compared to the ones on her torso and arms. Deeks carried her bag and led the way out, the couple thanking the medical staff as they departed. Kensi was silent, as though in her own world, the entire walk to the car. She stopped abruptly when she realised she was standing outside Deeks car.

She stared at the car as though she was debating whether or not to get in, which only worried Deeks more. He gave her a moment to collect herself. In a small voice, the most vulnerable he had seen her since she woke up, she almost started to plead with him.

"I don't want to go back to mine."

"We'll go to mine, it's safe now." He doesn't mention any names, but he sees the realisation cross her face when she understands that with Sanyo gone, his house is theirs again. She gets in the car with a small smile, happy to be heading home to the one place she considers safe. She turns the music on and asks how the team are doing without her. Once again deflecting the conversation away from anything serious. When his response is to tell her they are worried about her she stops talking, and she lets out a small huff and Deeks can feel the walls being built around her rise up higher, immediately causing him to regret his words.

She walks up the path slowly, her wounds still causing her tremendous pain. She waits as Deeks catches up with her bags and unlocks the door.

"Monty!" She yells out in surprise and Deeks laughs at the genuine happiness on her face. The dog limps towards her, panting with excitement as he rolls on his back, eager to get scratches from Kensi. She gives him a few scratches before the small movement makes her feel dizzy with exhaustion, she throws herself down on the sofa, trying not to show Deeks how ill she feels. Desperate not to end up in hospital again.

"How is he?" she asks, the dog now laying on the floor beside the sofa so her outstretched hand can still pet him.

"He's okay, just need to change his bandage every few days." he gave his dog a quick pat before throwing her bags into the bedroom and getting her a drink, and sitting himself down at the opposite end of the sofa. By the time he flips on the TV she is already starting to doze off, he lets her rest and hopes that when she wake up, she'll be ready to talk.

* * *

Kensi had barely spoken since they got back from the hospital, only asking about Monty, TV and what was for dinner. He had expected her to shut down a little, it was how Kensi dealt with things, but it still broke his heart that he wasn't being allowed in. She was closing off everyone.

"Bed?" Deeks asks flipping off the TV and watching as she fights her falling eyelids.

"Your room is so hot, I'll take the sofa." She tries to smile as though there isn't a bigger issue than the temperature of the room.

"Kens, I'll take the sofa, you take the bed."

"Deeks your room is too hot. I'll stay here." She presses, sounding as though she is trying to convince herself as much as him that she is telling the truth. Although he isn't happy, he'd rather she was on his sofa than in her house alone. He grabs her a few blankets and wants to kiss her on the forehead. He is already half way towards her before he remembers she has been rejecting any physical touch between them. Before he is able to pull him away she grabs his collar and gives him a small kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry, I just need time to fix my head." her voice trails off but it's enough, she has kicked the first brick of the walls down and he vows to be there waiting when she was ready.

"I promised I'd be patient. You sure you don't want to take the bed?" She shakes her head and he can see she is already half way back to sleep.

* * *

She only gets a few hours sleep before she wakes up at four am in a cold sweat, saying a small thanks that she hadn't screamed out and alerted Deeks to her nightmare. The dream left her feeling trapped and she needed desperately to escape the small room that she now feels is closing in around her. She writes him a note and grabs his zipper and Monty's lead, the dog wags his way towards her, not unaccustomed to walks in the middle of the night when Kensi can't sleep.

Deeks wakes up, around four thirty am, unable to sleep knowing she is a room away. He had intended to lay down for five minutes and then carry her into the bed and take the sofa but the exhaustion of the week had taken over and he was asleep before his head hit the pillow. He figures there is still enough time to give her time in the bed so he gets up and tries to be quiet as he makes his way into the living room. The room is still, he cant hear the familiar breathing of either Kensi or Monty. When he sees the house is empty he panics, his heart dropping and nausea rising within him. When he spots a note on the table it settles him a little.

_Deeks, Had to get out of the house, taking Monty for a walk. _

_Be back before you are awake, but wrote this just in case. Kensi x_

He knows exactly where she will be heading so he grabs his keys and jumps in the car, closing the distance between them in minutes. He stands above the beach spotting her familiar silhouette sitting back on the sand watching Monty jump around. Any time the dog goes close to the water she yells at him and he runs back, thinking of it as game, allowing her to check his bandage isn't wet before shooting off down the sand again letting out a small bark. Deeks figures he better go and speak to her, and he slides in next to her on the sand silently. Neither of them speaking yet.

After a few minutes she speaks without turning to him, her focus on the sunrise in front of her.

"I'm sorry for how I've been acting, you deserve better but it's just a lot to process." she tries to explain, her voice so quiet he has to struggle to hear her over the sound of the waves.

"It's me who should be sorry Kensi, I made you a promise and I left -"

"Deeks." she cuts him off. Grabbing a hold of his hand. "You made the right choice, and I got out in the end."

"Please just listen Kensi." He waits to see if she is going to interrupt but she has stayed silent, her eyes never wavering from the ocean in front of them but the hand wrapped around his tells him she is still listening. "I love you so much, and having to leave you with them, it broke me Kensi. If I could take it back I would. I tried so hard to think of another way but I couldn't. We were going to follow them back to you when they dropped my mom off but they tricked us and I thought you were..." He doesn't say anymore, not able to verbalise that he had thought she had died.

"You done the right thing Deeks." She pulled herself closer to him, her hands gripping his tight. "I love you too. I realise I haven't said it but I kept thinking I'd wake up and this would be the dream and I didn't want to say it and make it harder for me."

"Do you want to talk about what happened? It will help I promise."

"Not yet. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Kens', I'm here no matter how long it takes us to get over this." He holds her and she cries properly for the first time, allowing sobs to rack her body, each one causing ripples of pain to course through her body. He holds her for a long time, letting her get out some of the emotions she has been trying to hold back. Eventually she settles, but she never let's go of him, and instead falls closer as he kisses her on the forehead, promising her that he loves her and will wait until she is ready to talk.

"How is your mom getting on?" she asks eventually, switching the subject away from herself.

"I don't know." He admits.

"Well how was she last week at visiting?"

"I didn't go. It was too much." She grabs his watch wordlessly and tells him to pulls her up, her voice sounding more like her regular tone. Whistling for Monty to follow she grabs Deeks into a hug. He feels the tears falling a little from her eyes again and onto his top but he makes no mention if it, just happy that she is opening up, even if it's just a little.

"Visiting is from 9am onwards." She says as she breaks the hug and wipes the tears sheepishly. "Lets go get ready."

* * *

Monty curls himself up on his dog bed as soon as he limps into the house, the little adventure exhausting him too. Kensi manages to get herself into the bathroom before realising she can't move her arms high enough to remove her top.

"Deeks." she yells after a little internal debate. He appears in the doorway a worried look on his face. "I can't get my top over my shoulders." she says with a little laugh but he knows having to depend on him is bothering her so he pulls it off gently without commenting or referencing the catalogue of injuries across her torso, or the bandage wrapped around the bullet wound and pulls her clean top on, before leaving to get himself dressed.

Taking a look in the mirror she notices for the first time how bad her injuries look from the outside. She knows there is no point trying to cover the ones over her body, they are black and blue, some with angry welts still hanging around. The ones on her face she decides to try and cover with foundation. The bruise follows along her jaw, up along beside her ear and temple and across the forehead and onto her scalp. The foundation helps cover it a little and she accepts it will have to do.

"Ready?" She asks, seeing his face she can tell he is nervous about visiting his mom so she grabs his hand and leads him from the house.

* * *

"Hi, we are here to visit Miss. Deeks." Kensi says, trying to ignore the woman staring at the marks on her face. They follow her into the garden where the find her reading a book.

"Mom?" Deeks asks and she spins around, wrapping him in a hug.

"I wasn't expecting you to visit Marty." She pulls back from the hug and that's when she spots Kensi standing behind him and she pulls her in for a hug too, Kensi cries out at the squeeze but when Brenda tries to pull away Kensi pulls her closer.

"Who is this Brenda?" One of the staff members asks before the three of them get to catch up.

"This is my son and daughter in law, Marty and Kensi" Kensi and Deeks can't help but share a smile at how she introduced Kensi.

"Pleasure to meet you." she says as she offers a hand, shaking Deeks had first, and then Kensi's.

Before she pulls away from Kensi she spots the bruises on her arm and turns to Brenda. "Is this the woman you were held with?" Deeks feels Kensi going stiff at his side and he runs small circles at the base of her back, trying to comfort her.

"Yes." Brenda says with a mixture of pride and sadness.

"Well consider our counselling services extended to you."

"Thank you, my work will no doubt force me to speak to someone from there, but thank you for the offer." Kensi's reply is polite but conveyed that she was finished discussing it.

"No problem. As of next week we will need you both to attend a family session for twenty minutes every Saturday if possible." She gave them an encouraging smile and left them alone. Brenda walked them over to a bench that looked out over the cliff and onto the beach and ocean below.

"Do you two want space?" Kensi asks, not sure if she is interrupting by being here.

"Kensi." All he says in her name but she knows he is trying to tell her to stay. She takes a seat beside Brenda and begins questioning her.

"Are the people nice? Did we chose the correct place?"

"They are so kind, and patient. I have a session tonight and they want me to talk about my marriage." Her shaky voice gives away her nerves about that situation.

"Just be honest and talk openly without fearing judgement and it will help so much mom." Deeks said, but Kensi felt his eyes looking directly at her.

They didn't stick around long after that. His mom had a group session and she seemed excited to get to it so they promised they would visit her the following week.

* * *

"Deeks." He answered the phone on loud speaker as he drove back from the rehab centre.

"Hey man." Sam said. "How you doing?"

"Not bad, Kensi is with me." He said, warning him not to ask about her.

"Hey Kensi." The conversation stopped and it was obvious Sam had expected to speak to Deeks on his own.

"I'm not fragile Sam. Just tell Deeks why you called."

"Sorry Kensi, Marks funeral is tomorrow. Just wanted to see if you guys would be there." She managed to hide her shock as the sudden flashback of seeing him being blasted in the chest hit her.

"We'll be there." She managed to stay, not convincing Deeks or Sam that it hadn't effected her.

"Service is at eleven."

* * *

Deeks woke up the next morning to find that Kensi had stayed in bed beside him, she was wide awake and he wasn't sure if she had actually slept, but she hadn't run from the house, and that was a start. She tried to get dressed without his help, but gave in when she felt one of her stitches pulling.

"Deeks, help." her voice was shaky and she looked as though she had seen a ghost. She pointed at her dressing as she took in huge breaths, trying to get air into her lungs. He picked her up as gently as he could and lay her on the bed, unwrapping the wound. She hadn't pulled any of the stitches out but she had bumped the bruise around it.

"Please just let me help Kensi, I don't mind helping you get dressed until the wound heals."

"I'm not an invalid Deeks." she growled.

"And I don't think you are, I just want to help."

"Dammit Deeks, just because you feel guilty doesn't mean you have to hang around and look after me." She knows she has gone too far, and she sees the hurt register in his face but she all she could think was that she is broken, and he shouldn't have to stick by her because he somehow thinks it's his fault. "Sorry. After the funeral I'll go back to mine."

"Kens-" He starts, his phone ringing and breaking him from the conversation.

"Just answer the phone." She says, pulling her top down, managing to avoid her dressing this time. Deeks returns minutes later to tell her the team are meeting at osp after the service. They drive in silence, both thinking about how the other deserves something more than they can offer, but too scared to say in case the other finally realises and leaves them alone.

* * *

The service was quiet, the young couple were to be buried together and Hetty had planned a beautiful funeral for them. The team didn't have a chance to speak to each other at the service, they had all arrived at separate times and Kensi was nervous about seeing them all for the first time. She had spotted them as the sat a few row behind them, and the opposite side of the church. She gave them a small wave before sitting.

They listened as friends of April and Mark Campbell told stories and laughed at the memories of their friends. When their friends stepped down the priest stood up and asked who was going to speak from NCIS, they all looked at each other in panic, no one had prepared for it. Kensi took a look at the coffin and stood, slowly making her way on the stage, holding onto the podium for support, she pulled the mic forward and looked out at Hetty, seeing her boss smile for the first time since she had walked into the hall.

"Mark Campbell was not a natural born agent. He wasn't a sharp shooter, he didn't know how to get a confession out of a suspect, and he was too kind to manipulate someone into false information. Despite this he endured and survived three months of hell and then gave his life to protect the lives of his fellow agents and an innocent civilian. That wasn't him being a good agent, that was him being a good man. I am lucky enough to be surrounded by good people on a daily basis and his family at NCIS will work to continue doing what he died to protect. The right for innocent people to live full lives, I only wish Mark and April had the same opportunity." She paused and looked to the coffin where the man lay, he had tried to save her and she felt the weight of his death heavy. She spoke directly to him and blocked out the others in the room. "I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better Mark." She stepped down and found her way back beside Deeks, grabbing his hand and trying to find comfort in his touch.

* * *

The team were in their cars and on their way to osp before they could catch up and that was how Kensi and Deeks found themselves alone once again.

"Deeks, about this morning." She sounded once again on the verge of tears and fought with herself to control it.

"It's fine Kensi."

"No it isn't Deeks. I'm upset and my mind is a mess and I'm taking it out on you and all you are being is patient and kind and I'm throwing it in your face. My head is a mess Deeks, I can't cope."

"Kensi, I'm so-"

"I swear to god if you apologise once more Deeks." She said, laughing between tears. She grabbed his hand on the centre console.

"You need to speak about it."

"I know." She finally admitted it, she felt lighter at admitting to Deeks that she was weak and needed help. The look on his face made her feel like what she had admitted had been the opposite of weak. He looked proud.

"You can speak to me but maybe we should both chat to Nate? He is back in a few days."

"I don't want to but I know I need to. I don't want to do it on my own?"

"Then I'll be there, every step." He said as he pulled the break on outside osp. "Ready?"

"Yeah."


	24. Chapter 24

Deeks held open the heavy doors to the mission and Kensi slipped around him and into the familiar room, a little nervous about seeing her friends again. Nell rushed towards her before she could bury her nerves and was the first to try and pull her in for a hug. Kensi yelled out when she pulled her in a little too tight.

"Bullet wound Nell." she explained, her breathing instantly more laboured. "Sorry."

"Oh gosh, Kensi I'm sorry." Nell stuttered, swinging her arms away from her as quickly as she could, Kensi waved her off and sunk into the chair at her desk, unable to walk any further.

"Miss. Blye!" The excited voice yelled out and stopped Deeks from asking if she was okay, instead he grabbed Callen's chair and pulled in beside her as Hetty appeared behind them with a bottle of whisky in her hand. Sam and Callen were close on her tail, carrying glasses for everyone. "It is good to see you back in our building my dear. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, thanks Hetty." She spun in her chair and shot Deeks a smile when she heard him huff. "I'm okay." She said with a roll of her eyes, she knew it was still a lie but at least it wasn't the dreaded 'f' word.

"Good." Hetty said as she began to fill the glasses. "Thank you for your speech at Marks funeral, your words will help a lot of his family and friends deal with their troubled emotions at this time." Kensi gave her a smile, realising she was the only one that knew of Hetty's connection to their former team mate.

"Well, it's true, what I said, not everyone is supposed to do this job." Kensi said as everyone moved to grab their glasses from Hetty. "Maybe some of us should learn when to stop." She mumbled under her breath, more to herself, not realising she was speaking aloud. Deeks had managed to hear while everyone was caught up in the middle of the bull pen, clambering around Hetty to get a drink.

"Do you really mean that Kensi?" He asked, concerned his voice barely masking the fear he felt at her words.

"I don't know. I couldn't not do this, but how many times am I going to have a gun held to my head before someone gets it right." Sam interrupted them before Deeks could respond to her statement. He was frozen in place for a second at her words, what frightened Deeks about what she said was the calmness with which she stated it. As though she had resigned herself to dying in the field. He locked what she said away, promising to mention it to Nate.

"How's your mom?" Sam asked, not realising the intensity of a conversation he had stepped in the middle of.

"Okay, thanks." Deeks said, being shaken from his thoughts by Sam's question. "She was happy to see us on Saturday."

"That's great, she's in the right place Deeks. What about you Kensi? Doing okay?"

"Sorry I haven't called Michelle to thank her for helping, tell her I'll try and drop in to thank her myself at some point." She replied in a strong voice, trying to let her team know she wasn't broken. Regardless of what she felt inside.

The clinking of a glass had sounded everyone's attention and saved Kensi from having to answer the question she had obviously avoided, but Sam and Deeks shared a look of concern before turning their attention to their boss.

"Mr. Deeks, as you all know, has been an important part of this team for many years now. It is finally time for him to leave LAPD behind and join NCIS as an agent." She waited for the cheers from his team to die down before she continued. "This Friday, Deeks will join the new influx of agents joining our ranks. Of course Mr. Deeks will be able to skip most of the hurdles and return to work as normal, but it will be good to know someone won't be trying to steal you away from us."

"Bad choice of words Hetty." Kensi replied sardonically. "I think enough people have tried to steal your agents this year."

"Oh my god, Kensi, your attempts at humour are getting worse." She snorted at Deeks words and everyone else joined in the teasing.

"This Friday?" Sam asked Hetty a few minutes later, returning the conversation to Deeks agency ceremony.

"Yes, noon at the South West Field Office headquarters in San Diego." Hetty informed them.

"Road trip" Eric yelled loudly, looking over to Nell who was nodding enthusiastically.

"If we leave straight after the ceremony there will still be time for a cook out, Michelle and I will have everyone over to celebrate."

"Sounds great, thanks man." Deeks said, not realising he had reached up and grabbed hold of the dog tags he had been wearing, hidden under his tops, since Sam had given them to him.

Everyone else agreed, that the entire team needed a celebration and a relaxing get together. They also hoped that it would help Kensi too, make things seem a little more normal just hanging around as a family, but with no cases to pull them apart.

"Miss. Blye, you not enjoying your drink?" Hetty asked looking a Kensi's untouched glass with concern.

"Can't. Antibiotics for the wo-" was all she managed to say before she felt herself being taken over by a yawn. "Sorry." she apologised sheepishly. The team stayed quiet, they'd all endured their fair share of trauma and understood how exhausting the recovery could be.

"Home?" Deeks asked, receiving a nod as she replied again. "Meet you guys in San Diego on Friday?" He said with a smile as he pulled Kensi from the chair.

"We wouldn't miss it Deeks." Callen promised, as they started to say their goodbyes and everyone began to leave, having been granted the day off.

* * *

When they found themselves alone in the car Kensi could see Deeks was stuck in thoughts, his hands tapping the wheel as they normally did when he had something running around his mind.

"Deeks? What's wrong?"

"Friday, I leave LAPD on Friday. I'm happy about but I'm a cop, not an agent."

"Deeks, you've been an agent for a long time in everything but title. It's not that much different, anyway, it's time you worked where you are appreciated." She said, letting him know she wasn't a fan of the LAPD or how they treated Deeks for most of his time with them. "Plus you won't have to do two reports now."

"You're right, I'm excited, just nervous."

"I'll be right there cheering you on."

"You going to put on a sexy little cheer leading outfit? Bringing pom poms?" He smirked, attempting to wink at her.

"And you ruin the moment." she said with a badly suppressed giggle and a raise of her eyebrow.

"That's okay, I've got more moments." She recognised the words as the same words he had spoken to her after her disastrous interview with the department of justice, bitter sweet memories being brought to the surface.

"Can we stop and get doughnuts?" she asked, finally looking away from him, her face breaking into a grin when she saw he was already pulling into the Krispy Kreme parking lot.

* * *

Sometimes a nightmare has you flying awake in a panic, drenched in sweat, screaming out for help and panting for your breath, trying to calm yourself enough to return your heartbeat to a normal rhythm and eventually surrender yourself back to sleep. Other times the nightmare ensnares you, you can't wake up, you are trapped, pinned down and even the voice that is trying to pull you back into the real world isn't enough, it only adds to the panic of the nightmare. Your safe reality, starting to bleed into the twisted horrors of your mind and the horrors following you back into conciousness. It was, unfortunately, the second scenario Kensi Blye was currently stuck in.

She was stood in the middle of that small damp room, a thin metal pole gripped tight in one hand, ready to trade blows with the men now stalking towards her with sadistic smiles on their faces. She heard Deeks yell her name, and she began spinning desperately, eager to try and find the source of voice. She couldn't see him anywhere. He shouted again and she dropped her bat in shock at how close his voice sounded, it was like he was standing right beside her. Her distraction gave them time to move and with each blow, she knew she was being pulled under, no longer able to fight back. She was dying. Deeks yelled her name once more and she suddenly saw him right above her, she held onto him with a furious grip, wild eyes staring into his and she could see the panic in his eyes as he stared back.

"Please get me out of here Deeks." She pleaded, wondering why he wasn't rushing her from the house of terror.

"Kensi you are safe." His voice was low, and masked the distress he was feeling. "Look around, you are in my house, in our bed." She blinked and searched the room, not believing him. Fingers still holding onto his shoulders as though she was scared to let go, her hands leaving marks on his skin she was holding on so tight, but she was oblivious. Eyes darting around the room, she spotted the familiar outline of his bed, trailing her eyes up to find the small square windows and curtains she recognised as his.

"Safe?" her voice small and timid, and so unlike Kensi.

"Promise." he said, unsure if he should close the small distance between them and hug her yet, the wild look still in her eyes. He didn't want to scare her in her vulnerable state.

"Your mom?" still not calm yet, she had to know they got out.

"Perfectly healthy, uninjured, and in rehab thanks to you."

"Okay." She said, removing her hands and pushing herself from the bed and into a seated position. "Okay." she repeated, her breathing was heavy and he could see her trying to calm herself down. He stretched his hand out and lay it close to hers, in seconds she snatched it towards her. Finally sure she wouldn't react badly to his touch he shifted himself further down the bed until he was sitting beside her and pulled her in for a hug. They sat like that for longer than comfortable, Deeks feeling the muscles in his back starting to ache from the strange position but she seemed calm and he didn't want to unsettle her. She untangled herself from his legs eventually and climbed from the bed, slowly, in order not to bump her stitches. She was still shaky on her feet as she moved from the bed, the nightmare leaving her on edge and panicked. She found her way to the front door, checking it was locked as he stood in the doorway watching her. It was the fourth time that evening she had checked the lock. She climbed back into bed and curled up close to Deeks. Giving him a kiss and whispering her thanks into his chest as she fell back into a more peaceful sleep.

* * *

It was nine am and Deeks was darting in and out of rooms while trying to get ready. They were both a little tired after Kensi's nightmare had woken them in the early hours but they filled themselves with coffee before attempting to get ready for Deeks big day. As he pulled the little blue dress she had chosen onto her and zipped it up, he could see she was feeling self-concious and embarrassed. He tried to put on the dress as fast as he could so that she didn't allow herself to feel bad about it for too long.

"That spray tan worked well." He commented. Her bare legs were on show in the dress and the tan had covered the bruises well. If you knew they were there you could spot them but unless you searched her arms and legs, it was well hidden. She had decided to wear the dress rather than the trousers. She wanted to get dressed up and celebrate all of Deeks achievements. That and secretly, she wanted to remember the way Deeks looked at her with longing, rather than concern. A small smile twitched at her lips when she saw him doing just that as he stepped back and took her in. He was quiet and stared for a little too long, normally she would have made a comment but it felt good to be seen as sexy in Deeks eyes once again, rather than the tender caring glances she had received since she woke up in the hospital.

"I'm really really proud of you Marty." She said breaking him from his daze, reaching up to give him a kiss, her hands starting to run through his hair as she deepened the kiss, eager to take things further, but the ache in her side was getting worse with each second and her breathing more strained. Pulling away and pressing her forehead to his she whispered, "I'm too exhausted to move now." she let out a small laugh and felt him laugh along with her. She pulled away before her legs gave out, letting herself fall onto the bed. "Can you grab my shoes." She asked, pointing at the impossibly high heels she had picked out to go with her new dress. He bent down and sat in front of her, balancing on his toes, placing one of her high heels on her feet. He started to dramatically push at them, acting as though they wouldn't fit.

"Yeah, your definitely one of the step-sisters." She reached her toe out and tapped him gently on the chest, the slight nudge causing Deeks to lose his balance, and for her to fall into a fit of giggles. "You have the sense of humour of a two year old Kensi Blye."

"And you have a heightened sense of humour?" she asked. "You just joked I was an ugly step-sister."

"Did I say ugly?" He said as he found his way back onto his feet, she rolled her eyes and lay back on the bed. He slipped the shoes onto her feet and lay down on the bed beside her.

"Let's get you to the ball Cinderella." She said as she got off the bed, snorting at her own joke.


	25. Chapter 25

They had made it half way to the naval base in San Diego when they stopped in at the toll booth. Kensi was accustomed to making this journey, NCIS South West Field Office was only twenty minutes away from Camp Pendleton and she had made that journey hundreds of times. She had also wanted to drive but Deeks had refused, citing 'Doctors Orders', managing to make her mad with those two little words. She watched with a small triumphant smile as he desperately fished around in his pockets. Finding nothing he opened the glove box, finally finding some loose change, he managed to gather up two dollars. Kensi pulled out her purse and handed him two dollars and 50 cents without saying a word. He paid the fee and drove off back into the traffic.

"You forgot there was a toll didn't you?" She asked with a smug look on her face, he pulled his grip on the wheel tighter and didn't look at her, but he could feel her eyes boring into him.

"No." His face told her that he had, in fact forgotten all about the toll and he knew she could tell. He didn't want to deal with 'I told you so', especially when it was the doctor that wouldn't let her drive and not his fault. So he changed the subject hoping she'd play along. "So, San Diego. Home to the Coronado Bridge, world famous zoo, miles of gorgeous coastline and of course, birth place of one, Kensi Marie Blye."

"That's the one." She smiled, looking forward to returning to San Diego, she hadn't lived there that long, her dads job kept them moving. But she remembered being nine years old and being taken to the same building they were currently on their way to for a family event. She had great memories of that day, it had been the first place she tried home made churros and she had fallen in love with them. Her phone started ringing, she looked and didn't recognise the number and answered the phone with interest.

"Special Agent Kensi Blye." She said, suspicious of who had her number.

"That always makes me smile, you with your big important title."

"Hey mom." She said with relief unable to stop the smile from hearing her mom's proud words.

"How is my baby? Are you okay?" Julia was trying to keep her voice calm, but it was obvious she was still worried.

"I'm okay mom, Deeks is looking after me." She sent him a thankful but shy look, and he held her hand gently while she pushed on. "What's up?"

"I'm already here and I was wondering if maybe Jeff could join us today? I know you haven't met him yet but he is eager to get to know you. But I understand you might not want to meet mom's boyfriend on dads old stomping ground." She laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood. She looked at Deeks but he was only glancing back between her and the road with worry. Unsure of what Julia had said. She caught him glancing again and chastised herself for being selfish, it was Deeks day, not hers.

"Bring him along mom, the more the merrier. I'm looking forward to meeting him."

"Okay love you Kensi, see you soon."

"Love you too." She hung up and placed the phone back in her pocket, her other hand never leaving Deeks. She felt herself dozing off but fought against it, deciding instead to force herself to keep talking in an attempt to keep herself wide awake. Scared she would have a nightmare in the car and ruin the ceremony for Deeks.

"My mom's boyfriend is coming along too, they will meet us there."

"Your mom's coming to the cook out? That is so nice of her." She could tell Deeks was touched at the thought, but didn't fully understand what was happening.

"Deeks she's in San Diego, she drove down for the ceremony earlier this morning." He spun his head around to her, and then quickly back to road as though he had just remembered he was driving.

"Why?"

"I told her the news and she wanted to come and support you, she's proud of you." He furrowed his eyebrows in an attempt to keep back emotions and he hadn't responded. To Kensi he looked like his face had fallen into a growl and she immediately felt bad. "What's wrong? Do you not want her there? I'm sorry she asked if she could come and I didn't think you would mind? Maybe I can call." She said, trying to get her phone back out her pocket.

"Kens' no." He cut her off in a soft voice that betrayed him, showing her he was close to tears. "Of course I want her there I just didn't expect her to make the drive or be proud of me."

"Deeks." Kensi whispered back, as though scared to shock him. "My mom is Deeks number one fan, there was a point before we got together where I warned her if she asked me if we were dating once more I'd stop coming around." He laughed and she could tell he wasn't so heady with emotions so she kept talking. "Seriously, and she said 'Kensi one day you'll come around and say Mom as usual you were right' and she was so smug when I finally called her. She joked that she was going to call us Densi because we were never apart."

"What?" he asked with a teasing smile, as she snorted at the silly name. "Densi, like Brangelina, or TomKat." She tried to explain but he was officially laughing at her now, she didn't care in that moment however, because his smile looked magical to her in that moment.

"That is hilarious Kens'." He finally managed to say between laughs. Their light mood following them the rest of the journey.

* * *

"Special Agent Kensi Blye, LAPD Detective Marty Deeks. Here for the Agency Ceremony." Deeks said as he handed both their badges to the man working the security gate. The young naval recruit took a close look at their ids, looking intently at their faces before handing them back with a nod and opening the gate.

Kensi fixed his shirt as they stood beside the car, pulling his collar flat and smoothing down his jacket.

"Ready to become an Agent, Detective?"

"Yeah, but what am I supposed to do now, I can't 'Detect' anymore."

"Deeks what exactly do you think we do all day?"

"You, don't do very much, other than look at my very cute butt." She rolled her eyes and walked away from him towards the building but he quickly closed the distance and wrapped his hand in hers. Leaning down and giving her a kiss on the head. When they entered the building and cleared security they made their way into the large hall, her mother spotting them instantly and pulling her daughter in for a hug. Swinging away from her when she swore under her breath in pain. She waved her mom off and gave her a kiss letting her know she was okay. Her mom turned her attention to Deeks.

"I'm so proud of you Marty, you excited?" Kensi could see he was a little overwhelmed, it had been long time since he had supportive parental figures.

"Yeah, thanks so much for coming Julia." She gave him a look that told him if he tried to thank her again he'd be sorry.

"This is Jeff." A man stepped forward, he was slightly taller than Julia, he face was a storybook of laughter lines and his short dark hair was peppered with white.

"I'm so pleased to finally meet you two, Julia talks about you both a lot." He said and he shook hands with the pair. He seemed nervous as he stood by her mom's side. Kensi wondered what his job was, he clearly seemed a little intimidated surrounded by the strong military presence in the room. A question for another day Kensi thought as she looked around the room. The gym was being used as a event hall. Agents from all over the South West were here with their families, around 30 new recruits were getting their badges. She spotted a man she recognised well stepping towards her.

"Kensi?" The man asked, before pulling her in for a hug. She turned to her small group and introduced Gunner Littleton, a friend of her fathers. He recognised Julia immediately and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Good to see you again Littleton." She said with a smile.

"I'd love to stay and catch up with you both, but I'm looking for a Marty Deeks? Any idea?"

"That would be me."

"Should have known you'd be hanging out with her, she's trouble." He joked.

"Little bit late to be warning me." He said back in jest, Kensi just rolled her eyes once again and pushed the two men away from her, watching as Deeks was led away from the room. When he was out of sight she immediately found herself a seat, not having wanted him to worry, her mothers hug had caused her more pain than she had let on. They hadn't sat down for more than a second before she heard the familiar tones of two men bickering like an old married couple.

"Tell him Kensi." Sam said as way of hello. "San Diego has never won a world series, super bowl or an NBA final." He pulled up a chair next to Kensi, shaking hands with Julia and Jeff while Kensi thought about what he had just said.

"Sam's right." She said.

Callen just huffed and introduced himself to Jeff, realising that the pair were, as always, correct. Hetty joined shortly after with Nell and Eric. Eric looked pale and a little scared.

"What's wrong with you?" Callen asked in a whisper as the ceremony started up.

"Two and a half hour journey with Nell and Hetty." Callen, Sam and Kensi all gave him a pitying look that caused Julia to giggle. The room fell into a hush around them and the ceremony was starting.

* * *

Deeks stood out like a sore thumb. The group of around 30 new agents stood at the front of the stage. The women all had their hair pulled back, not a hair out of place. The men, all had short hair, some of them were clearly marines with buzz cuts. They all wore suits. The men with ties pulled tight and shiny shoes. Their faces were serious, mouths in straight lines across their faces, attempting to hide the excitement that clearly existed below. Not Marty Deeks. He had a smile on his face, and occasionally sent a wink in Kensi's direction. Deeks also had his messy hair in its normal, styled by pillow fashion. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top. He looked smart, but certainly out of place amongst the sharp suited agents. He had received a few peculiar looks from the other agents around him. Their judging faces, not understanding how he had managed to pass his tests. Their attitude changed quickly when the Gunner started to speak, gaining the attention of everyone in the room.

"Martin Andrew Deeks, former LAPD Detective, NCIS Liaison officer. You have done exemplary work for NCIS and it our honour to finally welcome you into our ranks." Deeks gave a quick glance at Kensi and her mom who both looked as though they were bursting with pride. " Special Agent Marty Deeks." He saw his teams smiles grow even louder at his new title. "along with the Los Angeles division of NCIS have saved the lives of countless civilians, as well as they lives of most of the people in this room at some point. Agent Deeks was a key player in the mission to bring in the nuclear weapons from Russia." A few of the agents gasped as they realised Deeks was one of the legends of the L.A. Team, and Deeks fought to keep himself calm, not having expected to be faced with that particular case that day.

"Welcome to the Agency son." Deeks stepped up and shook his hand, taking his new identification from him. He held it like it was the holy grail. Deeks walked back to his seat at the front of the room. The rest of the ceremony moved fast, with the usual rousing speeches about service, sense of duty to civilians and country. When the gunner gave his cue that the ceremony was over the LA team burst into applause, cheering for Deeks. He quickly weaved amongst the now moving crowd, finding his team in moments. He got a few pats on the back, a hug from Julia and a peck on the cheek from Nell. Kensi was just staring at the badge in his hand. He handed it to her and watched her open it, her face shining with the brightest smile he had seen from her since she had been released.

"Photo time." Julia demanded, and the team stood in close, Hetty smiling brightly in the middle of her team as Julia snapped a few photos.

"Let's get going, don't want to be late for Michelle." Sam said and everyone started to head out of the doors.

"Wait you two." Julia said, taking a few more photos of the couple. Then passing the camera to Jeff and getting a few shots of her with the pair.

"Mom, you coming to Sam's?" Kensi asked, leaning on Deeks, suddenly feeling tired from the lack of sleep and the long day.

"Jeff and I have decided to make a little weekend of it in San Diego, but lunch next week?" She asked the pair.

When they had left Deeks could tell he was practically holding all of Kensi's weight. He looped his arm under hers and walked her slowly back to the car.

"Sorry." She replied sheepishly as she leant against his chest while he searched for his keys.

"Nothing to apologise for Kensi." he said, placing a kiss on top of her head. He helped her climb into the seat and rushed round to his own side. By the time he put his belt on she was fast asleep, he secured her seat belt and pulled away, letting her get some well needed rest.

* * *

They were about five minutes away from the Hanna household when Deeks reached across and gently shook Kensi awake. He didn't want her to wake up with a fright and have to go into the cook out shaken up.

"Kens? You ready to go in now? We are almost here?"

"Did I sleep the entire journey?" She said, awake instantly, staring out the window and seeing the familiar roads of Los Angeles pass her by. "Deeks you should have woken me, that's not fair on you." She said in a panic.

"Kensi you didn't get much sleep last night, anyway it meant I didn't have to listen to your awful music" He teased to make her feel better about it but she still felt guilty. She didn't respond at first, instead she pulled down the mirror and started fixing her make up.

"Special Agent Marty Deeks." Kensi said eventually, noticing that she still had his badge in her hands. He laughed a little and kept his eyes on the road. "Deeks it's a big deal and we are all really proud of you finally becoming an agent. You've been one for years, you just needed the title to go with it."

"Thanks Kensi." He said emotionally, pulling on the brake and starting to climb out of the car.

* * *

They made their way into the house and had managed to beat Hetty, Nell and Eric. Kensi entered the Hanna's house to find Michelle and Kam in the house alone. Kam was staring at her as though she was a stranger.

"Auntie Kensi?" she asked, her voice shy.

"What's wrong?" Kensi asked, looking at Deeks and Michelle for help, unsure what to say to the nervous little girl.

"Did you really get shot by the bad guy?"

"Yes." she said, straining herself to move closer to Kam. "But I'm okay, and we got the bad guys in the end."

"Okay." she said, somehow happy enough with Kensi's answer that she was able to move on and give her Uncle Deeks a hug.

"You okay Kensi?" Michelle asked with concern in her eyes. She hadn't seen Kensi since the hospital.

"I'm fine Michelle. Where is everyone, we spotted the challenger outside?" Kensi asked, changing the conversation quickly. Michelle pointed her to the backyard, shooting at look at Deeks that didn't go unnoticed by Kensi.

"Agent Deeks." The chorus of voices yelled out as he made his way into the garden. Deeks quickly realised that more than his team where there. Omar, Talia, Andrews and Bartholomew were all sat around the table on Sam's patio. They moved to hug Deeks and give their congratulations. Quickly turning their attention to Kensi. They gave her quick hugs but could tell she was a little overwhelmed, they ignored her thanks for helping and returned to the table.

Sam went on with a long list of food items he had purchased for the cook out, 4 different kinds of burgers including a vegetarian option, two salads, and a dessert. Hetty, Nell and Eric found their way into the garden around ten minutes later and if Eric had looked scared at the navy base, he was positively terrified now.

"I'm never travelling with just those two again." he whispered to no one in particular as he slid down into a chair, his face bright red, whatever had been the topic of discussion had embarrassed him. Kensi couldn' help but snort at his face and Nell's expression told her that she was finding it as funny as Kensi was.

Kam came running out and gave her Dad and her aunts and uncles hugs, her babysitter had arrived to pick her up. Around an hour later Omar and Bartholomew received a call from LAPD and had to leave, promising they would catch up soon. Andrews and Talia tried to make excuses to leave soon after but it was obvious to everyone they were leaving together. Kensi shot Talia a satisfied look that said 'we will be talking about this.' Soon it was just the team left. They sat around the table as the food was cleared and the drinks were finished. Kensi wasn't drinking and Deeks was sticking to one so he could drive the both home but they were still enjoying the evening. The conversation was light, and jovial. Most of the team had took impromptu turns in pulling Deeks aside and congratulating him on his achievements. Hetty had even pulled out a little box, a present from the entire team. It was a name plate for his desk. On the front it said 'Special Agent M. Deeks'. On the back, the side that would face him, it said 'Shaggy'. All in all it seemed to be a perfect night. They had been in Michelle and Sam's garden for hours when the front door rang and Sam jumped up to get it. He returned moments later with a tanned, tired but smiling Nate.

The little group swarmed on him, welcoming him back with, literal, open arms. He stood around and grabbed a beer catching them up as much as he could regarding his most recent posting. It had been hot, dry and sand storms had been the worst part of his experience. Sam knew he had been in Dubai, but could say nothing more. The team accepted what he was saying, they knew some ops had to stay classified.

"We still have some food left in the kitchen if your hungry?" Michelle offered when he complained about the plane food.

"Sounds good, Kensi mind showing me where the kitchen is."

"Subtle Nate." She grimaced and led him slowly away from the group.

* * *

The pair stood in the kitchen and Kensi pottered around, finding the tubs of food that had been sent back into the house, she wasn't sure if he was actually hungry but she needed something to distract her so she put a plate of food together while waiting for him to start talking.

"How are you feeling Kensi?" He asked eventually, after observing her for a few minutes.

"Tired and not ready to talk to you about anything yet." She said curtly placing the food in front of him and leaning on the counter while he started to eat.

"When will you be?" He pushed. He knew Kensi all too well to allow her to wave him off.

"Tomorrow, just let tonight be about Deeks okay?"

"Okay." He said gently, surprised she had agreed to see him so soon.

"Deeks needs to speak to you too." She said as they made their way back out to the surprised looking group. They had either expected Kensi to come storming out of the house, or for them to be in there for hours.

"That was fast." Eric commented, before he received, what the team assumed was a kick to the shins by someone sitting close to him, because he let out a breathless whine and grabbed his leg tight.

"Nate wanted food, he has food, we came back out." She said daring any of them to question her. Looking around and seeing they were one seat short and Nate would have no where to sit, she slipped into Deeks lap, pointing Nate into her chair. The team looked at them with a hint of shock, not only where they still not accustomed to the pair being so open about their relationship but Sam shared a look with Deeks and saw he was as surprised as the rest of them. Kensi wasn't the type to show she wanted comfort, not in front of her team at least. She rested her head on Deeks shoulder, and turned the question back to the car Sam had been telling them he wanted to restore.

The group drank some more and started to reminisce, the little group seemed to get louder with each round of drinks and Deeks could sense it was causing Kensi to get more and more tense. He made excuses for them both before the slipped out and headed home. Nate reminding her as she left that they would speak the next day.

* * *

**_A/N: In my research I couldn't find anything about Agency ceremonies for NCIS but wanted to have the moment he recieves his badge to be a bit of an event. I hope you will excuse the embellishments I made in this instance. Thanks again for reading._**


	26. Chapter 26

Deeks woke up shaking, his nightmare had left him feeling sick, cold and on the verge of a panic attack. He tried to sit up without waking Kensi, but when he turned to check he hadn't woken her he realised she was already wide awake, staring up at him with concern in her eyes.

"You okay?" She whispered.

"Yep." He said, pulling closer to her and laying back down.

"Deeks. Don't lie, you've been hiding things from me because you think I'm too delicate to handle anything." She whispered into his chest as she curled closer to him, ignoring the growing pain in her side.

"It's not that. I just don't want you to have too much on your mind."

"Maybe let me decide what is too much?" She asked, starting to brush her fingers through his hair in a soft calming motion that had him starting to drift back into sleep. "You want to talk about it?"

"No, not right now." He pulled closer to her. "I'm okay, we're seeing Nate tomorrow anyway." He explained and let her stroke his back, until eventually they both fell asleep.

Deeks next woke up to the blaring of the alarm, the space beside him in the bed empty and cold. She had clearly been up for a while. He stumbled into the living room, his eyes adjusting to the light. He found her wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa watching TV.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked, falling into the space beside her.

"Just woke up a little early." She forced a smile at him and returned her attention to the show that was on. Deeks was unsurprised to find her quieter than usual. He knew she hated talking about things with him, let alone other people. He also instantly regretted closing himself off to her the night before, now she was doing the same thing, obviously thinking that she was burdening him with her problems if that's how he saw it with her. He knew he was further on in his recovery than her, he had continued seeing a therapist after Sidorov, finding it helpful. Kensi on the other hand went to the psychologist after Afghanistan until she was cleared for active duty and never returned. Then she'd had the events of the past few weeks hanging over her. He knew he had to talk to her but he couldn't find the words to explain the horrors of his dream. Seeing her beaten and left for dead by Sanyo's men while he was tortured, his jaw aching when he woke it had been so vivid.

The choice to open up to her was taken from him, before he could decide what to say she had stood and went for a shower. Leaving him alone in the living room

"Pancakes?" He asked fifteen minutes later. Pushing the plate towards her when she walked into the kitchen, hair wrapped in a towel. The genuine smile lit up her face and she gave him a quick kiss before delving in. "You ready for today?" He asked, knowing the first step to them dealing with this was to talk. She still wouldn't let him even apologise for it.

"Nope." She said between mouthfuls, making him laugh with the way she answered him. "I'll be fine though, what about you?"

"Yeah, I think it's important we talk to him. I can be good to talk about how you feel."

"I'm sure it can Deeks." She replied sarcastically, clearly referencing the night before.

"Kens'." He started but she cut him off before he could say any more.

"Ignore me, I'm grouchy and tired. Sorry." She said embarrassment clear on her face and she gave him a kiss on the cheek and left the room to get ready to leave.

* * *

When they arrived at the mission, the place was quieter than normal. Less staff worked on a Saturday, unless they had a major case. Deeks was reminded of how empty the place had felt when it had been just the team in there, trying to get Kensi back. She eyed him suspiciously but he didn't mention anything to her. Instead they found their way into the bull pen and sat down at their desks.

Deeks placed his new name plate along the front on his desk and Kensi snapped a few photos of him sat in his chair before flipping it around to the shaggy side and taking a few more, the both of them falling into a fit of giggles after he blinked in one of the photos. Kensi set that particular picture as her background on her phone then and there. After she had taken some more photos to share with her mom and Brenda she looked over at her own desk.

A small pile of forms, statement reports and witness reports were sitting on the desk, waiting to be signed. She saw that Hetty had filled them in for her, all she had to do was sign. Which she did without reading the text, she knew exactly what had happened in that house and had no need to re-read her own words. She got up and dropped them off at Hetty's empty desk. When she got back from her short walk across the room she saw that Nate had somehow sneaked into the bull pen in the few seconds she had her back turned and was catching up with Deeks.

"Kensi, How are you?" Nate asked enthusiastically.

"Good, Deeks is going first. I'll be in the armoury." She took off before either of them could say a word to her.

"I guess I'm going first." Deeks said, letting Nate lead him from the bull pen to one of the private rooms at the back of the building.

* * *

"So, Deeks. How have you been?" Nate asked as they both found their way into the small, but private room. It had a sofa, a small armchair and not much else. Deeks sat down on the sofa, waiting until Nate had sat himself in the armchair before answering.

"I'm okay. Better than the last time we spoke in here." He said, referencing the time after Sidorov.

"That's great, did you continue with your therapy after I left? Did you call Dr. Merrel like I suggested?"

"Yeah." Deeks answered, before quickly correctly. "At least I did, I last saw her two months ago, it's hard to find time to talk to a shrink when you're undercover."

"I'm really glad you continued it, that's great progress." Deeks just smiled, waiting on another question so he pushed on. "Symptoms any better?"

"I don't have nightmares as often, the migraines are less than once a month and I'm doing good with the Sidorov stuff."

"What about everything that just happened though?" Nate asked when he noticed Deeks making the distinction between Sidorov and the Allard/Sanyo case.

"My nightmares are more about Kensi and my mom, he is still there sometimes, but it's more about him stopping me from helping them, than about him going all evil dentist on me."

"Do you have guilt over how you helped your mom and Kensi?"

"Of course I do, I got my mom out but Kensi was kept there and had to literally fight to the death to survive, of course I feel guilty. Kensi of course won't let me apologise or even mention it." He said dejectedly, throwing his head back onto the sofa, trying to calm his thoughts. Nate stayed quiet and gave him a few minutes. "If we don't talk about it it's going to destroy us." Deeks added once he had collected his thoughts, his voice sounding broken.

"You understand why she may be unwilling to talk about it all?" Nate pushed gently, knowing he was reaching into territory that had made Deeks angry the last time they had discussed it.

"Yeah." Deeks answered, surprising Nate when he just seemed sad, not angry. "She is still trying to process me leaving her behind, angry in a way." It had been how he had felt, he had locked Kensi out for weeks while he wrapped his head around the confusing emotions until she refused to accept his closed doors and forced him to have a movie night.

"Are you still angry with her for that?"

"No." Deeks yelled and stood up, giving Nate the reaction he had expected a moment before. "I stopped being angry about that a few months after it happened. She knew she could get me out, and she did, just not right away, she didn't leave me to be killed." He realised he was yelling at himself as much as Nate. Nate never once raised his voice, or even moved in his chair. He allowed Deeks to pace back and forth until he was finally calm enough to sit. When he found his way back to the sofa Nate pushed a bottle of water towards him.

"You know you didn't have a choice?"

"Doesn't make it right doc. Can we come back to this?" Deeks pleaded, feeling out of control of his emotions always made Deeks nervous.

"Your mother, how is she doing?"

"Well. She is still in the rehab and following the plan. I have to go to family session next week, just her and I." Nate raised his eyebrows so Deeks explained. "The doctor wants to talk about my father."

"Are you ready for that kind of session Deeks?"

"I already made an appointment with Dr. Merrel for a few days before it." Nate seemed impressed and his face broke into a smile.

"That is really great news Deeks. I'm glad you are returning to see Dr. Merrel now your undercover work is over. How about we wrap up our session for now and I can forward my notes to her if you are happy for me to do that?"

"Sounds good." Deeks said standing up and shaking Nates hand. "Thanks for everything Nate. You gave me the push to get over Sidorov."

"You did that yourself Deeks. Go find Kensi and tell her I'm going to grab a coffee and I'll be waiting in my office whenever she is ready."

* * *

Deeks pushed the door to the armoury open and watched as Kensi took aim at the paper targets. Despite her injuries she hit the target every time. Deeks waited until she had unloaded her clip before trying to get her attention. Allowing her the last release of tension before she would have to go and talk to Nate.

"You ready Kensi?" He asked gently. She didn't speak but she gave him a small nod. "I'll be at my desk, just give me a shout when he wants me to join you guys."

"Okay." She managed to say, walking from the room trying to prepare herself for whatever Nate was about to ask her.

* * *

Kensi gave a small knock at the door listening for Nate, he opened the door a led her in to the room trying to put her at ease.

"How are you feeling Kensi?" Nate asked when she finally sat down. He stifled a laugh when he heard her mutter something which sounded suspiciously like 'Deeks said be honest Kensi.'

"Tired." She admitted eventually. "Tired and sore."

"That's to be expected, but emotionally?"

"Tired and sore?" She said again with a laugh, this time he joined in and it seemed to put her at ease.

"What about an easier question. What do you want to get from this session?"

"Thought you said easy Nate?" She said but he just raised an eyebrow so she gave the question some serious thought. "I want to know if I'll be me again?"

"Why do you think you aren't 'you' right now?"

"Because I can actually cope when bad things happening to me."

"Can you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded, anger flashing across her eyes.

"You didn't really cope with Afghanistan did you? Or Jack Simon's reappearance. Now you are held captive again, and felt abandoned again, and it brings up a lot of the same memories that were simply buried. Not dealt with." His voice wasn't accusatory, he was trying to tell her as gently as he could that she had a long process ahead of her.

"I spoke to someone about Afghanistan."

"Kensi it's an ongoing thing, a single session won't help completely."

"Then where do we start Nate because I'm drowning here." She whispered and pulled her legs onto the sofa. It took Nate by surprise to hear her admit that she needed, and wanted help. He pushed on while he thought she was being open to talking about her problems.

"What's the main emotion you have right now that you wish you could stop?"

"Anger."

"At who?"

"Sanyo and those men that helped him, and, it's..." She took a small breath and looked at Nate, she saw no judgement in his eyes so she continued, this time in a whisper. "It's terrible but I'm angry at Deeks. He did the right thing, I know he did, and I left him too so I can't even say it's because I don't understand why he did it."

"You realise that it's perfectly normal." She gave a nod but still looked angry at herself.

"I didn't deserve him to pick me anyway."

"Why would you say that?"

"I left him in the body shop." Her hands were shaking and she looked ready to storm out.

"You were doing your job. You saved thousands of lives, and protected Michelle Hanna."

"I left him though. I shouldn't have." Her voice broke and she took a drink of the water. She glanced at Nate and he tried to appear as relaxed as possible, it must have worked because she pushed on. "I don't deserve him Nate. Don't make out that I do. I'm not talking about this any more." She said and crossed her arms in front of her, staring out of the small window. He debated returning to the subject but he didn't want her to give up on therapy so early.

"Any nightmares?"

"Yes. I don't want to talk about them either." He could see she was closing herself off and he desperately tried to think of a lighter topic that might keep her from shutting down completely.

"What makes you feel better?" It worked, he saw a small smile play at her lips.

"Two things. Deeks and being in the armoury." He waited on her continuing. "In the armoury I know I can still fight, my aim is still as good as it was, and I know that I can survive, physically, at least in most situations. And Deeks? He is my everything."

"Why don't we bring him in now? I don't want to exhaust you too much in your first session so why don't we stop here?" She nodded and moved to get up. "You stay here, I'll grab him." He said, knowing Kensi would be tempted to leave the building if she got up.

He closed the door behind him and yelled across at Deeks, waving him up to join them and returned to the small room.

* * *

Deeks moved onto the chair and sat beside Kensi who shot him a small smile and turned her attention back to Nate.

"I'm going to ask you both a question which I think will determine where we take this session." They both gave a questioning look but nodded in agreement. "Do you trust each other?"

"Yes." They both said in sync, clearly angered at the idea they didn't trust their partner. Nate laughed and then quickly apologised.

"I'm sorry, I expected that answer just not with as much, force, behind it." He admitted and that got the pair smiling back at him. "I don't want to make this session too long. You are both clearly exhausted from our chats so I just want to make sure you are both aware of what we have ahead of us, as well as maybe getting you to be honest with each other. Are you both okay to continue?" He asked, Kensi was clearly the most out of her comfort zone but she nodded and Deeks gave a curt yes.

"Is there anything you would like to say to the other in here, and they have got to listen to you say it."

"I would." Deeks said instantly, snatching up the opportunity. He shifted around in the sofa until he was facing Kensi. "I'm so sorry I couldn't get you out. I tried, I promise I thought of every other scenario but there was no way. I thought I could trace them but they tricked us. I wish I could change things and get you out of there but I can't. I'm so sorry."

"Kensi?" Nate asked when he was sure Deeks had finished.

"I'm angry, not really at you, just at the idea you didn't pick me. I get it though and I understand and I forgive you." Deeks face lit up at her words, believing them more than any other time she had said them because she had allowed him to speak, the look was wiped off his face when she kept talking, still not removing her gaze from her hands. "I'm not the Kensi I was a few weeks ago, I might be again one day, but I don't want you to be with me out of some ill conceived guilt from not picking me. I'm giving you an out to either the relationship or both the relationship and the partnership if you would rather that."

"Kensi." She was still looking at her hands, silent tears falling fast as she waiting on Deeks answer, her heart breaking at the idea of no longer being his, and no longer being able to call him hers. "Kensi." He repeated, lifting her chin up so she was looking in his eyes. "I love you and the only way I would ever leave would be if you truly wanted me too."

"Are you sure?" She asked, voice wavering.

"Of course I'm sure." he responded, his voice starting to waver too. They had completely forgotten they were with Nate as they stared at each other. It was only when he started speaking they broke their stares.

"I think knowing what you just told each other will stop you both from dealing with this badly at home?" The both gave little nods in agreement, subconsciously moving closer together. "The next few months are going to be challenging. You will have to deal with being out of the field for a while Kensi. Deeks you will have to deal with being without your partner for a while. You both have to deal with Brenda and her rehab as well as your continued sessions here to deal with the events of the past. Do you think you can commit to more sessions?"

"Yes." Kensi said, surprising them both.

"Good, I'm glad. Deeks, you are always welcome to see me when Dr. Merrel is unavailable. Why don't we call an end to it today and we will see each other next week?"

"Sounds good." Deeks said, rising from the chair.

"Yeah, thanks Nate." Kensi said, pulling her friend in for a hug. Grabbing onto Deeks hand and leading him from the small room and down the stairs.

"We are going to be okay aren't we?" She asked, looking up at him.

"Of course we are." He promised stopping to give her a kiss in the middle of the bull pen. "What?" He said when he pulled away. "I'm not going to be able to do that in here again, may as well get it out my system." She rolled her eyes and pulled him from the bull pen.

"Let's get food and go visit your mom." She said as the left ops and climbed into the car.


	27. Epilogue

The shots flew over their heads almost endlessly. The small crew of criminals refusing to go down without a fight. Dust flew by their heads as bullets ricocheted off the walls they were hiding behind.

"We're going to be late." Kensi yelled as she leant against a pillar in the centre of the room. Deeks was ten feet from her in the old building, hiding behind a similar post. She aimed her gun almost at Deeks and took two shots in rapid succession. Deeks heard a body land behind him but didn't stop to look, instead firing behind Kensi, taking out another one. Neither blinking at the others guns being momentarily aimed a little too close for most peoples trust or comfort levels.

"We still have forty five minutes." He yelled shooting out from behind the pillar, the crashing sound telling him he had hit another mark. "and it's only a fifteen minute drive."

"You expect me to turn up in this." she yelled at him before taking a shot on her left. "I mean look at me." She shouted once more.

"Kinda shooting bad guys here Kensalina." He said, but took a glance anyway. She had on a pair of now ripped scrubs, having been undercover in the pharmacy of the hospital all day. He was in a security guard uniform, his day had been spent patrolling the hospital wing she had been placed in. The both of them were tired of this particular case, ready to get back to being Kensi and Deeks, rather than Nina and Alex. They had been forced to sit in the disgusting warehouse waiting on the pharmaceutical reps for over an hour after working an entire shift at the hospital, they had heard rumours that the crew who were stealing the medication were planning on meeting there that evening. Two weeks of undercover work hopefully ended tonight.

"I surrender." A voice cried out, the sound shrill and unpleasant. No other guns had sounded and if their body count was correct, she was the last piece of the gang left standing. Kensi motioned for him to step around the far side of the room to his right while she stepped out onto the left side. They spun round in perfect sync, quickly disarming the woman and clearing the room. Sam and Callen came running in with their guns raised.

"Thanks for the back up guys." Kensi teased them.

"Just you two get going, Hetty said the reports can wait, you don't want to be late." Sam said as he pulled the woman from the floor and handcuffed her.

They looked at each other and immediately rushed from the warehouse and into Kensi's car, pulling away from the scene and driving as fast as they could back to their house.

The house they lived in was different from Deeks apartment. It was closer to the beach, and a little more cluttered, now that their home contained both of their stuff. She started stripping out of her clothes as soon as the door closed behind her and Deeks was quickly on her tail, his clothes being thrown behind him.

"That's just not fair." He yelled as he watched her run around the house in just her underwear.

"Deeks, we don't have time. We will be late, get changed." She said knowing what he was thinking. He realised he was standing in just his boxers, staring at her like he had never seen her naked before. She aimed his jeans and shirt at him, hitting him in the head, shaking him from his little day dream. She went into the bathroom and came out five minutes later, her hair done and her make up bag in her hand, ready to be applied in the car. Deeks waiting on her at the front door car keys in his hand ready to get going again. They rushed from the house, still out of breath. They had driven five feet out of their parking space when he shouted.

"The gift!" She pressed down hard on the break and he ran into the house, returning in seconds with the small velvet box.

They pulled up at her mothers house with two minutes to spare, when they got to the door they tried to get themselves together. They felt like they hadn't stopped running all day.

"You good Kens'?" Deeks asked, knowing she hadn't had much of a chance to think about the significance of the date. They had been kept busy, and he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

"I'm really good." She replied honestly, grabbing onto his hand. It had been a year ago that Kensi and his mother had been taken. She had been preparing herself for it with Nate and Deeks at their, now fortnightly, sessions. Kensi surprised herself when the date rolled around and she was dealing with it well. Nate had warned her that anniversaries often brought back difficult emotions, so she was making sure she was emotionally equipped to deal with it, but she also made sure she had enough distractions. That was why they had made a big effort to celebrate the sobriety of his mother, rather than think of it as the anniversary of the Sanyo case. That's why they had a dinner planned at her mom's house, and they were warned not to be late.

She pressed the doorbell to the large house and Julia opened it, smiling at the pair.

"How you two always manage to make it _just_ on time, every time, I'll never know." She said as she glanced at her watch.

"It's a talent." Deeks winked, before giving her a kiss on the cheek and making his way past her into the house. Kensi gave her mom a hug and followed Deeks through the house and out into the back yard.

"Hey mom." Deeks said to the blonde woman running into his arms. She quickly pulled Kensi in for a hug too. The woman in front of them would have been unrecognisable from the woman Deeks had stumbled across the year before. Her blonde hair seemed shiny and healthy and had been cut into a smart bob, her skin looked smooth and clear and her smile was the most noticeable difference, it was genuine, happiness shining through.

The two men at the table stood up and said their hellos. Julia had gotten closer with Jeff in the past year, he was a recovering alcoholic and had become something of a sponsor for Deeks mother. They had bonded over a shared understanding of their demons and with twenty two years of sobriety he was a huge support for her. Deeks had been worried at first, his history with his own fathers alcohol addiction blinding him to the man Jeff was, causing him to be overly protective of Julia. It had been his mother that had shown him that he was nothing like his father and since then the two had gotten very friendly. Jeff eventually introduced Brenda to his business partner Ronald and they had been, rather shyly, dating for six months. Ronald was quiet, patient, calm and doted on Brenda. He was exactly what his mother needed. Both their mothers got on great, which surprised them as they both came from very different pasts and backgrounds. Their shared love of their children had been enough to get friendly chatter started but at some point a genuine friendship had been born and Kensi was often unsurprised to turn up at her mom's to find the two woman in the back garden discussing one of their many shared topics of discussion, reality TV, spa trips and their favourite thing to discuss, their children's future.

"Ground rules for this evening." Kensi said still standing, when everyone was sat around the table. "Do not ask us when we are getting married. Do not ask us about children. Do not pull one of us aside and ask us either of these questions. I don't care if you are both available for free babysitting until the end of time. Don't ask."

"But..." Julia started.

"No."

"Can..." Brenda asked.

"Nope."

Deeks watched Kensi with amusement on his face, a few years ago neither of them spoke to their mothers and now they were having to give them into trouble for being a little too interested in their lives. He liked the way his life had progressed and if they were honest, neither of them really minded their mom's being too involved, they were both just pleased they were in their lives at all. The two woman looked at Kensi with delight evident on their faces, the scary agent tact not quite working on them, but that evening was to celebrate Brenda's sobriety so they didn't bring up their favourite topic for the rest of the evening.

"Mom, we got you a gift." Deeks said as he passed his mom the small box. She opened it and found a small charm bracelet with one charm already attached. The small charm, a circle with 'one' engraved on it, was a simple gift. The meaning behind it though, was anything but. She took it from the box delicately and placed it on her wrist, allowing Ronald to close the clasp when she couldn't get it because of her shaking hands.

"Thank you both so much." She said, bringing them both back in for another hug.

"We are really proud of you mom." Deeks said and Kensi nodded in agreement beside him. She glanced down at the charm on her wrist, pride welling within her at the tough year they had all been through.

Deeks and Kensi helped Julia bring out the food for everyone and they caught their parents up on work. They sat around the table until well after the plates had cleared and the sun had set. Kensi and Deeks eventually felt the effects of the long day start to kick in and they excused themselves. Making another round of hugs at the table, they started to walk back to their car, leaving the little group to continue chatting well into the night.

"So about earlier." Deeks started when they climbed into the car. "When do we make them exceedingly happy and tell them we are getting married?" Deeks asked as he watched her slip the ornate ring from the necklace she wore it on while at work, and place it on her finger.

"Next week, tonight was about your mom, not us." She answered pulling him in for a kiss. "Now take me home." She whispered seductively into his ear, and he pulled away into the traffic, eager to get them both back to their house.

Back in the house, Julia and Brenda were now sat in the kitchen at the bar drinking their ice teas.

"Can you believe her? 'Do not ask us when we are getting married.' and then she plays with that damn ring around her neck all night." Julia complained.

"If they haven't told us by next week we start planning without them." Brenda laughed, her laughter only getting louder when Julia passed her a magazine. 'American Bride' with a dozen post it notes hanging over the side.

* * *

**A/N: ****Hope you enjoyed the story, I'm a little sad to be finished it. **Thank you to everyone who has read this ****and Bordereau. I appreciate all the reviews and feedback both on here and on tumblr so much, thank you! ****


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